Do you ever remember something your parents did when you were growing up and feel annoyed?

[RosieLemonade]

My mum would never ever pick me up on a night out, from a train station, from university etc. Every other parent I have known has done pick ups and drop offs. Me and my sister would have to walk an hour every Friday and Saturday night after working 9 hour shifts. I would never make DD get a bus after a 4 hour train journey (with a walk between station and stop). My mum was a good mum in lots of ways but this still annoys me years later!

I was the peri menopause accident when they thought they were done with parenting. Dad worked really hard and way past retirement age to provide for a family but they could never be bothered to do anything fun if it didn’t involve sitting down. I try very hard to make sure my similarly conceived son has a different experience.

Both argued all the time, for hours until I would inevitably start crying. Then there was a race between them to be the first one to say “look, now you have made Sinister cry” and even at 7yo I knew I was just a pawn in their argument.

I had to buy my own sanitary towels out of my pocket money. I was never given any hugs or kind words from my mum.I think she loved us, she just didn’t show it.
I sometimes wonder why some couples bothered to have children.

Then, having to be my DMs confident when she divorced at 10 yo. She carried on with this once the divorce went through and went on to tell me graphic details about her sex life with her boyfriends. Waking up to the sound of her giving her boyfriend Chinese burns at 2am in the middle of my GCSEs. Meanwhile my Dad refused to accept it was over and became aggressive anytime she wasn’t single. They were both very young when they had me, and definitely not ready for family life, but age hasn’t really mellowed them. They remain both too volatile for relationships, my DM comes across as sweet but has actually ruined lives.

Not allowed to lock bathroom door as a teenager. Dad expected to be able to get in even if I was in the bath.

@Wrenegade

So many things. From the age of 11 I was asked to order or buy my own birthday/Christmas presents, with the pretence that my parents would transfer the money for the gifts, that never happened.

As a younger child I was asked to clean the cars and do a large amount of house work for pocket money that I was never given.

Parents would never attend parents evenings or let me go on school trips, other parents thought there was something odd about the family and I often felt left out by other kids. Wouldn’t pick me up from school, the teachers created a rota to wait with me every evening

Wow this is truly abhorrent. I'm so sorry.

My mother went abroad to visit her family for three weeks when I was 14. I was expected to do all the washing for the family in a twin tub when she was away. My father promised me a skirt I really really wanted as a reward. Needless to say, that was all forgotten when my mother returned...

Being sent to bed at 7pm until well into my teens because they didn’t want me around.

Father lost his temper and hacked off my hair with a carving knife because I was sucking my hair.

Threatening to kill my cat in vicious ways to upset me for his amusement. Etc

Never allowed a sleep in, even during teenage years when we needed more sleep

Bed time at 7.30 without fail, we could hear the neighbourhood kids playing out in the summer, ugh

Being dropped off to do the grocery shop while she went off to do more interesting things frequently

Chores, chores and more chores. No wonder I’m such a slovenly person now

PizzaPiePizzaPie

I got the same thing

Just generally doing mean stuff to us for the fun of it. Eg, my sister caught lice from school so instead of treating it they shaved her head and vacuumed them off. My sister and I had one nice jacket (that I had found) between us to wear for school free dress day so my step mother threw it out because we “wore it too often."
Never let us have any money we had been given as gifts. Many things.

Would send us all to the garden in the summer holidays so they could have sex and then my dad would ask me to take a cup of tea up to my mum, who would be in bed with her sheets pulled up to clearly hide her nudity. So weird.

Would both use me to vent to. Especially my mum. She treated me like her best friend and would tell me stuff that really fucked me up at the time. Like how my dad anally raped her the previous night and I'd then have to go to school feeling so alone because how could I console in my friends over that!

Oh and the violence too. I saw some horrible shit and honestly feared for my mum's life. I begged her to leave him so many times (and once she did but then went back) and almost stopped myself from moving out because I was scared for her. My older sister told me that there is literally nothing keeping her there and it's not my responsibility to worry for her safety. I did move out and three years later he died. I did feel some relief at that.

I still have a lot of anger at my mum too which I keep hidden because she couldn't handle home truths. Honestly she would have another breakdown.

We went on holiday to Greece when I was 13 or 14. There was a village festival one night and I was being chatted up by this 21 year old Greek guy on military service and my parents just let me go off with him, and treated it as a massive joke.

Luckily, he was perfectly sweet and affectionate and we just had a snog (and he sent me a really cringey, smitten letter afterwards , but I look back and think “WTAF were you thinking?!”

This is alongside a long history of low level neglect. As an adult I have come to realise that my mum struggles with empathy, and that my dad actively dislikes me.

Oh god my parents were similar @crackofdoom

We went on holiday to Turkey when I was about fifteen and I had all these pervy men surrounding me and for some reason my parents found it absolutely hilarious

I don’t know what mine were thinking, whether they all just thought it was a big joke, but I remember finding it so stressful, and then being ranted at for not wanting to come out of the hotel room. I look back and think, well of course I didn’t!

@RosieLemonade

My mum would never ever pick me up on a night out, from a train station, from university etc. Every other parent I have known has done pick ups and drop offs. Me and my sister would have to walk an hour every Friday and Saturday night after working 9 hour shifts. I would never make DD get a bus after a 4 hour train journey (with a walk between station and stop). My mum was a good mum in lots of ways but this still annoys me years later!

Fucking hell my mother didn't have a car. Couldn't afford one.

What a deprived child hood you had. If that's all you've got to moan about you're luck.

You can only speak of what you know ActonSquirrel. My mother didn't drive but my dad did and we always had a car; he never stirred himself to pick me up from anywhere either but my friends' parents did. At the time that was hurtful and very much noticed by others.

Nobody is pretending it is terrible deprivation and whatever your circumstances there will always be people worse off - and better off.

Saying, "You were lucky to have a car at all!", is like telling someone with a broken leg they are fortunate not to have broken both legs. Pointless.

Some awful stories on here - so sorry to you all.

Mine is so minor in comparison. I wanted to be good at ONE thing. Every time I got 'spotted' as having talent, my mum insisted i try a new different sport. She still believes now it's better that I did lots of things rather than concentrate on one.

I wanted to excel. I wanted to win trophies. I never got to really win anything. I excelled in tennis as a young adult and got told lots of times what a waste I hadn't played properly as a kid. I honestly feel like I never amounted to anything in anything.

The really annoying thing, my daughter now excels in one sport - and my mum really supports this now. She admits though it was because she didn't want to be driving me around constantly like I do for my daughter.

Some of these are a lot more than annoying! So sorry to read about what people went through.
Mine is how my DM would put me on endless diets as a teen, even though I wasn’t overweight & actually when I look at photos now I had a really good figure. Wish I could have appreciated that then but I hated my body & would stick bits of paper on my wardrobe door with quotes like “ You are ugly”, “ You have massive thighs”, “ 9 stone is disgusting”. It’s a miracle I didn’t end up with an eating disorder. I am overweight now but have a healthy relationship with food, no thanks to DM. I always thought she was undiagnosed anorexic 😢

I was never picked up and walked through areas where my dad, brother and family friend had been attacked. My sad had a car but never bothered. My dad always seemed angry about my existence and let me know regularly. If I knew something he didn’t he’d say ‘oh yes I forgot you are a fucking expert in everything!’ He talked to me like shit and if I dared speak during a program in telly he’d shout and roar at me to shut up but if my mum or brother spoke then he didn’t react. He was never around, work, pub or bed was his default position. As a functioning alcoholic and both parents heavy smokers we never had much money. I was teased about my unfashionable clothes and glasses and still struggle to accept that I’m attractive now and have awful self esteem. I never had any pocket money so had to save my lunch money to go out at weekends, if I ever asked for money I got told no and my mum acted like I’d shat in her handbag. Once I started earning money as a teen ALL parental help stopped, I had to buy all my clothes, shoes and toiletries. I had no decent winter shoes or coat most years in Scotland where it’s wet and freezing a lot. I remember trudging from the station in leaky shoes.

@Collidascope

The boring things we had to do at weekends. It amazes me when I see the effort parents now go to to entertain their kids - things the kids will actually enjoy: soft play, swimming and petting zoos and stuff. I remember being resentful that after a week at school, our weekends consisted of tedious things like church, antique fairs, going to visit dreary relatives, or clothes shopping for my mum. It's made me extremely protective of my free time. I really resent having to do dutiful things I won't enjoy.

Oh yes.

Our weekends centre around doing things for the children (albeit things that aren't too tedious for us!), like going to the beach, children's events at country parks, woods, playgrounds, farms etc.

Whereas when I was a child, every Saturday morning was a trip to town to pay the bills and every Sunday was a supermarket trip to do the weekly shop, interspersed with boot fairs and antiques fairs.

Though tbf, I wish that was the worst of their sins.

And actually I disagree with a PP that you later learn your parents are human and you should forgive their sins.

Despite living with the aftermath of having alcoholic parents, there's no way on earth I'd treat my DC like parents did me. I'm definitely not perfect but I try my hardest to not be like them.

I'm actually a bit at some PPs' perceptions of their childhoods.. "I had an amazing childhood/I couldn't have asked for better parents but... [insert story of mental/emotional abuse].

Drunk driving and smoking like chimneys while me and DB were in the car. This was in the 70s so probably not that shocking back then

10 years old stood with my suitcase after a week long school trip, all the other children’s mums were there excited to see their kids after their first ever trip away except mine. I stood there with my case watching everyone being greeted and chatting excitedly and leaving with their parents, the coach drove off and I was told there alone. I started to drag my suitcase as best I could and walk home alone.

12 years old first trip abroad with the school, France for 10 days on an exchange, get back to the school 10pm at night, same thing everyone’s parents are there but mine. A neighbour whose son was on the trip with me waited with me thinking my parents would turn up eventually..
they didn’t. Neighbour took me home and had a go at my parents for being neglectful... my mum had a go at me as soon as the neighbour left for causing trouble.

I remember having a doll's pram, quite an elaborate one that looked like a 'real' one only smaller. I had to take it out with my mum when she went shopping. She met somebody she knew and was talking, my mind was elsewhere and the pram went out into the road and upended. All the traffic stopped, one driver thought there was a real baby in it.

My mother was so cross with me for letting it go but I was only four and had no idea about brakes and things, apart from the fact that I was excruciatingly embarrassed about pushing it around in public. The way she carried on you would have thought I'd pushed it into the road and I didn't.

Afterwards she said, "I wanted to put my shopping in your pram!".

I never went out with it again or played with the thing, hated it.

Never heard ‘I love you’ from either parent
Got left to entertain myself for the summer holiday because mum couldn’t be arsed to take us anywhere-she was a teacher.
Dad rolled in during the early hours very often shit faced with his team (very sociable job, lots of boozing involved). Mum allowed this and STILL thinks she did the right thing. Other wives refused to allow them to disrupt the kids that way.
Left me home alone with a bully elder brother who would punch me then leave. Once, I broke my arm falling off my bike. Luckily, a relative phoned and got my parents back from the pub. I needed stitches and to have the arm re-set under GA.
Got told off for needing the loo so often so ended up peeing on the bedroom floor. Maybe I should have been taken to the doctor?

@memberofthewedding Your nan sounds awsome!