Do you ever remember something your parents did when you were growing up and feel annoyed?

[RosieLemonade]

My mum would never ever pick me up on a night out, from a train station, from university etc. Every other parent I have known has done pick ups and drop offs. Me and my sister would have to walk an hour every Friday and Saturday night after working 9 hour shifts. I would never make DD get a bus after a 4 hour train journey (with a walk between station and stop). My mum was a good mum in lots of ways but this still annoys me years later!

Lots of things but 2 that stick out.
Not letting me go to my classmates parties if they were discos.
And not letting me go to sixth form college but insisting I stayed at the school sixth form. I wanted to do English, history and French. But my school didn't offer history or French. So just had to choose which a levels they did offer (which wasn't alot).

We used to get bollocked for talking during meals. Apparently it wasted time and in addition I think my father thought it was decadent.

So instead we got to listen to him slurping, smacking his lips, chewing with his mouth open, burping and, eventually, licking his plate. All done in a grimly joyless and aggressive way.

He was a weird bad tempered violent fucker anyway but that particular rule was just fucked up.

Yes I also couldn't go to discos @motheroreily. Miserable old bastard didn't have any friends therefore had no fucking idea what a party actually was and somehow equated the word "disco" with "debauchery", even when it was a bunch of 13 year olds doing Agadoo to Kevin's Mobile Sound System with their mums watching.

Smacking our bottoms. Didn't happen often but totally pointless- I don't remember a single thing that led to it, I just remember being upset and scared.

My mum would eat my Easter eggs so I either had to eat them fast or stash them in a good hiding spot. She’d borrow my birthday or Christmas money and not pay it back so I had to try and hide that too.

My mum prioritised her pets over her kids. The dozen or so ponies got regular twice daily feeding, on time every single day. They were bought brand new, properly fitting rugs and shoes on a regular basis. DSis and I were not. Groceries in the kitchen were sparse and if DM wasn't hungry, she wouldn't be making dinner. Microwaved frozen peas and sweetcorn in a bowl was my go to meal. Clothes were our friends or mum's friends cast offs (meaning that the clothes were often adult size when we were skinny young 13 year olds). Folding jeans over across the tummy and fixing with a plastic belt was my solution for a while. It's a shame because we weren't actually poor. DSis and I just lost out because we don't have a mane and tail.

When I was in my teens she made me share a bed with my brother who was 7 years older than me when we were on holiday.

This was after I told her he had sexually abused me when I was little.

That my sister was allowed to relentlessly verbally/psychologically abuse me and neither parent defended me to the point that she still does it to this day and I get told not to spoil things through self defence.

Even if I no show to a family event because I am VLC and can't bear her behaviour - I still get guilted, it still ME "spoiling it" not HER

She would never let me sleep past 11 at the weekends when I was staying there even if I had been out till 4 was outside my room with a Hoover come 11to get me up , I vowed would never do this with my teens and have not mind you I probably annoy them other ways 🤣

We were also expected to fit in with what adults wanted to do at weekend, and in a way, I think modern kids are slightly spoiled by this constant need to entertain them. Good games were invented bored.

Gave up on looking after me from the age of about 9.

My parents would tell me I was too fat (I wasn’t) from 15 onwards and my father would involve my younger brothers in making jokes about my ‘fat arse’ and even kick it regularly as a ‘joke’.

He’s a misogynist of the worst kind and I see my mother as a traitor of the worst kind too for allowing this to happen and even taking part in the body shaming. NC with both of them but still have lots of confidence issues.

Not allowing my dad to pick me up on occasions I was travelling on my own/in the dark (but picking older large brothers up). Frankly I am appalled now as an adult. I would then get a row for not getting the bus that dropped me right outside the house (it didn’t run in the evenings) so I had to walk through a park at night to get home. It was so dangerous and I remember being scared.

My birthday was the week before my mums. I would say get £10 birthday money. She would present me with a birthday shopping list for hers totalling £20.

Total disregard for my feelings. I had a friend who died suddenly when I was a teenager and my mum was so not bothered.

My mum used to steal money from me that I earned from my paper round. I went out for two hours, six days per week carrying a heavy load around whilst juggling school work and exams. She would wear my clothes and use my toiletries that I bought for myself too and never apologise. I felt aggrieved as nothing was ever mine. She didn’t work so slept all day and smoked weed and drunk in secret, but I now know it was because she was a depressed alcoholic. It was miserable in my house so I left at 17 and never looked back.

When my sister was born I was 7 years old and very jealous. Im sure I was badly behaved but i dont believe that excuses the dirty trick my patents played on me. They told me that they didnt love me any more an that they were "putting me in a home". A "man with a van" was coming to collect me on saterday. I was totally convinced. I saw my mother drop a very distinctively marked postcard into the post box saying she had written to the home.

On the saterday they made me put on my best dress and wait for the "man". I van recall sitting on a stool by the door and crying for hours waiting for the man to appear. Eventually my mother told me that if I promised to be "a really good girl" I might be able to persuade my father to "get around the man to take some other naughty little girl".

For the next year or so I remained convinced. Then one day I came across one of these unusual postcards and recognized the logo. It was for Football Pools which my parents did every week. Long before the internet or the lottery people used to pick out a series of football teams that they believed would win and there were prizes.

I never forgave my parents for the psychological torture that they caused to an 8 year old child. When I taxed them with it they thought it was a joke.

Somehow I dont believe social services would agree now.

@HappyBirthdayMrPresident you were lucky you were allowed to sleep until 11. I distinctly remember the one time I slept past 9 o clock as a teen my DF coming in and shouting at me to wake up. Was discussing with DM yesterday apropos DS15 sleeping in and of course she has no memory of DF not letting me sleep in.

Mind you compared to some of these stories, it's nothing.

My mum used to steal money from me that I earned from my paper round. I went out for two hours, six days per week carrying a heavy load around whilst juggling school work and exams. She would wear my clothes and use my toiletries that I bought for myself too and never apologize

This happened to me as well! I was taken to see my grandmother every second sunday and on each visit she gave me money. My mother used to promise to "put it away" for me but she just added it to the very small family budget. When my grandmother found out she was very angry. She stopped giving me money and opened up a post office account in my name instead. When I was old enough she transferred to me and advised me to keep it hidden.

When I began work at 16 my mother used to go through my purse and my drawer looking for money to "borrow". She also checked my wardrobe to make sure I had not bought any new clothes. I was paid by bank transfer and when all my documents and cheque book arrived she opened the envelope saying she had the right to open "any letter which comes to this house".

Every penny I gave my mother for my "keep" went onto the back of my golden princess sister to keep her in frilly dresses and lace topped socks. I had been sent to school in skirts from army surplus and shoes with cardboard in the soles to cover the holes.

On my grandmothers advice I opened an accommodation address in one of the local shops and had all my post sent there. So my parents never knew how much I earned. I kept all my spare money in my grandmothers house and also my best clothes and jewellery. I had about 4 dresses in my locker at work. I went out in the same scruffy old dresses and changed when I got into work.

My grandmother was a very wise woman and showed me how to use money as a weapon against my grabby parents.

The list is endless, seriously, if I started I wouldn't stop.

Never took me out to do anything child friendly, no weekend activities.

Had shit boyfriends around all the time, and I spent my weekends completely bored at their houses too.

Never picked me up from school. Was not a distance I should have been walking.

Never bought enough food.

No birthday or Christmas presents/or very minimal/no thought.

They just didn't have any awareness of us as individuals. I'm mainly talking about my mum here. (My dad wasn't involved much)
Didn't let us wear fashionable clothes, do normal teenage things like watch TOTPs, or buy the presents we really wanted. Instead just getting us stuff she thought we should like.
Made me get confirmed in church when I'd already said I didn't want to.
Did belittle me sometimes but I think that was more being tactless than nasty. On the whole she was quite loving.

We did get hit with the belt or the slipper sometimes by my dad, but I don't really remember those incidents.

When I was nine I sat my cycling proficiency test. I failed it and my mother grabbed the front of my face in her fist and twisted it. She also hit me round the head with a trainer for failing an exam at school.

I sometimes worry that I've let my kids down by not pushing them academically, but I'd hate them to feel that they couldn't tell me they'd failed something because they'd be beaten.

Endless lectures at mealtimes from my DF. He can't let anyone else speak and he drones on about whatever topic he wants to talk about. Still does it today and it's so fucking controlling and boring.

I had a part time job (Thursday evening and all day sat) when I was 16 and my friend worked at the same place. I remember them being livid that my friend's mum would pick us both up and would drop me off on their way home. They were angry that they were being "forced to reciprocate with lifts" and that I should walk an hour back through a fairly rural area.

In the end my friend's mum used to give me a lift and told me just to say I had walked home.

Like a PP we had endless trips to B&Q or Carpetright where we were left in the car. Even when I turned 14 I still had to go along as my Dsis is much younger than me and I had to look after her.

I had a secret calendar on the back of my wardrobe door where I counted down the days till I could escape to college.

Now they live 350 miles away from me so it is easy to be low contact.

Ignoring the really bad stuff…

Things like refusing to drive me to school activities. We lived rurally and there was no public transit. I’d have to beg rides from other kids parents, but often none in the group lived anywhere near us so it would be 20km out to their way to come pick me up. I can’t imagine what those parents thought.

Kept making us young child size portions of food even when we were fully grown. My sibling and I both would lose several pounds if we couldn’t avoid only eating what my mother cooked for a weekend. (Do note that as actual adults we addressed this issue by taking over the cooking during visits as much as possible, to “give mom a rest”)

Always smoked when she cooked. Yuk

Nothing terrible. I had a pretty nice upbringing. However... they insisted on 'practical' clothing right until my teens. The turning point was when DM picked me up from a party and saw how I stood out like a sore thumb in comparison to my friends. They then went completely the other way and gave me money to buy my own clothes. This wasn't really enough for the basics so I bought lots of very skimpy clothing so I had enough within the budget, which they let me wear without batting an eyelid. I wouldn't let either of my DC out of the house wearing what I wore then!