I just screamed at my baby

[DueyCheatemAndHow]

I'm not coping. Life is totally on top of me and I can't see how it will ever get better.

I'm absolutely desparate

Love, I'm sorry. Tell us what's up? X

Try to breathe, you are not alone;ok?

What specifically is causing you to feeling this way do you think?

Lack of sleep can be a killer
Lack of identity can be a killer
A crying baby can be a killer

There is so shame in asking for help or saying you are having problems

Hang in there, I hope youre ok

I'm on anti depressants they make no difference.

She won't shut up. I've just been fully sick I'm so anxious.

Are you able to tell someone you are not coping and need a break? A partner, a parent, a friend.

Just put the baby down somewhere safe and walk away if you need to (into the garden or another room).

Is it possible you have PND?
I was chaotic when I had PND and lack of sleep….was angry and shouted so much more than I ever had before. I found a local pandas group that was helpful for me.

Is there anyone that can help you? How old is baby?

Why won’t the baby stop crying? Is she hungry? Does she need a nappy change? A hug?

I’ve got one like this it can be hell it’s not just you and it’s not just your baby how old ?

My dh says I am coping.

I want to get in my car and drive it into a wall.

Is there someone there - a partner? If there isn’t is there someone you can phone to come over?

When did you start the anti depressants?
Is anyone else available right now close by?
By shut up I’m assuming the baby is crying?

Put her in the cot so she's safe and go into another room and take a deep breath and try to calm down. Is there someone else who can see to her while you have some time to calm down?

Please know that you’re not alone or bad or crazy. The baby stage is so so hard. But in the kindest possible way it sounds like you need to seek some further help - do you have family or friends support? Can you talk to your go? I was scared off talking about my severe PND and PNA by my mother but in reality they would not have “taken my baby away” and I would’ve learned better coping skills and been kinder to myself if I’d have opened up about my struggles to professionals. My dc is 6 now and I still regret how i felt during her early years. Keep talking, keep your head up, do you have anyone who can be with you right now to give you a break if you’re sick?

@DueyCheatemAndHow

My dh says I am coping.

I want to get in my car and drive it into a wall.

Please don’t. This is only temporary and will get better. I felt exactly the same way at points.

You need to put the baby in their cot, walk outside and call anyone who can come support you.

GP not go!

That's tough.

Call anyone you can for a break - if anyone I knew, however little, told me they needed help in this situation I would come over and hold the baby for a bit while you went for a walk/ had a bath/ whatever.

Tomorrow, will you phone your GP and tell them how you're feeling?

Slightly longer term, can your DD go to childcare at all (even if it's earlier than you anticipated, perhaps while you're still on mat leave) so you have breaks during the day?

If you have a partner tell them how you feel

X

Make sure baby is safe, fed and clean etc and put them in their cot

Breathe, shower, scream into a pillow, do something to make you feel better.
You matter too

The baby stage is fucking hard and the relentless crying can break the strongest person

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, OP. I've been there - it's absolutely awful. I found this helpline to be an absolute life saver. Please call them - they are wonderful people and they understand postnatal difficulties and stress. They will talk to you for as long as you need

pandasfoundation.org.uk

@pinkcircustop. Why won’t the baby stop crying? Is she hungry? Does she need a nappy change? A hug? Really?! I'm sure the OP has checked these!!!

Op how old is the baby could she/he be teething maybe have wind ?

Lay your baby in the cot where he/she is safe . Shut the door and go in the kitchen and make yourself a hot drink. And drink it. Baby is safe I know the baby screaming sounds stressful but the baby is safe and not in danger. But you need to give yourself 5/10 mins breathing space.

Have you tried taking baby out for a walk in the pram ?

Breathe. We all go through this. I promise. Just go into another room. Call someone. They won't judge you. Just tell them how you feel.

Sweetie, do you have anyone you can call to come over and help you, and take the baby for a while?

Talk to your partner this eve - can you call them now? Tell him you're not coping! You should know - don't let him tell you you're coping if you're not.

And ring a friend or Samaritans to talk things though - please don't do anything drastic. Your family, friends and baby will be distraught.

And keep posting on here.

Baby down in cot, sit outside for 10 minutes and breathe. Sending hugs OP ❤ Agree with others, call someone, friend/family. Tomorrow morning make an appointment to speak to the GP, tell them you are desperate.
I have been in your position, it's hard going. Thing will get better, I promise. X

I second making sure baby is fed and safe, then leaving them in a safe cot whilst you go to another room. Call someone to come round and watch baby and you go and have some time to yourself. Maybe a glass of wine in a warm bath? Or leave the house and have a change of scenery for an eve?

Been there and it’s horrible, but you can and will get through this. Do you have any friends or family you can turn to?

Get yourself some ear plugs or headphones so the crying doesn’t trigger you - the endless screaming used to tip me over the edge. If you can see them and you know they’re safe / fed then you can ignore the crying if you’re that on edge.

I really feel for you. It took me several different changes of antidepressants to find one that really helped me but the main thing was time passing, dd getting older and me going back to work just to get out of the house.

My GP prescribed citalopram but I'm on a v low dose. He says this is normal.

I'm sorry. You're all asking great questions but I'm just empty.

She has been sick, then fed then fell asleep for a minute then is crying again.

She deserves so much better. I shouted at my 3 year old today.

My first was like this.

Put her in her cot, go downstairs and have a moment to yourself. Make yourself a cup of tea.

Ten minutes of crying won’t harm her and she won’t remember you screaming at her.

Your partner needs to let you have a couple of hours to yourself when he gets in every single night. It was the only thing that got me through. Sometimes I’d walk out as soon as he got in without a word and just go and get a coffee in a quiet cafe.

This is a phase. Baby won’t remember and you and partner might even be able to laugh about it in a few years xxx