Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Tell me about French Weddings

62 replies

Cherryana · 10/08/2021 11:04

I am watching L’Agence de Paris on Netflix. Which I highly recommend if you like property, France and reality tv. The family they follow are tres charmant.

In episode 3 one of the brothers got married. The wife looked so beautiful in a gorgeous vintage style dress but I was surprised at how casual it was. The (very lovely and stylish) mum was wearing a denim jacket.

Cut to the scene of the reception and everyone looks more dressed up including the bride. She has a veil and the mum looks more ‘mother of the bride’.

So, I am both curious and a romantic - what happens on a French wedding day?

OP posts:
LadyDanburysCane · 10/08/2021 12:03

They do the “legal” bit at the town hall first. Often this is very casual and low key. THEN there is the big fancy ceremony with vows, white dress, veil, flowers etc.

At least that’s how it is where my family live..

Tibtab · 10/08/2021 12:12

France has a separation of church (and religion) and state, so you can’t have a “legal” religious ceremony.
So for the people I know, the legal bit is not a fancy affair and then afterwards you have a party more similar to a UK wedding and/or a religious ceremony.

BikeRunSki · 10/08/2021 12:13

This is what happened at the only French wedding I have been to too.

weemouse · 10/08/2021 12:14

They don't dress up and get their glam on, the same way the Brits do for a wedding. I've been to many French weddings and people turn up in jeans, trainers, and fairly casual attire, funerals are the same. People here are more bothered that you did turn up and are enjoying yourself, than what you are wearing.

Yes there is the Legal ceremony first, and then church, but no-one changes clothes between venues, you go to both as is.

Then it's the apero, where a lot of people are invited for 2-3 hours of drinks and nibbles, but not all of them will stay for the sit down dinner at night.

The sit down dinner will start around 7.30-8.00pm, and there is dancing in between the courses, with the dessert being served from midnight onwards. There is champagne - a lot of champagne.

The best thing about French weddings (and birthdays) is that there is no faff over gift giving, everyone just brings an envelope with a cheque or cash, and you post it in a themed letterbox. No angst over gift lists, poems or what the happy couple will spend the cash on, no-one cares - this is the best bit. The UK could learn a thing or 2 here!

Vive les maries!!

FrenchFancie · 10/08/2021 12:17

As the others have said, there’s the ‘legal’ marriage at the town hall and then the fancy religious bit - sometimes on the same day, sometimes separated by a few days (my husbands best friends legal wedding was 9 months before the religious wedding…). The legal wedding tends to be more informal, the religious wedding tends to be more dressy, although not everyone has a religious wedding.

Als wedding receptions last a long long time - when my BIL got married we didn’t leave the table to start dancing / cutting the cake until just after midnight. When my wedding finished at 11pm (we had no late licence) all the French relatives were very confused!!

brittanyfairies · 10/08/2021 12:21

The first wedding I went to in France i was horrified at the amount of people who turned up in jeans and trainers. I've been to a couple more since where people were better dressed but not like in the UK. I've not seen anyone get dressed up for a funeral, a lot of the time they don't know the deceased. My partner drove 2 hours at the weekend to go to the funeral of a colleague's mother. He's not particularly close to the colleague and had never met the mother. I do find that mega weird

ClaudiaWankleman · 10/08/2021 12:22

I think wild boar is traditional wedding fare, especially in the South West of France. It waned in popularity a bit in the 80s and 90s but is back with full force now, especially as the boar population is so high!

someonelockthefridgealready · 10/08/2021 12:25

It depends where you are in France too. My DH's family are in the south-east and the church ceremony and reception, everyone is very dressed up. Cocktail dresses, hair done by the hairdresser, etc. I felt very underdressed the first couple we attended! I think the richer you get, the more casual things are though - ancedotal observation there only, mind.

Horriblewoman · 10/08/2021 12:27

I was so hungry when I went to a French wedding.

That's my main memory.

HelloCanYouHearMe · 10/08/2021 12:28

Quite possibly one of the best weddings ive ever been to!

Town hall for the ceremony then on to another venu for food and dancing - very relaxed, with the final meal course served in the early hours of the morning. I think the groom was the last man standing at 5am!

The 'reception' was meal, dancing, meal, dancing, meal, dancing etc... no bar, wine on the tables, no punch ups, no attitude, just a brilliant, lovely day

graywall · 10/08/2021 12:31

We were the first to leave our neighbours wedding in France as we had an early flight the next day - it was 2am and we still hadn't had the dessert!! Great night tho'.

ClaudiaWankleman · 10/08/2021 13:09

no punch ups

@HelloCanYouHearMe These aren't really a traditional feature of weddings anywhere, are they?

Nosilayak · 10/08/2021 13:13

I went to my French penfriends wedding in the Loire Valley about 30 years ago. The ceremony itself was in the town hall with only a few of us allowed inside. Everyone else, very casually dressed, stood around in the street outside waiting for them. We then all walked through the town, literally stopping traffic, to a big hall and had a meal with many courses, that went on late into the night. The newlyweds had already disappeared, when a lot of the guests all went back to a family members house. I followed, thinking we were all just going back for a drink, so was puzzled when everyone piled into the kitchen and started melting chocolate bars in a massive pan on the cooker, then added pink toilet roll paper and stirred it into the melted chocolate. They put this into 2 dishes on a tray and then burst into one of the bedrooms. The room was in darkness and when all the lights were switched on I was shocked to see the bride and groom in bed together, they were then made to sit up and were fed the chocolate and toilet paper mixture. Everyone was laughing and taking photos, it was obviously some strange tradition they had. Definitely the weirdest but most memorable wedding ive ever been to.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 10/08/2021 13:18

1.Boring legal bit - town clothes or possibly slightly smarter

  1. Wedding party - fancy clothes, champagne, lovely nibbles lots of cheek kissing, then all the wine and more lovely food. Dancing. Many children asleep on piles of coats in the corner as the evening went on iirc...
HelloCanYouHearMe · 10/08/2021 14:20

@ClaudiaWankleman Unfortunately they appear to be at about 80% of the UK weddings i've been to

Bramshott · 10/08/2021 14:23

I've never been to a French wedding, but seen a lot of processions of cars, all decorated with ribbons and beeping their horns, coming through the village where we stay in the summer. Would that be the guests moving from the legal wedding to the religious wedding?

gogohm · 10/08/2021 14:47

The one I went to was pretty casual in a vineyard, the legal bit was at the town hall and only the couple, best man and bridesmaid went.

SparklingLime · 10/08/2021 14:52

The only French wedding I’ve been to (as a child so a while ago) was an ultra glamorous, three-day affair. Including two banquets and a river cruise. Never experienced anything like it.

KeflavikAirport · 10/08/2021 14:54

I am French and have NEVER heard the chocolate and toilet paper thing. Best part of my wedding was all the French guests looking completely bemused as all the UK guests threw themselves around the dance floor to Come on Eileen, then the UK guests looking on bemused as the French guests threw themselves around to Alexandrie, Alexandra Grin

SparklingLime · 10/08/2021 14:55

Oh yes, endless wedding-themed ribbons on the cars. This was 80s Brittany.

IsThePopeCatholic · 10/08/2021 14:55

People at French weddings do not separate into his family and her family when they’re in church or at the town Hall. It’s so much better than in Britain. In UK weddings it almost seems like there are two factions at war with each other.

fluffiphlox · 10/08/2021 15:00

[quote HelloCanYouHearMe]@ClaudiaWankleman Unfortunately they appear to be at about 80% of the UK weddings i've been to[/quote]
I’ve been to a fair few weddings. There’s NEVER been a punch up.

Bandol · 10/08/2021 15:07

I went to the wedding of one of DH's colleagues who he was friends with. There was a room set up in the venue for small children to sleep in complete with babysitter and all the other parents turned up with travel cots.

DS was around 2 months old and I was suffering from new parent exhaustion. It was really late when I went up to the kids room with DS when we'd finally finished the main course of the meal. I remember falling asleep on a table with DS sleeping in his pushchair. I think DH came to find us to go home just after having his dessert at 1am!

elp30 · 10/08/2021 15:36

[quote KeflavikAirport]I am French and have NEVER heard the chocolate and toilet paper thing. Best part of my wedding was all the French guests looking completely bemused as all the UK guests threw themselves around the dance floor to Come on Eileen, then the UK guests looking on bemused as the French guests threw themselves around to Alexandrie, Alexandra Grin

[/quote]

I have never heard that song before but I can see how fun that would be to sing and dance along to. It's great!

I'm not from the UK so "C'mon Eileen" confuses me too at weddings.

I didn't have a wedding but I sort of wish I did because I think my English relatives would have been freaked out with my culture's favorite wedding song that fills up the floor called, "Mariachi Loco".
The musicians are doing the dances that accompany the song.

countrygirl99 · 10/08/2021 15:46

We went to a wedding in North East Farnce. It was December and we didn't have much leave left. We picked the kids (primary age) up from school and got the shuttle, hotel near St Omer, got up early to drive across France. Made the mistake of a light snack lunch. The legal bit was at 2 and we didn't start the meal until about 8.30. By midnight the boys were asleep slumped on the table and dessert hadn't been served. After breakfast we drove all the way back home. Lots of fire crackers and driving round town tooting horns between the Church and the hotel.

Swipe left for the next trending thread