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Original poster

Need a new car but DH won't do anything about it...

56 replies

3acrosstheback · 31/07/2021 08:24

Not sure what I need, advice, a place to vent, don't know.

In a nutshell, last year we got a new car, a really really fancy new car that cost a lot of money. It's one DH has lusted over for a long time and after lots of research etc we got it. I don't really care that much but it's nice enough. Not what I'd choose but I'm not bothered and was happy for the money to be spent.

Then I discovered I was pregnant with number 3, totally unexpectedly. Immediately upon finding out I said we'd need a different car as we need something more practical. I want a car that fits 3 car seats across the back, which the current car doesn't.

DH made unenthusiastic noises and basically hasn't agreed to buy a new car. He hasn't said no, but I haven't been able to make any progress with it.

The baby is due in 6 weeks time Shock and we haven't got a car that fits all of our children!

I don't want to go out and buy a car myself, I could as I have access to money but we've always treated money as joint money and made every decision as a joint decision. We also don't need 2 cars and we're trying to move house so ideally I'd like to sell our current car and buy a different, more suitable one. We could buy 5 suitable cars if we sold the unsuitable one Hmm

I know this seems like a stupid problem but I really just am at a loss. Confused how do I make him understand this is actually got to happen, even if it means getting rid of his dream car?

OP posts:
NewIdeasToday · 31/07/2021 08:26

Surely you just need to sit him down and talk about it. How does he think you’re all going to get around? Ask if he’s happy to do all the driving needed for the older two (nursery drop offs etc) while you stay home with the new baby for twelve months?

EnjoyingTheSilence · 31/07/2021 08:27

If you can afford it just get the car you need

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 31/07/2021 08:27

I’d just buy the second car. Let him walk home and see it on the drive.

It’s not like he hasn’t had enough notice!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3rd trimester Baby & toddler products Driving & parking General pregnancy
SisterGabriel · 31/07/2021 08:27

Research the best car for your needs, find one to actually buy and tell him to come with you to buy it. Part-exchange the current car. If he dithers, ask him what his plan is for fitting the kids in. No plan? Go without him. Take control.

Original poster
3acrosstheback · 31/07/2021 08:28

I've tried a few times but he doesn't really seem to 'get' it Confused

He can be quite stubborn and a bit stuck on one idea, I'm fairly happy to go with the flow so just let him get on with it but on this I can't seem to get him to understand.

I'll try speaking to him again today.

OP posts:
IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 31/07/2021 08:28

Ask him flat out yes or no do you intend to sell this car and get one that fits all our children or do you think we should drive round with one in the boot?

Then tell him that since he doesn't seem to want to do anything, you will sell the car and buy a more suitable one and ask him for the documents.

I mean, he's agreed the car needs changing so he can hardly complain if you deal with it, can he?

I think if you do that you'll discover that he is ignoring this cos he wants to keep his toy and he doesn't much care it won't accommodate his family.

SwanShaped · 31/07/2021 08:30

Have you asked him to try to get the baby seats in the back? Maybe he needs to see it

SwanShaped · 31/07/2021 08:30

Ask him to practice.

Wheresmycider · 31/07/2021 08:30

Do you have a car in mind? Depending on the car seats you already have is there something out there that will fit all 3 across the back?
We struggled with 2 seats and a skinny child between.

SwanShaped · 31/07/2021 08:30

But also, he’s being a knob. Only thinking about himself

SimonJT · 31/07/2021 08:31

Keep the car and get a multimac?

LakeShoreD · 31/07/2021 08:32

You would lose a lot of money if selling a luxury car bought new only last year, I do see where he is coming from especially if you can afford to buy a second car which it sounds like you can.

Also, what car is it and what are the ages of your children? With the right combination of seats you might be able to make it work- there are some really knowledgeable posters on here with regard to car seat stuff who might be able to help.

Weenurse · 31/07/2021 08:33

Get him to fit 3 car seats in the back and see how he goes

Topseyt · 31/07/2021 08:33

I'd just buy the second car if, as you say, you can afford it.

Neverrains · 31/07/2021 08:34

I feel for you as finding a car to fit all three of ours in was a fucking headache. Sounds like we didn’t have as much spare cash as you do though.
You need to sit him down and get him to give you a clear answer as to how he expects to be able to transport all 3 children around in 6 weeks time.

Neverrains · 31/07/2021 08:34

Multimacs are definitely worth looking into if he doesn’t want to get rid of the car.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 31/07/2021 08:36

I would make a list of cars that will fit the children in and tell him to choose.

cultkid · 31/07/2021 08:37

Get a multimac

What car is it

It's probably a lot more fun then any other people carrier 😭

NoSquirrels · 31/07/2021 08:39

@SimonJT

Keep the car and get a multimac?
Bloody hell - just looked that up and that’s genius. Bet it stops your upholstery bring mullered by kid-crumb detritus too!
ChittyChittyBoomBoom · 31/07/2021 08:39

Yep, we had a multimac which solved the problem.

DinosaurDiana · 31/07/2021 08:40

Just get the car. He’s being a cock.

Cancellingadvice · 31/07/2021 08:42

See it from his point of view - he finally gets the car he has been lusting over. Shortly afterwards you discover that you are unexpectedly pregnant and immediately say you will have to sell the car. No wonder he ha shut down

I suggest you have a conversation where you both discuss all of the options, rather than jumping straight to selling the car. These could be:

  1. Looking at combinations of narrow car seats that work well together (slot around each other). Plenty of advice on the internet and you might find one that works
  1. Getting a multimac
  1. What about putting one of the car seats in the front and one of the adults in the back? Not ideal but could work and you could always hire a car for alternative journeys
  1. You have ruled out a second car - why? This needs to be a discussion with DH
JulesCobb · 31/07/2021 08:43

Was going to say just get a second car and let him decide what to do with the first, but now im going to research multimacs instead.

Original poster
3acrosstheback · 31/07/2021 08:44

It's a Mercedes GLE Coupe. It is quite a big car so looks like it should fit a family but I've tried a variety of seats across the back and can't get them to fit. Not even close really. I've looked at all the 'narrow seat' options and the numbers don't seem to work. It is possible I could try that again.

www.mercedes-benz.co.uk/passengercars/mercedes-benz-cars/models/gle/coupe-c167/explore/highlights.module.html

I like the idea of a multimac a lot but I think it involves putting permanent bolts into the car and he wouldn't agree to that.

Part of the problem is I'm a bit of a doormat when it comes to these things... Just need to get my big girl pants on and sort it out myself.

OP posts:
tenredthings · 31/07/2021 08:46

This post reads like targeted advertising for multimac !