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Original poster

Things that made your ex unattractive

194 replies

FuckingFabulous · 29/07/2021 18:13

I'm not talking about the "s/he was a cheat/abuser/criminal/gaslighter" type stuff, because that is entirely understandable and totally deserves its own thread for all survivors of that fuckery. I'm talking about the small stuff that made you look at them like, "You're grim."

-My ex didn't brush his teeth every day. At one point, I put paste on his brush and it was there and dried on 9 days later. Ew, do not even attempt to kiss me.

-He also pronounced the emergency medical response vehicle as "Ambliance." Cringe, cold chills, skin prickling.

  • if he'd been outside doing ANYTHING, even talking to a neighbour, when he came back in he would look at me with an expression of devastated, dead on his feet exhaustion and just say, "Coffee" in a really croaky voice.
OP posts:
Peoniesandpeaches · 30/07/2021 00:45

I dumped a guy because his penis was too big. It got to the point where every time I looked at him I would involuntarily wince.

RiverSkater · 30/07/2021 01:17

@vampirethriller

Refused to wash his knob because my mouth would do that. When I told him I wasn't going anywhere near an unwashed cheesy penis, he put toothpaste on it to hide the smell. Didn't last long after that.
Oh that is one of the foulest things I have ever read yet it's also funny. How long were you with that charmer? @vampirethriller Shock
IceLace100 · 30/07/2021 01:43

He came super quick and refused to talk about it except to loudly state "premature for who???" Then laugh...

Why.

petridishmystery · 30/07/2021 02:01

I’ve only had one relationship. He was lovely, clean, kind, treated me well, all great aside from that bit at the end where he fell out of love with me and we broke up. Other than that, model boyfriend. So having only experienced that, I don’t understand how these disgusting men even got past the first date! And I’m terrified I’ll somehow end up with one and five years down the line realise I’m still there…

Ffs2020 · 30/07/2021 02:18

Last 2 exes - laziness. Ex 1 was a spoilt child who was given everything he ever wanted, but not practical things, xboxes, games, etc. He also 'didn't give up his job to be a slave for your father', when my df asked if he would do some light garden maintenance.

Ex 2 did a very good impression of being useful, but it was all a front. He couldn't cook, load a washing machine, drive, keep a job longer than a month, or generally function on a human level. He also wore the same clothes every day for 3-4 weeks.

Unfortunately, I only found this information out a few years into the relationships.

Gothichouse40 · 30/07/2021 02:22

Some of these are grim. Where on earth did you meet these awful men? What is it with men and awful/non-existent hygiene?

BritInAus · 30/07/2021 03:02

Never been so glad to be a gay woman. I mean, women definitely aren't perfect... but some of these hygiene ones are next level.

Also the 'coffee' one in the opening post... I laughed so hard!!!

Gingerkittykat · 30/07/2021 03:14

His bowels.

I've never known someone to fart as much as he did, unfortunately he found it funny every single time.

He would use a 9 pack of toilet roll a week by himself and talked about pebble dashing the bowl after he ate peanuts.

He got really confused and offended when I asked him whether he should go and see a Dr about his digestive issues.

avamiah · 30/07/2021 03:39

@Gingerkittykat

His bowels.

I've never known someone to fart as much as he did, unfortunately he found it funny every single time.

He would use a 9 pack of toilet roll a week by himself and talked about pebble dashing the bowl after he ate peanuts.

He got really confused and offended when I asked him whether he should go and see a Dr about his digestive issues.

OMG I have just laughed out loud.🤣

Every time my ex went to the toilet and took a newspaper in i knew he was going to be in there for 15/20 mins and it really started to seriously annoy me as the toilet would stink for ages afterwards.🤭
I told him that it wasn’t normal and nobody does that and he should book a appointment with his GP but he laughed at me and told me it was relaxing.
This was just one of the things that annoyed me the other was that he only brushed his teeth once a day and I could smell his breath when he was talking to me, hence no kissing .
When you can’t even kiss your other other half because of bad breath then there’s really No Hope .
Just to add he could afford to pay for private dental work so that was not the problem, he was the Problem.

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 30/07/2021 03:41

Would spend ages on the loo with the door open. Would then proceed to tell my all about his bowel movement once he’d finished. Regularly farted in bed and would call it a love puff. When we had sex he would scream out that he’s about to cum and then pull the worse cum face ever 🤮 Honestly he started off ok, I was only young (18) and he was 5 years older. Needless to say it went downhill fairly quickly once he got comfortable. Worse couple of months of my dating life ever. I was so pleased to ditch him and met my DH a few months after, thank god.

ZealAndArdour · 30/07/2021 03:57

Wow, I had a “salid” ex too.

pooonastick · 30/07/2021 03:58

These are hilarious. So many to choose from but the one that made me laugh so much was the guy who wore 3/4 length shorts with too much elastic and too many toggles. Brilliant!

avamiah · 30/07/2021 04:02

@pooonastick,
I missed that one 🙄

LunaNorth · 30/07/2021 04:04

Peed sitting down Sad

IHaveBrilloHair · 30/07/2021 04:19

And clearly with the door open

PandemicAtTheDisco · 30/07/2021 04:34

Sex with the rock star ex was basically him trying to emulate porn scenes. It was all a performance rather than something for pleasure. He'd also watch himself fucking in the mirror.

Chunkymenrock · 30/07/2021 04:46

Ooh, a sit down pee-er is great! Much cleaner, no sprayed urine that is left for someone else to clean up...Envy

Original poster
FuckingFabulous · 30/07/2021 06:40

@vampirethriller

Refused to wash his knob because my mouth would do that. When I told him I wasn't going anywhere near an unwashed cheesy penis, he put toothpaste on it to hide the smell. Didn't last long after that.
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
OP posts:
Original poster
FuckingFabulous · 30/07/2021 07:55

After reading through all these, I want to share that the same ex spent probably 2 hrs with his arse on the toilet each day. With the door wide open regardless of who was there, or he'd stomp in and start shitting regardless of what was happening in there at the time. Bathing, showering, tooth brushing! His bowels took immediate priority.

Vile fucking man. I often wonder if he still lives with his mum or if there's a woman out there who could put up with him

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BonesJones · 30/07/2021 08:39

The last one. Oh god what was I DOING?!!

His elderly mum would do all his food shopping, washing and make him a Sunday dinner which he wouldn't even eat with her...would drive over to pick it up and bring it home! Had some weird thing about sex (we did it about 10 times in 2 years!). Lived in his manky dressinggown and old man slippers. Used to Facebook stalk all his successful mates and talk shit about them. He was REALLY bitter. Used to treat me like I was genuinely thick for not being able to recognise every single actor from every single film and list what other films they'd been in. Was emotionally unavailable, not really bothered about the relationship at all, would cancel plans regularly...yet once I dumped him cried, begged, threatened suicide, then started stalking me in a fairly scary way for 2 months. WEIRD!

AttaGirrrrl · 30/07/2021 08:44

I just thought of more.

Presented himself as a health freak on social media but in reality only ate beige food and spent a lot of time on the sofa.

Only watched terrestrial tv.

Didn’t clean his bathroom once in the four months we were seeing each other.

IonaLeg · 30/07/2021 09:01

Mine used to look at me constantly for feedback / praise on what he was doing. He was very handsome and very clever and the baby of his family by many years (his next youngest brother was a decade older than him) and he was used to having praise and adoration heaped upon him. He had a little posse of girls at uni who were his friends (but not ‘girlfriend material’) who used to follow him around adoringly, baking things and laughing at his little jokes.

If I wasn’t in a state of constant admiration, he would get pissy. He would bang away on the out of tune piano in his flat and look over at me every few seconds to make sure I was paying attention and encouraging him. He would make me read the positive feedback on his essays over and over again. He would turn into an absolute wasp if I wasn’t ready enough with the praise.

Two things were the death knell. We studied the same subject and I got a very high mark on an essay. He told me I was lucky my tutor fancied me, and it was easier for girls who had male tutors. Then, just as I was seething about that, I discovered he was engaged in protracted, months long email correspondence with one of his aforementioned posse, who was desperately in love with him and hurt that he was with me and not her. He was absolutely stringing this poor girl along - asking her why she liked him so much, what was it about him that was so important to her, expressing sympathy at how sad it was they couldn’t be together, hinting that maybe she was the one for him after all. It was breathtakingly cruel.

I dumped him as soon as I found out and he cried and said he was off to phone his mum. He never did go out with the girl he was emailing, so hopefully she saw his true colours and ditched the needy prick.

IonaLeg · 30/07/2021 09:03

Regularly farted in bed and would call it a love puff.

🤣🤣🤣

Vulvasaur · 30/07/2021 09:08
  1. Wore elasticated 70s style briefs like a little kid. He was really short which didn't help. Once when we argued he lay face down on the sofa in a weird toddler sulk til I stopped talking. He told me that sometimes when he felt anxious in his (very easy non stressful low paid) job, he would go into the bathrooms and lie down on the floor. Ffs.
  1. Would go on about his 'big' penis when we were having sex and try and get me to say how big it was. It was quite small.
  1. Admired his own 6 pack in the mirror. A lot. Also once asked me during sex 'are you sucking your stomach in?'Angry
Original poster
FuckingFabulous · 30/07/2021 09:10

@AttaGirrrrl

I just thought of more.

Presented himself as a health freak on social media but in reality only ate beige food and spent a lot of time on the sofa.

Only watched terrestrial tv.

Didn’t clean his bathroom once in the four months we were seeing each other.

Ew.

Reminds me of the one night stand I once had in my late teenage years. Alcohol fuelled. For some reason he put a DVD of godzilla on in the background....But in the morning, I realised the sheets were greasy damp. You know, like someone's been shedding their body oils and skin in them for months on end. And when I went to the bathroom to wash all the gross off my skin, it was awful. Pube covered soap bar, towel so stiff I could crack it, sink and bath full of grime, brown toilet. I recoiled in horror. He was only the second person I ever slept with and I was all full of myself like I was total hot stuff, a wild child going home with this man who had been trying it on with me in the bar I worked in and then later in clubs for weeks. I had declined him repeatedly, sans beer goggles, because there was just something about him that made me think it wasn't gonna be worth my while.

The sex was bad, seeing him outside of a darkened environment was a huge shock as he was clearly way older than he said he was, (claimed 27, confessed to being 36) his bedroom smelt vile, his bathroom was unspeakable and he wanted to parade me downstairs to show his housemates that he'd managed to pull an 18 year old. Said "I want them to know that I am the kiddie." Cold shiver, skin prickling.....

For the next five years he tried desperately for a repeat, no matter how disgusted I seemed with the idea. I wondered if he had cleaned that bathroom at all in those years.

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