Things that made your ex unattractive

[FuckingFabulous]

I'm not talking about the "s/he was a cheat/abuser/criminal/gaslighter" type stuff, because that is entirely understandable and totally deserves its own thread for all survivors of that fuckery. I'm talking about the small stuff that made you look at them like, "You're grim."

-My ex didn't brush his teeth every day. At one point, I put paste on his brush and it was there and dried on 9 days later. Ew, do not even attempt to kiss me.

-He also pronounced the emergency medical response vehicle as "Ambliance." Cringe, cold chills, skin prickling.

• if he'd been outside doing ANYTHING, even talking to a neighbour, when he came back in he would look at me with an expression of devastated, dead on his feet exhaustion and just say, "Coffee" in a really croaky voice.

Hearing him Forcing long farts out in the bathroom every morning was not nice to wake up to.

Being a wanker when pissed, I used to go to bed ‘tired’ when this happened.

Knowing he watched porn, legal, but only just, thinking you’re looking at girls who are like your sons girlfriends age ...

Scratching his arse through the sheet so his finger didn’t smell

Pronouncing Salad “Salid”

Being chilly on the sofa and putting a blanket over his knees like a Nan

Wiping down the kitchen sides with a dry tea towel and brushing it down the gap between the cooker......for 28 fucking years

When he came he made a really feminine sound ....sounded like a young woman cumming 🤮

Many years ago I was starting to get the ick with my then DP, and he was very cross not to be having daily sex but also quite passive aggressive about it. We went on a ski trip where we had a bunk bed. He'd jerk off on the top bunk and then drop the tissues on me from above. Can't say I miss that but it was v funny even then.

manchild droppings

Love it, am adopting that (for my 18 yo so. I might add)

Smell. He was good looking, clever, nice. No problems with personal hygiene but his natural smell was off putting. I guess his pheromones tried to tell me that we are not compatible. We separated amicably.

I’ve just “briefly” dated a guy who gave me the ick only a few dates in.
He used to say quite often “come here, I’ll tidy you up” whilst trying to pick at me somehow (including my nose) on a first date!
Every single text he sent had the ‘muscly arm’ emoji.

My ex husband used to fart all the time really loudly, then say “oooohhhhhhh yeeeeeaaaaahhhhh” in a really creepy way afterwards. Same with burps. Vile.
He also used to fill the kitchen sink, put all the pots in (including the dishcloth) then leave it for me to find, cold, greasy and disgusting 🤢

@recall your whole post has made me howl! Thank you! Needed that laugh.

'Salid'

OMG dying laughing at that one

I mean my 18 year old son. Not 18 yo significant other

I wish @Stakhanovite, would have been more exciting I suspect he had rickets and scurvy due to his exclusive Heinz diet

Thanks for this thread OP! Given me a right old laugh!

@recall I’m sorry but you had me howling! I’m glad he’s your ex now! It’s was the crumbs down the side of the cooler that got me! What the hell goes through their brains!!

ExH.

Over sensitive.
Thought he was the funniest person he knew and he actually said that (he wasn't).

Clothes.

Tightness.

Small dick.

He would eat with his mouth open
He ate a whole chicken for dinner. Nothing else just a chicken.
He would guzzle fizzy pop constantly from the bottle
His obsession with buying LPs and vinyl then putting it in alphabetical order.

Final straw was when he was drinking fresh orange juice and eating whole joints of beef while me and kids had water and noodles because I'd run out of money for food.

Refused to wash his knob because my mouth would do that. When I told him I wasn't going anywhere near an unwashed cheesy penis, he put toothpaste on it to hide the smell.
Didn't last long after that.

The ex that looked liked Gru refused to pronounce Twitter properly despite being told by numerous people and would always say ‘Tweeter’!

The only jeans he would wear were boot leg jeans. I have no idea where he man add ged to buy such hideous looking things and suspect that a store employee inadvertently hung a few women’s pairs on a rack in the men’s section.

In the summer he wore these hideous mule things that he paired with three quarter length microfibre shorts that had lots of elastic fastenings and toggles on them.

Leaving a pile of toenails in random places, poo particles in the shower tray and once I found a booger smear on the bathroom mirror and he didn't even deny it. AND his farts smelled so bad even Satan would have taken offence. Dirty, disgusting bastard.

@PandemicAtTheDisco

This was cathartic until I accidently deleted my post.

My ex was 'in a band'. He was extra confident with little talent. He would monopolise the karaoke as he loved the attention. Countless times people complained to me about him - I was so ashamed to admit he was my partner.

He was also good looking but very vain. Constantly posing for selfies or admiring himself in the mirror, pulling faces or practising his stances. If he'd have put the same amount into practised his singing then he'd have been great.

He was so arrogantly confident and acted as if he knew everything. He doesn't realise he is talking crap and many people pick up on it and are embarrassed on his behalf.

Richard?

Putting an “h” in front of words that start with a vowel. (Not every single word!)

Fellow women, just what were we thinking!

Recent ex:
Kissed me with his eyes wide open every time.

Irritatingly touched and scratched my leg like he was scratching an itch.

Drank SO much and started talking to himself while we were out for a romantic dinner. I asked him if he was having a senior moment.

Was scared of bugs.

PandemicAtTheDisco You dated Jeremy off Peep Show then?

@PresidentJoey
@Theunamedcat

No, not Steve or Richard - but he was a dick!

The supreme confidence gives him lots of opportunities which he blows as he has little substance to back him up. It took me too long to see the truth.

I was in the shower-he came in to have a stinking shit

He wore a cheap plastic pair of boating shoes that he got from primark-they where foul

Once walked into his bedroom to find he’d stepped out of his jeans/pants and left them on the floor-the pants where caked in shit

Would rub his crusty toenail up and down my ankle when he wanted sex

Was too cheap to buy a bed so he slept on an old (found in the street) futon frame with a cheap memory foam topper

Was tight to the point of painful

He had two kids-his daughter would sleep on the sofa (fine) his son had to sleep on a piece of rolled up carpet as he was too cheap to buy an air bed

Let his son play with a BB gun and couldn’t see the harm in allowing a six year old loose with a loaded gun

Many many more-I’m so glad I’m with the bloke I’m with now

My ex refused to get out of bed on a weekend because it was his “me time”. He would take bags of crisps and a 2l bottle of pop to bed on a Friday night alongside a Dominos he had got on his way home and wouldn’t get out of bed until the Monday for work except for using the en-suite when needed.