Will - would you do anything to even things up or just split equally?

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Situation is well to do parents in their 80s have 2 daughters now in their 50s. Both married with 2 children each. Both the daughters and both the husbands had decent white collar jobs, not high earning professionals, but higher than average salaries.

Parents have offered both families lots of practical, but not financial help, over the years which is fine, the daughters never wanted or needed money, but appreciated the help.

All good, on the face if it very easy to split equally between the daughters, the grandchildren or a mixture.

However, DD1 was widowed young while her children were still teenagers. There was some life insurance and she earns enough to support herselfbut now nowhere near as comfortable as before. There will be much less available to support the grandchildren with e.g. a first car or a first home. Her husband has no parents so DGC won't inherit elsewhere.

DD2's husband has just had a large inheritance (six figures) from a "spinster" aunt and his parents are very wealthy. He has one sibling. So those DGC are very well placed for the future.

Would you be "fair" by splitting your legacy equally or would you see fair as weighting it in favour of the more "disadvantaged" DGC?

It's causing the couple some trauma in deciding what's right.

Have the grandparents actually passed away already? I wouldn't bother agonising over what to do until it actually comes to pass.

Or is the couple who are deciding what's right the grandparents? If I were them I'd split it equally and leave it up to the daughters to sort out if they felt it unfair.

Uneven splits of inheritance cause all kinds of issues. I’d split equally if I was the couple. It’s not up to them to even up because of external factors.

Split equally. It is entirely possible that other life events will more adversely affect the wealthier child. Not for parents to even up, better to treat their children equally.

I would split equally.

Equally

I would split things evenly. By trying to even things up they may cause damage to the relationships within the family

Even split. DD1 might win euromillions.

Definitely split equally . Any other way causes problems and I am sure the parents would not want their children to fall out .

Split equally always.

Equal spilt ANYTHING could happen in the future.

I’d stick to an equal split. An unequal split is just likely to lead to ill-feeling and resentment between the sisters when the will is distributed. All too often, because of the high emotions and grief at the time, these things descend into one sibling feeling that their lesser share reflects how much their parents loved them or felt about them, or that they made good choices and yet are being “punished” with a lesser share whilst their sibling who made less good choices is being “rewarded” for them.

Equally

Suggest they leave part to the daughters (split equally) but then also leave some to the grandchildren (also split equally) then it’s guaranteed that the younger generation will get something towards cars etc.

Unfortunately whatever you do in life nothing is fair. One of the less advantaged grandchildren could do on to be a lawyer or marry a wealthy partner. And as another poster said, one could win the lottery tomorrow. An equal split would seem the right thing to me.

Equally between the two daughters.

Split equally.

If it was my sibling, I'd probably give them some of the money to even things up. But this would be my choice and not come with any resentment.

I’m interested in this. My 2 dds are in a different world financially, primarily because one dds husband has benefitted greatly from inherited money and money from parents, whereas the other dds husband comes from a poor family and will inherit nothing. We have given dd2 money over the years, probably amounting to £15k, to help her buy her first house. We gave DD1 £5K when she bought her first house, but her in laws gave them £25k. There’s 10 years difference in age, and we only recently acquired more money so had much less when DD1 got married. DDs have different fathers - dd1s father is quite well off and she will benefit greatly when he passes away as she is his only child.
DD1 has a house worth 4x that of dd2, and their joint income is 6 x that of dd2+her dh.
My dh and I have mirror wills splitting everything 50/50 between the dds. (we’re not talking vast sums of money, maybe £200k each). I know that if I asked DD1 how she felt about dd2 receiving a bigger proportion, she’d say she was fine with it, but she may not actually be fine. Similarly if I asked dd2 how she felt about a 50/50 split she would say she’s fine.
I feel like I should sit down with them both and have an honest discussion. My DDs are very close, and I’d hate this to come between them.

Split equally. It is not up to this couple to try and compensate for things that happened way beyond their control, it is up to them to show their daughters that they have parents who love and value them equally. If one sister ends up wanting to help out the other financially then all good, but that’s up to her.

I have two sisters, three nephews/nieces between them and two children of my own.

My mum’s will was a straight “everyone is equal” split of her (very modest) estate between her three daughters. However, as one of those daughters had died that daughter’s inheritance passed to her child. She also left a tiny bequest to each of her 5 grandchildren.

The outcome of all this

• the (grown up) grandchild she knew least because he lived on the other side of the world his whole life, and who had already inherited substantial sums from both parents and a set of grandparents, inherited more than the two daughters who had cared for her in her last 10 years of life
• the grandchildren who would inherit nothing from anyone else got the same as the grandchildren who had already received 6-figure bequests from elsewhere
• the daughter who did most for her mother in the last years of her life and was substantially less well off than the other daughter ended up splitting her inheritance with her children to give them a tiny bit of a buffer. For the well-off daughter the bequest was nice but pretty irrelevant.

I loved my mum to bits, she was a fantastic woman, but as the less-well-off most-care-provided daughter in this scenario I still find it impossible not to resent this (even though I knew it was what was going to happen).

Equally every time, unfair on one to have to make it up to the other for something outside their control. The future could change for either of them.

speak to the daughters? Ask the wealthier daughter how she feels about a 60:40 split, or a 70:30 split?

or simply divide it equally among the grandchildren

Split equally. Give an equal split to grandchildren as well to provide for first car and lessons etc as well.

Equally. Who knows what will happen to the other daughter. She might divorce, and her ex re marry and give all his money to a new family or charity etc.
If the sisters get on then they will support each other if needed

Another saying split evenly.

Dd1 could remarry. Dd2 could hit financial problems. Dd1 could happily work to retirement. Dd2 could be hit by health issues and have to give up work early (or her dh could).

Treat them the same. Accept they are different people who have made different life choices and had different experiences, so the outcome won't be the same.

Equally between the daughters. If concerned about the grandchildren maybe a specific sum to each child