We've gone on holiday by mistake

[couchparsnip]

I feel like Withnail and I..
It's pouring with rain and we're staying on a farm in a really shoddy barn conversion. The bedroom door doesn't fit the frame so it doesn't shut.
There's no lock on the bathroom door.
The bathroom is accessed through a kid's bedroom so we have to creep through to go in the night and then wake up a grumpy teen to shower in the morning.
Shower goes intermittently cold.
Oven doesn't work and we like to cook.
The double bed was pushed against the wall so we moved it to get access both sides - and the skirting board fell off!
The TV is a wall mounted one but it's not mounted, just resting against the wall.
No bedside table, nowhere to hang clothes and nowhere to eat except on trays(which we had to buy) or an outside patio (see previous grumble about the weather).
There are several electrical violations we can spot - not least the outdoor patio light is powered by an ordinary plug set up outside and getting wetter by the second!
When I mentioned some of this to the owner he said the bathroom door lock was off because someone's kid was 'acoustic' and they had to come off.
We're chalking it up to experience and reporting to the company we booked through.

Anyone had worse. Make me feel better!

Sounds like Fawlty Towers, good job you have a sense of humour OP, a holiday that will become a legendary tale for many years to come by the sound of things. I take it you won’t be booking up for next year?

@Suzy39

We stayed in an Air B & B last week that had a 'shower' which actually was an attachment over a bath under a sloped roof and was fixed at about 2.5m. Perfect for hobbits or toddlers. I had to flush the dead flies and woodlice down the plug before we stepped in and the tub was covered in a film of dirt. The garden was also covered in dog shit and at the bottom was someone's rubbish (old footspa, car parts, usual junk).

I went back to the reviews and only one comment remotely mentioned the 'attention to detail' the property was in need of. I can only assume the others had either really low standards or had stayed and been paid for a review.

The price was double what we would usually have paid too.

I stayed in a B&B like this, and got concussion from the shower. Actual, literal, non-metaphorical concussion.

Erk, we’re off on holiday in a couple of weeks! To a cottage on a farm 😬 Hope it isn’t this one…

On another note entirely, we have been inside the Withnail and I house! We went walking past there and were taking a photo over the fence, and the owner came outside and invited us in. He was in the process of doing it up. It’s a lovely spot, and he was a lovely chap - I’d think he’s finished by now and I hope he’s very happy there.

We also called our dog Monty specifically so we could use that quote…

LOL @Spudlet - poor Monty the dog!

Lukcily we haven't had any real holiday horrors. Our longest ever camping trip (4 or 5 nights) was in Normandy on a site some friends had stayed on the year before and had a glorious time in the sunshine. The days we were staying on the camp it rained. A lot. And as we don't have a huge car or a roof box, we really didn't have what was needed for that much rain, like wellies for example, or enough clothes given how wet and muddy they got. I cried a couple of mornings. It was saved by the fact we were with a bunch of mates, the rain wasn't constant and there was a dry barn to hang out it. But we have decided 3 nights is our absolute maximum for camping now.

I hope you get a full refund, OP. Sounds like an awful accommodation. Clearly looking to make a fast profit.

@Unsure33

I stayed in a hotel in Birmingham once . Bit worried when there were key codes to each door . I could not settle at all it just felt not right , cold damp and just unfriendly . Then early in the morning all I could hear was sirens so no sleep either .

When I went down to breakfast none of my friends were there and I found myself in the middle of a crime scene . All taped off as there had been a stabbing in the breakfast room . The police then escorted me out .

This was in the days before mobile phones as well so then found myself hunting all the coffee shops on my own to find my friends .

Not the best weekend away

Obviously not a naice part of Birmingham - there are some better areas

[quote BoffinMum]We had a terrible holiday in Italy 3 or 4 years ago, and it culminated in me moaning on here and discovering there was another utterly appalled and miserable Mumsnetter in a room a couple of doors down the corridor also moaning on here. We met up and spent the next few days together before they were going home. Fantastic family, brilliant fun, and we had a great time. It's now a Mumsnet Classic! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/2994102-Help-Epic-hotel-choice-failure[/quote]
I can remember reading that thread when it happened ! So funny and what a coincidence .

We managed to go on holiday to the wrong hotel. We’d chosen an area and then spent ages flinging the URL’s to various hotels at each other for discussion. What we wanted was a nice hotel in a flat area (mobility issues) for adults only - what we wound up with was a kids friendly hotel located on a hill so steep it might as well have been on the North face of the Eiger

Regarding reviews, I take comments about cleanliness, if there's only 1 or 2 amid great reviews, with a pinch of salt. If there's just a couple of comments along those lines I tend to read that as a reviewer who's extra fussy about cleanliness - there are some people who expect total immaculateness (it's a word... maybe) and will consider a bit of dust in a corner or a slightly chipped tile 'disgusting' whereas others (ie me) won't even notice.

@Harmonypuss we've had several holidays at Butlins Minehead between 2007-2012 and never had any problems with cleanliness . We did have an issue once when the heater came off the wall but they came out immediately and fixed it

I don't know whether you were unlucky, whether it improved since you went or whether we've just been lucky .

Pontins Brean Sands, on the other hand, as others have said - never again !!

Coincidence!
Watching an item on the French news about greedy holiday accommodation owners in Marseile area
Accommodation in building sites
Accommodation in property in the middle of renovation
Signs in the street saying to beware of pickpockets
Someone being told that the advertised 'large pool' was, in fact, the sea a few hundred meters away
The worst though was an appartment where the ceiling was held up by a couple of dozen accroprops that a family was supposed to dodge round

We had one at pontins.
There was supposed to be a double sofa bed,in the living room. What we got was trundle bed, about a inch off the floor, and the sofa to sleep on. The oven door fell off first time we went to use it, after buying a week's worth of food. We reported the door and got told someone would fix it. But what they didn't say was, it was the weekend and maintenance didn't work weekends. We complained second day about oven door not getting fixed and having to pay a fortune for food, on site. When we had food back at the apartment, that we couldn't cook. They did give us vouchers, but the place that accepted them was shut, the other place was reluctant to accept them, but when I said, we just got given them and why, they finally gave in after contacting reception. Luckily, once the oven was fixed and the roudy weekend, party people left it was OK. The Monday to Friday people we OK.
It was expensive on site, we spent more time off site, it was an expensive holiday. Which we had, brought a groupon for, but would not recommend 10 days.

I don't trust Airbnb - they delete all negative reviews - we have stayed in places where traffic has been a nightmare, location felt like an industrial estate and had other very obvious problem that no one had mentioned in the numerous 5 star reviews.

Love Withnail and I watch the docus as well they r great. Bruce Robinson joshing with E Grant
I remember I was 14 and for some insane reason my mother let me go on holiday with a 19 yr old family friend. Her fiance dropped us off in his sports car and my friend’s sewing of wild oats began .I was a virgin at 14 and would be motioning at the ring finger everytime she was in a clinch with some sweaty guy on the dancefloor. Anyway as we arrived the holiday company we travelled with had gone bust. People were being ferried from a cafe in a beetle to their accommodation so it was taking hours. People were coming back crying as there was a 60ft drop and a tramp in there building with the work not finished. The guy in charge fancied my friend ( looked like Danny Di veto) so our accommodation was actually not bad … but went into bathroom there was a gold toothbrush a joke? I think turns out we were sharing with a couple . American actress with a series of spandex outfits ( everything in her suitcase was the size of a napkin clothes wise) Her Arab travelling companion claimed he had the largest jacuzzi in London below Sam Fox’s flat and my friend was very welcome I remember. Anyway Luckily he paid for a hotel so they left only to be replaced by an English family with children. They wrote a series of notes around the flat for example this is our shelf in the fridge rather than speaking to us as if to pretend we weren’t there. Wishful thinking on both parts I’m sure. I remember driving around hairpin bends on a moped at night and dodging Greek waiters in Nightclub mode with T shirts on saying AIDS free on them as it was the late 80s . Danny De Vito was sniffing around my friend and then scurrying off everytime his wife was nearby so we got moved to a seedy room above a nightclub with no aircon and a vibrating floor . I could go to a series of escapades ( crashing moped into a hedge being wacked by an old woman in her night-dress with a giant pole from across a road but I remained intact what were my parents thinking?? We got an extra weeks holiday because of company gone bust no return flights that was a kind of bonus when your 14 as said friend had all the stress of sorting it.

All I can say is; never go to Lansagrotti.

An air of gloom settled in to my soul as the plain landed.

Worst holiday ever.

Also same for LA. (quite why movie stars live there is a mystery)

Got to share my trip from Hell! We stayed in a chain hotel in central London in the August heatwave 2018, as DH was taking part in the ride London charity bike race, huge event, so no others rooms available.
We checked in, to be told there was no Aircon but fans had been supplied.. it was hotter then the sun in there. Myself, DH, two daughters and a road bike . Windows opened about 2cm for safety as it was the 2nd floor . 1st night was just intolerable heat, and a train passing at window level every 30 mins. Middle of the night, in an act of desperation and survival DH used his bike tools to completely remove the windows! ( Single units metal frame with screws) Air at last! Slept ok, but I believe train passengers would have seen us all half boiled, spread eagled and dead to world as they passed - the curtains blew in! So next day (replaced the windows) was bike race prep, and explore the city.We returned to the sauna Lodge about 7pm shattered and wanting an early night to find a powercut and water out due to heat!? This meant the toilet flush didn't work. We sat with clenched bums for a good couple of hours waiting for the power and water before one of the girls needed a big job. Then the other daughter.. then me ! The shame! Full loo, In that heat :-( 11pm still no power ect so DH says he must sleep as his race was a 4am start. But room smells like a sewer. We found a 24hr Tesco and bought lots 2litre bottles of evian, and managed to use them to clear Hells toilet! DH leaves 4am, still no power.. I wake at 8am to find a flooded room, water gushing under the door to the hallway. Quite anxious,but slowly opened the door to see the water was coming from the opposite room. No answer on the door, so ran down to reception, then they ran up back up with me and he got into the room with a master key. Couple fast asleep in bed, in the flooded room, with all taps going full blast, water came back on in the early hours, they must have been trying the taps, and left them on! That was my worst trip ever, I think - we got a full refund, but that wasn't enough tbh! We do still laugh about it now though.

My favourite line from Withnail and I is
‘ scrubbers’ this is my boyfriend had a tourettes like urge to call this out to lovely Richard who was in a sunset streamed meadow taking a picture with his Ipad . I growled at my boyfriend don’t u dare and he has never forgiven me

Went on holiday with friends, my bedroom was the top half of a barn, I could see rats running up and down the beam above me all night, & we had a terrible storm one night, water and all sorts of creatures came in under the door and water dropped on me and my bed through the cieling - nightmare

Yellowlillies
So funny !
Tell me why Evian to clear the toilet . I tease u because my Scottish boyfriend boiled pasta with Evian when I first met him because he wouldn’t do London hard tap water I said who do u think you are Madonna.

We turned up to a family resort in Thailand our apartment was in the middle of a building site and to get to it we had to walk on a plank precariously balanced over an empty swimming pool. The view was the builders building the next apartment. Our complaint got us upgraded to the honeymoon suit, but we were still woken by building every morning.

Once again that oaf has ruined my day…

@GiveMeNovocain

One of the places we went to as kids was infested by fleas. My mum has to shower us all in dog shampoo when we got home and were still being bitten. She still swears she could see the bathroom mat move 🤢

It's probably the holiday we remember most! 😂

As children we went to a new holiday camp in Rhyl. We were standing outside the Office with all the luggage waiting for my Dad and Uncle to pay and get the keys. They came out and said there'd be a delay as they had to make the beds, my Mother and Aunt suggested that they could help but apparently 'make the beds' was a 1950s Ikea thing, a pile of wood and some screws! It's odd that it's things like that that make a holiday memorable, 60 years later.

It was all there was in 2litre bottles. extortionate! 🤣. We both wrapped our t-shirts around our heads ( so we wouldn't see!) and squeezed/ poured a bottle each at the same time as we were trying to replicate the amount of water to force the unmentionables away.. it actually worked!

Best mate and I went the USA when we were 21 and booked some Youth Hostels... but it America they're less 'basic' and more 'dodgy as hell' it seems. We checked into one in Chicago where my mattress sank in the middle completely, and the lounge had this huge, vacant drooling guy sitting there just staring at a flickering TV. There was also a janitor's sink in the corridor with the a note above it saying (and I quote, with original spelling) 'Do no erinate in sink'. We could hear the sound of car tyres squealing outside all night.

I found a nice B&B and booked us in there for the next two nights instead!

We’re also on holiday and it is feeling a bit meh. Scotland. To be fair the cottage is lovely, but the weather has been sideways rain since we arrived.

DH booked an Alpaca walk for DDs today. Got there and it was just a light drizzle, but 5 minutes in and it was torrential. The alpacas looked forlorn - mine was keeping up a low level bleating noise and they all looked drenched and positively murderous. I’ve never been wetter. We all had waterproof jackets and wellies but by the time we had finished we had to come back to the cottage for a warm bath and it’s bloody August!