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Tell me about French Weddings

62 replies

Cherryana · 10/08/2021 11:04

I am watching L’Agence de Paris on Netflix. Which I highly recommend if you like property, France and reality tv. The family they follow are tres charmant.

In episode 3 one of the brothers got married. The wife looked so beautiful in a gorgeous vintage style dress but I was surprised at how casual it was. The (very lovely and stylish) mum was wearing a denim jacket.

Cut to the scene of the reception and everyone looks more dressed up including the bride. She has a veil and the mum looks more ‘mother of the bride’.

So, I am both curious and a romantic - what happens on a French wedding day?

OP posts:
Nosilayak · 10/08/2021 15:48

The wedding with the chocolate and toilet paper was in a place called Azay le Rideau, maybe its a local tradition or maybe my penfriends family were just crazy.

KeflavikAirport · 10/08/2021 15:51

Azay le Rideau has one of the fabulous Loire valley castles. I think the family were just nutters TBH Grin

DillonPanthersTexas · 10/08/2021 15:53

I attended an Irish wedding in France, not sure if the locals knew what hit them. As pointed out already french weddings tend to be a low key affairs with guests attending for the afternoon before heading home. My friends got legally married at the Marie office before walking straight to the church nextdoor. Then followed drinks, dinner, speeches, a live band and partying till the early hours. The band loved it as they told us that the wedding gigs they usually do were really boring and they were essentially there as background music whereas at this wedding they could cut loose with a floor full of revellers.

Nosilayak · 10/08/2021 16:20

@KeflavikAirport I've just googled French wedding traditions and I think it's based on a tradition called the "Chamber Pot". It involves waking up the bride and groom and feeding them melted chocolate, bananas and champagne, served in a chamber pot, wrapped in toilet paper. Maybe id had a bit to drink and thought the toilet paper was mixed in with the chocolate or maybe my lot were just nutters. It was a very rural area, Lile Bouchard/Azay le Rideau and, yes, Azay had the most beautiful chateau.

KeflavikAirport · 10/08/2021 17:37

Wow, well apparently it is a thing. Who knew.

fluffiphlox · 10/08/2021 19:39

Claude François though…came to quite an unfortunate end IIRC.

SquirryTheSquirrel · 10/08/2021 19:42

Just place marking to read these interesting wedding descriptions. I've never attended a wedding outside the UK.

Wonderbox · 10/08/2021 19:49

A couple of the ones I’ve been to featured friends of the couple singing them interminable en masse songs referencing stories about their drunken escapades and things they’d done at school. My French was fairly idiomatic at the time but maybe you had to have been there…?

I do remember a Franco-Hibernian wedding in Ireland where the Irish guests were dressed formally and the French contingent were mostly wearing jeans and tracksuit bottoms at the church ceremony.

Shodan · 10/08/2021 19:52

I've only been to one, in Brittany, and that was many years ago, but it was fab.

We didn't go to the legal ceremony, but did attend the church one. All the women in the wedding party had very intricate hairstyles, which one of them told us was traditional for them (unclear if it was the family or the area) instead of hats. The service, iirc, went on for quite a long time (may have been Catholic?)

Then everyone piled into cars and drove for ages to a hall in the middle of nowhere. The meal went on for hours and hours, starting with great piles of fruits de mer, with speeches/entertainments in between each course (5 courses I think). We overate on the first course GrinThen dancing, and at the end of the night everyone got back into their cars and drove away- including the bride, who drove herself and the groom away. That was quite funny, watching everyone pushing all of her dress into the car.

Mooserp · 10/08/2021 20:02

Thank you for starting this thread as I wondered exactly the same thing when watching the show!

Silkiecats · 10/08/2021 20:11

Have French husband so had French wedding and been to quite a few.

The legal part is in town hall and ceremony in church. All the ones I have been to people are very dressed up and also unlimited champagne included and go on until about 6am in morning.

Our wedding list was at what on the French department stores and most of the gifts were more than you get here and quite a lot of honeymoon donations so our honeymoon to Carribean was all paid for.

Silkiecats · 10/08/2021 20:14

There was a car chase in ours and also a tradition of trashing the wedding bedroom so our bed was on the balcony. The cake was brought in with sparklers on and kind of caramel profiteroles in a big tower.

Silkiecats · 10/08/2021 20:20

Ours was church, reception at hotel for champagne and canapés, casino for evening event until 6am with lots of food, unlimited champagne and dancing and photos at a chateau.

One of one's we went to was at a big chateau then back to their second home which had a big swimming pool, massive gardens and overlooking the south coast with a cat that dipped its tail in pool.

Silkiecats · 10/08/2021 20:22

Oh and they had this strange tradition where couples married over a year where not allowed to sit together.

AnotherEmma · 10/08/2021 20:40

I've attended a lot of french weddings.

Format is

  1. Legal ceremony at the mairie, this bit is always boring and the room never seems to be big enough for all the guests, so you get people standing around the edges.
  2. Some people then go to a church to have a religious ceremony, some have an alternative ceremony (eg humanist or whatever) but most just go straight to the next bit...
  3. Vin d'honneur, this is the drinks reception after the ceremony and there are usually canapés too (not that the french call it that, canapé means sofa Grin)
  4. Three course meal which starts late and is very long and drawn out. They ALWAYS serve foie gras for starter (which I hate so I go hungry!) and you don't usually get your main course until about 9-10pm, then cheese course, then dessert any time between midnight and 2am.
  5. Dancing - at every wedding I've attended, the music has been a DJ and not a live band. And French music can be ahem questionable Grin
  6. French onion soup served at about 4-5am to the people still standing
  7. Everyone goes to bed for a bit
  8. Everyone comes back at about 11am for a hungover brunch/lunch type meal which is theoretically leftovers but in reality it's a cold buffet

Oh and there is always lots of alcohol provided, usually open bar type thing. But guests are more generous with gifts and will give money. So the money given kind of pays for the alcohol bill!

I think there are pros and cons

Pros:

  1. People tend to invite everyone to the ceremony, then most people to the vin d'honneur, then a smaller number to the reception. This makes sense (the reception ie sit down meal is the expensive bit) and it avoids the awkward hanging around you get at some U.K. weddings if you're B list and only invited to the ceremony and party and not the meal in between.
  2. Generally more relaxed vibe (although I did go to one very classy french wedding at a château where the MOB looked fabulous as did the B&G of course).

Cons:

  1. It's all too drawn out and too late for my preference, i get bored and starving hanging around waiting for a proper meal, and by the time the meal is finally finished and the dancing finally starts, I'm exhausted and ready for bed!
  2. The mairie bit is boring, I much prefer U.K. weddings with a more personalised ceremony (whether civil or religious) and especially if the ceremony and reception are at the same venue. Mairie + church + reception all at different venues is a faff.
  3. Not as many fancy and interesting outfits as U.K. weddings
AnotherEmma · 10/08/2021 20:41

Oh and I forgot to add there's no wedding cake, it's traditional to have a pièce montée (croquembouche) instead.

skeemee · 10/08/2021 20:45

Here’s what everyone chucks themselves about to at a Scottish wedding.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=88NNMTmEY0g

luckylavender · 10/08/2021 20:51

There's a lot of food. Courses and courses. You eat for hours.

AnnaBegins · 10/08/2021 20:58

Everything @AnotherEmma said, plus the family and friends do various "choreo" or dance/song routines at the reception which they've prepared in advance, usually with costumes. Went to one recently where the bride's mum had dictated the groom's family could do only one, whereas the bride's family did several - such a scandal!

AnotherEmma · 10/08/2021 21:00

Oh god yeah we've had family and friends performing songs (not so much dancing or costumes) and it was all a bit crap and cringy tbh!

Silkiecats · 10/08/2021 21:03

The croquembouche is the French wedding cake, ours came in in the dark with sparklers all over it.

At ours and ones we have been to the outfits were far more stylish than at UK weddings but I think that's partly as DH knows wealthier people than me.

Silkiecats · 10/08/2021 21:09

Ours had friends producing songs / speeches about us and I also had to make some pasta in front of everyone. Sort of a more fun version of the best man speech but a bit difficult if you aren't very outgoing. And the friends also did funny poses for the wedding photos. Ours had non-stop photos but that may have been MIL being over-excited to have a wedding.

We also had events before and after with people round the house on days before and after but again that might be MIL.

Allthelights · 10/08/2021 21:32

Very interesting. And the Alexandrie Alexandra video has really cheered me up.

SiobhanSharpe · 10/08/2021 21:44

My cousin married a Frenchwoman and we all went to the legal ceremony at the mairie/town hall. (Paris suburb).
My DM was utterly shocked at the appearance of the mayor who conducted the ceremony, he was wearing a very grubby t-shirt and tatty black trousers and he was very unshaven, but he had a huge mayoral sash on over the T-shirt. Bizarre. He looked as if he had just rolled out of bed after a three-day bender.
The wedding guests were fairly formally dressed, though. Then we went back to the bride's family home for a meal, drinks, cake and much singing.

Silkiecats · 10/08/2021 22:26

It was also raining at ours for part of it inbetween sun and lots of people said to us rainy wedding, happy marriage.

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