Feel so down dh died 4 weeks ago this week

[blackheartsgirl]

I know its inevitable but feeling it terribly today. Kid free day today, we'd have been up the coast driving, walking or going out for the day, last night we'd have cooked tea for ourselves and gone for a pint in a pub.

Now everythings pointless, I'm alone, laying in bed, I'm lost and heartbroken. Friends are busy with families, my own mother is useless and I have no other family.

I miss him so so much. Even the little things like being made a cuppa in the mornings. Noone makes me one now.

I am so sorry for your loss.

No words will ease your pain. But I am sending you love and hugs.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Might it be worth looking for online groups for people who have shared the same experience?

I already have. There's one I'm on on Facebook and it's very supportive but sometimes it depresses me further.

I've joined WAY and I'm waiting for access to the Facebook group but that's not forthcoming.

Nothing at all will fill that void. I used to love being on my own sometimes. Now I hate it

Can't imagine how tough it is for you OP, especially being alone with your thoughts.

.

I'm so sorry OP. Your posts really moved me I hope your WAY access comes through quickly as they have a great reputation as a support space. Don't be afraid to ring Samaritans either on 116 123. I know Samaritans is associated with suicide prevention but it's a good place to just have a chat and offload without any pressure and they will signpost you to other organisations.

It's very early days for you @blackheartsgirl
It's normal to feel like you do.

So sorry for your loss

You just keep going OP, minute by hour by day.
I found WAY fantastic, the support is from peers and really helped me.
But it isn't easy and there is no quick fix, just keep going any little by little it gets easier to cope with, and bits of enjoyment find there way back into your life.

It's unbearable. It goes beyond sad. I physically ache, my stomachs in knots.

If one more person in real life tells to stay strong I swear I'll go mad.

I’m so sorry Op.

If one more person in real life tells to stay strong I swear I'll go mad.

OP you do not need to stay strong - you are allowed (and indeed it will help your MH) to fall apart and just cry and cry for a bit. I'm 15 years down this road - I was widowed at 32 - it will get easier I promise. You won't cry forever but for now let yourself feel these emotions

@blackheartsgirl i can completely empathise with what you are feeling! I have been through this although under different circumstances. The times when you are on your own with no distractions are absolutely horrendous. You literally have to get through it hour by hour! I know its the last thing you want to do but try and do little acts of self care to distract yourself, have a bath, read a magazine, go for a walk. I know that it really doesn't feel like it but you will eventually get used to and learn to accept this new normal. I know it changes nothing for you but im thinking of you op.

So sorry for your loss , I totally understand , I lost my partner of 28 years last Oct , it may not seem like it now but it will get better , some days are harder than others , grief can still hit you out of nowhere but it will lessen , I can now smile when a memory pops up on my phone instead of feeling like I've been punched in the stomach, all you can do is take it one day at a time and ride the wave , remember to look after yourself too , it's so hard but honestly it will get easier x

I'm so very sorry for your loss

OP I’m so sorry. I hope WAY come through soon.
You don’t have to ‘stay strong’ its ok to feel weak and broken.
Sending love ❤️
I have no words to make you feel better, but reach out, vent, cry, anything and we’ll all be here to listen and support

@NinetyNineRedBalloonsGoBy

If one more person in real life tells to stay strong I swear I'll go mad.

OP you do not need to stay strong - you are allowed (and indeed it will help your MH) to fall apart and just cry and cry for a bit. I'm 15 years down this road - I was widowed at 32 - it will get easier I promise. You won't cry forever but for now let yourself feel these emotions

Absolutely agree

Oh lovey, I really feel for you. I can’t imagine what you must be going through.

But he kind to yourself. No one expects anything else. Just take it minute by minute.

We are all here for you @blackheartsgirl, always here for support and to listen xx

Yes please keep posting here OP if it helps you

and love to you

I moved his shoes..3 pairs from the shoe rack by the front door yesterday. I felt awful but they were upsetting me so much

Felt like I was tidying him away.

My mum..oh you'll be alright in a couple of weeks, you were only with him for 3 years I was with your dad 30 years..I'm surprised you are still down.

Which made me question do I have a right to grieve so hard?

So I'm trying to hide how I feel to everyone.
Not good is it.

That was properly shitty of your mum to say that, unforgivable in my opinion. Of course you have the right to feel the way you do. Don’t let her twatty words make you feel you don’t, fuck being strong too! Feel how you feel and don’t fight it. Sorry for your loss OP, I can’t begin to imagine your loss

I get it. I'm so sorry. I'm also sorry you have to deal with people trying to minimise your grief.
What you feel is what you feel. There are no rules or time limits.
I'm surprised WAY have taken a while to respond, they are usually pretty quick. Is there a mismatch between your Facebook name and the name you joined in?