Tell me about French Weddings

[Cherryana]

I am watching L’Agence de Paris on Netflix. Which I highly recommend if you like property, France and reality tv. The family they follow are tres charmant.

In episode 3 one of the brothers got married. The wife looked so beautiful in a gorgeous vintage style dress but I was surprised at how casual it was. The (very lovely and stylish) mum was wearing a denim jacket.

Cut to the scene of the reception and everyone looks more dressed up including the bride. She has a veil and the mum looks more ‘mother of the bride’.

So, I am both curious and a romantic - what happens on a French wedding day?

This has been fascinating- thank you to everyone who has contributed. I didn’t know most of what you shared but I love that it’s full of food that goes on for hours and that there are pre-prepared dance routines!!

All in all, I am more triste that I am not French. I love a late night soirée!!

Been to a Belgian wedding.
The thing that got them going was Le Connemara.
Like really going

First time I actually listened to the lyrics. It’s about Ireland!?!! What?

Been to one near Nice.

Very casual and un-ceremonial legal bit, literally about a hundred people crammed into a small room and not enough seats for everyone.

No church but a fairly glam reception. Not dissimilar to a posh british one except that the food was absolutely incredible and spaced out with lots of mingling inbetween.

Main was Veal which would be rare in the Uk. A ridiculous dessert buffet turned up at 1am. We left at about 3am but were one or the first.

There was a further party the following day.

Oh yeah le Connemara is another banger!

My friend got married in France. They had gone the day before to the mairie to do the legal bit, with just very close family as witnesses. The bit we went to was a blessing and reception.

Although the setting was lovely, it was very loooooong and very drawn out. We got there around 4, they did the blessing, we hung around mingling, the meal started around 7, several courses, loooooong pauses between courses, more mingling getting up from the table and moving around. Dessert was served at midnight.

Meant to add we were at a wedding in Switzerland which was very similar to the French wedding.

Also at a wedding in Germany which also does the civil bit the day before. We attended the blessing in the church, then the bride's school orchestra marched us through the town centre playing all the way to the reception, which was much quicker than the French versions. Speeches in between courses rather than all at the end or the start of the meal.

And people in Germany seem to give hampers and gifts of food for wedding presents which really doesn't happen here. They also for dessert had a "gateau buffet", lots of friends/relatives had been asked to bring a massive homemade dessert to the reception rather than a gift, it was like the Great German Bake Off and it was AMAZING.

I have to say I have never come across the pasta-making or bedroom trashing or people singing songs or doing dance routines... I suspect the weddings I go to are not quite as posh

I went to one in eastern France about ten years ago. Lots of the above applied - there was the legal ceremony at the mairie, then everyone walked to the church for the religious ceremony, and then onto the reception venue. Everyone came to the ceremonies and the reception drinks/canapés but not everyone stayed on for the dinner. I was in a rather unique position as the only foreigner (but French-speaking) and a long-standing friend of the bride - so I actually stayed with the bride and groom before and immediately after the wedding.

The dinner was a typically multi course French affair, wine on the table, champagne, etc. The bits I wasn’t expecting were:

1. Some of the guests were much more casually dressed than you’d expect for a British wedding. Others were in much smarter clothes. Nobody seemed to mind! Everyone wore the same outfit throughout.

2. After the drinks reception and before the dinner, the bride’s brother drove the bride and groom (and me, as the token foreigner!) round the village and other local villages in the groom’s decorated car. Cue lots of horn-beeping and shouts of “Vive les mariés!” from anyone we passed!

3. The “chasse aux mariés “ - hunt the newlyweds. I’d completely forgotten about this but the bride and groom sloped off at about 0200 and hid in the house they would be spending the night in. The guests then went round the village banging on doors (of people they knew or who had been at the wedding) demanding to see the newlyweds, at which point the house owner would innocently deny all knowledge. Two of us in the party knew where they were hiding. Much puzzling from everyone else as to where they were.

When we eventually found them, we presented them with the “newlyweds’ chamber pot”, which was filled with an awful looking mix of chocolate, sweets and God knows what. This is apparently a regional tradition - other guests from elsewhere in France weren’t familiar with it.

4. The bride and groom arranged for their daughter and nephew (both under two) to be taken home by their daughter’s childminder after the drinks reception and given dinner and put to bed at her house, then collected the next morning. Seemed to suit everyone!

5. The “frills” associated with British weddings didn’t seem to be as much of a big deal. This may reflect the bride and groom rather than French tradition, as they were quite relaxed. Like, the favours were draguées (sugared almonds/chocolate) because that’s what favours are. The venue was a village hall so we all decorated it the day before. We drove there in the bride and groom’s car, which they decorated the day before. Etc.

Overall, it was an amazing experience and I was very touched to have been so included in the day!

@WhatsTheTimeMrCat that was so interesting reading your experience of the wedding. It brought back lots of memories of the wedding I attended, which I'd forgotten about.

What a great thread, particularly the international array of banging dancefloor fillers

Definitely check out the oeuvre of Claude François, all massive bangers and yes he did come to a grisly end....