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Original poster

Everyone in DS' class seems to do football and he's left out

66 replies

smellyjellyshoes · 28/07/2021 22:44

I know it's the holidays, but quite a few boys ( and a few girls) from Ds' class do football training with a local team. It's seems they are doomb the summer coaching sessions and have planned to meet up to play football each week.

My DS hasn't shown any interest in football and I've asked if he wanted to go and try, but he doesn't. But then DS doesn't gain any friends as they are all bonding through this shared interest, and he's on his own with no holiday meet ups planned 😟 Am I over worrying? IDK it's just he's been at school for the worst 2 years in terms of socialising and even for me to try to get to know other parents. He's 6.

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 28/07/2021 22:59

Any other sports? Ds 5 does judo, swimming and tennis and has met some friends through these.

elQuintoConyo · 28/07/2021 23:03

Mine hates football. He is, in fact, crap at any ball sport. He likes swimming, athletics (so, running around a lot!) and riding his bike.

It's hard to see sometimes, as it's a really easy way to make friends. We were camping recently and he preferred running around with the younger kids than the older, as they were constantly playing fucking football.

He's 9yo and prefers other things. He's enjoying watching the Olympics and might try some gymnastics when September rolls around.

BananaSpanner · 28/07/2021 23:08

Loads of boys don’t like playing football, but lots do when they’re v Young. Some will stick with it to varying degrees but over the next few years, loads will lose interest and develop others interests. Be proud your son knows his own mind, there’ll be a few going because their friends are there or because their parents want them to be there.

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Original poster
smellyjellyshoes · 28/07/2021 23:20

Because their parents want them to be there

I don't have a single sporting bone in my body, so I'm not pushy. But I haven't taken him to try the football. It's just I'm not sure he really knows what it is. We don't watch any sports at home, but we are very active.

So maybe I'm feeling a bit guilty it's my fault he's left out. Especially as the coaching is one evening plus one weekend day. I have no issue with the weekend, but I would have to take my toddler in the evening and that makes me shudder, so I feel partly I've been quite happy he doesn't want to go. He does tennis one weekend day, he seems to like it, but when I asked if he wanted to rebook for September he didn't seem that keen. We have made one friend through tennis, but he's at a different school. I just wonder if the football would pave the way for more friendships. Lots of boys seem to play.

OP posts:
GiantToadstool · 28/07/2021 23:23

Maybe put name on list for cubs/other activities?

Menmy3 · 28/07/2021 23:30

This will be super unpopular on here but I made mine go to training when he was 4 as most boys do play and it’s a really easy way to make pals. Now he’s 8 and absolutely obsessed when he really wasn’t bothered.
Some of his best mates are in his team. Don’t worry about a toddler I have one too and they just get spoilt be everyone and run around the sidelineS. Best thing we did for my boy x x x

gooseygoosey12345 · 28/07/2021 23:35

Why not sign him up for some other clubs? What's he interested in? There's lots of choice. Art, music, Cubs, various other sports. Maybe he just hasn't clicked with anyone, he can always make friends outside of school who have similar interests rather than a group of kids who happen to be the same age as him.

NinaGonk · 28/07/2021 23:38

Meh my 6yo isnt bothered about things like that either. I made him do a weekly class cos some of his classmates were doing it. The fuss he made every time he had to go, despite the fact he seemed to have fun once there.

I think 6 is so young. Give it a couple of years for peer pressure and wanting to fit in to kickstart, then you can start with the classes he fancies.

AppleKatie · 28/07/2021 23:39

I also have no sporting bone in my body. However I did start taking my DS’s to football sessions from 2.5yo - partly to develop healthy habits but mainly to give them an easier social ride.

They don’t have to do it, they can stop whenever they like (one goes through phases of doing it and then not) but they both play well enough to socialise with their mates and enjoy it.

I’m not raising David Beckham but I saw it as an easy thing I could do for them.

So many kids ‘hate football’ because when they try and play on the playground at 6 against kids who have been having lessons for 3 years and have learnt a few moves they feel like they are no good at it.

GroggyLegs · 28/07/2021 23:46

I think we probably do overthink these things but I felt the same until my son suddenly got obsessed with sport this year & must admit it opened up new friendships with the boys in his class. He's 7.

But there's other opportunities to make friends if it's a worry for you. - My son has bonded with existing school friends & made new ones at Beavers.
Ask him if he wants to invite anyone over?
Put a general 'were going to the park on Sunday, is anyone free' on the class what's app?

Singinginshower · 28/07/2021 23:49

Do you have any friends /family who are interested in football? It is a good thing for social 'bonding' but there are plenty of other activities available.
As your DS isn't bothered about it atm, I think it's more important that they get the chance to try different things which you could share some interest in.

MrsPear · 29/07/2021 07:09

Hates football? Find another interest and make friends at that.

sadperson16 · 29/07/2021 07:13

Poor kid,what a nonsense that a large proportion of the population thinks that kicking a ball around is of paramount importance.

I would just try to find other children and parents who realise there is more to life. What does he enjoy?

SwanShaped · 29/07/2021 07:14

If you’re thinking about friendships, has he asked for any friends to come play at his? Just not to do football.

Jenasaurus · 29/07/2021 07:14

@smellyjellyshoes

I know it's the holidays, but quite a few boys ( and a few girls) from Ds' class do football training with a local team. It's seems they are doomb the summer coaching sessions and have planned to meet up to play football each week.

My DS hasn't shown any interest in football and I've asked if he wanted to go and try, but he doesn't. But then DS doesn't gain any friends as they are all bonding through this shared interest, and he's on his own with no holiday meet ups planned 😟 Am I over worrying? IDK it's just he's been at school for the worst 2 years in terms of socialising and even for me to try to get to know other parents. He's 6.

My eldest DS was the same, he had no interest in football at a similar age and hadnt many friends. I enrolled him in Beavers, Kick Boxing, Swimming, Cricket and tennis and although that didnt really make him many friends it did help his confidence, he was also very close to his DB and DSIS and had lots of cousins that were at our house most weekends. As an adult he has plenty of friends now, and a lovely girlfriend...and also now loves football (watching, not playing)

This will pass for your DS, athough I remember feeling the same as you are.

Musication · 29/07/2021 07:20

I also have a 6 year old DS who isn't remotely into football. We went to an after school picnic on the last day of term and alll the boys played except him- he just hung back. I sometimes wish he would just kick around so he's not left out but also don't want him to do things he doesn't enjoy.
He likes other sport like swimming but that doesn't help in the playground! No advice but my DS is the same.

MissyB1 · 29/07/2021 07:31

They don’t have to like football! Other hobbies/ interests are available! It doesn’t matter what the other kids at school do, let your ds follow his own interests. Maybe find an activity camp where he can do a range of things? They don’t have to go all day. And it’s good to meet and do stuff with other kids outside of his own school.

Apeirogon · 29/07/2021 07:32

Both my boys love football, it's not a necessity though. At their primary schools there was always a group of boys kicking a football around at break times and a (smaller) group who weren't interested and did other things. He won't be the only boy in the class who doesn't like football. Can you find the others and ask them over to play?

TheSockMonster · 29/07/2021 07:34

I’d be wary of making him go if he doesn’t want to, although one trial session might not be a terrible idea.

My DS wasn’t interested in football, but asked to join the local club because all his school friends went there. He wasn’t very good and some children from another school who went there started bullying him. The club weren’t interested in sorting it out. After a while the friends from his school, who’d never before bullied him, joined in. I stopped it before it could follow him to his school and signed him up for goal keeping lessons instead. I later found out that our local club is notorious for turning a blind eye to bullying.

He’s at secondary school now and wants to join the school football club when it restarts in September. I’m hoping the school club will have a better ethos!!

rattlemehearties · 29/07/2021 07:36

Message other parents and arrange to meet at the playground during the summer hols? He's still young so perfect way to socialise. Ask him who his friends are if necessary

User5827372728 · 29/07/2021 07:40

Can you arrange other play dates that don’t involve sport? Invite a class friend other to play?

Pinchoftums · 29/07/2021 07:42

DSS hated football. He was only one of about 3 boys in his class who didn't play and both of them had SN. He made friends with the two other boys and with lots of the girls. He made lovely friendships that have stuck and quite possibly had a more interesting time. I love football but it is quite all consuming at certain ages (6 until about 10)

lannistunut · 29/07/2021 07:44

@smellyjellyshoes

I know it's the holidays, but quite a few boys ( and a few girls) from Ds' class do football training with a local team. It's seems they are doomb the summer coaching sessions and have planned to meet up to play football each week.

My DS hasn't shown any interest in football and I've asked if he wanted to go and try, but he doesn't. But then DS doesn't gain any friends as they are all bonding through this shared interest, and he's on his own with no holiday meet ups planned 😟 Am I over worrying? IDK it's just he's been at school for the worst 2 years in terms of socialising and even for me to try to get to know other parents. He's 6.

Yes you are over worrying. You are projecting friendship worries onto your child.

He isn't interested in football - let him find his own interests.

The others are NOT bonding over a shared interest, they are far far too young to bond in a meaningful way - they are just playing a sport they like with the other children who also like that sport. Some of them will have given football up in a year's time and moved on to something else. I had boys who were not interested in football - by age 12 they had lovely friends interested in the same things they were.

Find something your child does want to do, or maybe you have a quiet child who is happy reading etc (I have one like that).

lannistunut · 29/07/2021 07:47

@TheSockMonster

I’d be wary of making him go if he doesn’t want to, although one trial session might not be a terrible idea.

My DS wasn’t interested in football, but asked to join the local club because all his school friends went there. He wasn’t very good and some children from another school who went there started bullying him. The club weren’t interested in sorting it out. After a while the friends from his school, who’d never before bullied him, joined in. I stopped it before it could follow him to his school and signed him up for goal keeping lessons instead. I later found out that our local club is notorious for turning a blind eye to bullying.

He’s at secondary school now and wants to join the school football club when it restarts in September. I’m hoping the school club will have a better ethos!!

There is plenty of bullying in organised/team sports, and tbh some of the children most active in local sports clubs are the ones you hope your kid will be able to swerve.

I hope your son is OK now and being treated better @TheSockMonster

HelpingJane · 29/07/2021 07:51

I would encourage him to go and see if he likes it. My DC is the same age and has made lots of friends through football. It also helps to have some idea of how to play because lots of kids do seem to bond through it.

If he goes and doesn't like it then of course take him out. Summer camps are a great way for kids to try new sports.