DC3 is dairy intolerant. He’s now 6, and showing no signs of tolerating it anytime soon. So don’t stress if you’re being pressured to keep trying the milk ladder. I was told to give it a proper break for 6 months then try gradually again. I BF until he was 2.5, so I was dairy free that long too (weighed the least I’d ever been with no chocolate or fizz!) but ended up on 40mg of citalopram when I finally stopped BF, it had taken that much out of me. Four years later and I’m finally down to 10mg with a plan to be offf them in a few months.
Your serotonin levels are totally depleted and you will need a long time on a decent enough dose to top them up again. When you start feeling like yourself again, you need a minimum of six months more at that dose to keep topping your levels up and helping your body take over making enough for your needs again.
It takes so long to diagnose a dairy intolerance sometimes in babies, especially if BF, as the symptoms might not be as severe. I remember well the kicks and struggles he had in the night, screaming at me as if to say what’s wrong with me, FIX IT MUMMY!!! I used to feel so useless.
I’d say give yourself a break for now and pack your baby’s diet with as many of the dairy alternatives that you can. You can try the milk ladder again when you feel mentally / emotionally stronger, but for now you need to fix yourself. Tesco / Asda etc all have plenty of dairy free fromage frais / yogurt alternatives, flora original is DF, Elmlea do a great DF cream alternative for cooking etc.
Good luck, and it might not feel like it now, but it does get easier.