My worst nightmare nearly happened this morning 😞

[purrswhileheeats]

I was reversing out of my driveway and almost ran over my neighbour's child, he was directly behind my car. He's no more than three years old and the only reason I saw him was he was waving his arms in the air and I saw them in my rear view mirror. He's so tiny I wouldn't have seen him otherwise as he was below the level of the back window IFYSWIM. My neighbour was loading stuff into his boot so I beeped the horn and shouted to him, he ran over, grabbed the boy and took him inside.

I was shaking and crying (sorry, that's so MN) when I got to work. They're a new family on the estate, only moved in a few months ago. The dad must've known the boy was playing outside while he was loading the car but didn't bother to check where he was.

I'm waiting for them to come home so I can go and speak to them. It's so horrible, I feel sick thinking about what could have happened.

@CarlottaValdez

I do drive, yes. I’ve never driven across a pavement without checking that it’s clear.

Of course. I didn't say anyone should. But you could have checked multiple times, begin your exit, and someone appears at speed / unexpectedly.

Obviously as a careful driver you'd be able stop quickly but you'd get a fright.

In your case I would slow down and put the indicator on well before the driveway. Car behind will be unsure of where you are going to turn and will likely fall back and give you space.

Unfortunately they don't, they appear to look totally puzzled and wave their arms around a lot. It doesn't help that we are the last house before a left turn so everyone assumes we are turning left. It's horrendous but we have tried. They tried some temporary traffic calming to see if it worked and people went berserk. There were 2 accidents on the first day. People drove into bollards I learned to drive in London but Kent is another planet!!

I've been shocked by the number of posters on this thread who have told the OP she did nothing wrong despite the fact that what she did was against the highway code. She may be overseas, but bad practice is still bad practice.

I agree with you on this - I know OP said reversing in is hard where she lives but it is absolutely the correct thing to do. I think in fairness to her, she said she would re-consider?

@BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand please don't make assumptions about my intentions. Firstly, I don't park as the Op does, as I drive forward onto my drive and also turn my car around and drive off my drive. No reversing required. On the rare occasion I can't drive forward and pull through in a parking space I will reverse in. And I have parking sensors. I was actually sympathising with the Op on the heart stopping moment of 'what if' because regardless of who is doing what, it is quite a breath taking moment to realise that if you had been a minute sooner or some such there could be a different outcome.
I take full responsibility for what I do in my car, and I also take full responsibility when a pedestrian for the safety of my daughter. I do not allow her to run ahead of me out of arm's reach when walking down the road, not just because of cars pulling out of drives but because of all the other hazards involved. It would certainly be cold comfort if she was hit by a car but I wasn't legally responsible for it happening. I do hold my daughter's hand firmly and ensure we do not cross a drive until we have clear visibility of what could be pulling out, because her safety matters much more to me than who is legally responsible for her getting hurt. I think that is a responsible way for a parent to behave.
Children who are considered responsible enough to be cycling to and from school do not belong on a pavement. I'm certainly not hiding that I find that unacceptable, and I mentioned it in my first post. Children who are allowed to run or scoot so far ahead of their parents that they are out of arm's reach should not do so, not because of how it impacts me pulling off my drive but because it is dangerous. What if the child trips and falls into the road? What if they run in to another pedestrian? What if someone snatches them? If you let your child get far enough away from you that you are not able to touch them, then they are vulnerable to any of the above and that is not responsible parenting. Whether that is 'fair' or not isn't that relevant, because I certainly don't want to be arguing about what is fair in the aftermath of a situation where my daughter was injured because I wasn't vigilant when there were obvious hazards and dangers around.
There are a lot of posts on here that sound like people are very focused on the legalities of the situation but seem to give very little thought beyond that to what they can do to protect their children (regardless of whether there is a legal onus on them to do so)

I was playing on my bike as a kid and was knocked down by a neighbour reversing out his drive. My bike went under his car but I screamed before he could actually hit me. He was completely shaken. 30 years later, having not seen him in about 25 years I bumped into him at a wedding and he still remembered it. He still looked shaken!

Be kind to yourself OP and just take extra care next time.

@dudsville

Oh my god, I can just imagine the sick feeling a fight like that would cause. How awful. Remember it didn't happen, probably due to your careful approach.

Yep, well done, OP, on being so careful. You did well.

Reversing onto your driveway involves way more manoeuvring than just driving into it. Increased opportunities for small kamikaze child to be squashed by careless, heartless OP!

@MrsKoala - I have every sympathy. I used to have to walk my children along a main road to get them to school and in all honesty, the cars trying to reverse into their drives along it were far more of a hazard than those trying to reverse out, for the very reason you give - the road users were not expecting, or tolerant of, people driving forwards along said main road gradually slowing down and then reversing on it in order to get onto their drives - they would most definitely ram themselves up the car’s backside as it slowed down, so preventing the intended manoeuvre. In all honesty, I felt infinitely safer looking out for cars reversing off their drives, the cars on the main roads coped better looking out for cars reversing off their drives than cars that seemed to be slowing to a snail’s pace on the main road and then reversing towards them, and much less road rage, sudden braking and swerving happened that way. Regardless, as a pedestrian, it is never fun to have to walk along a narrow pavement on the side of a busy main road.

@purrswhileheeats

I don't know actually, I just wanted to tell him to be more careful. I wasn't banging on the door shouting at his grandmother lol.

It was a horrible experience and not one I want to repeat.

But the not just them that needs to be more careful, you do to as it was you driving.

If you can't reverse onto your drive get a reversing camera fitted.

There's no need to speak to the neighbours, I'm sure the shock this morning was a reminder of what can happen when you take your eye off a little one

@purrswhileheeats

This is the first time I've been ripped apart like this, I usually stick to the Litter Tray and post photos of kitties.

I accept that it would be better/safer to reverse onto my driveway and I will try this. However it is the parents' fault that their little boy was unsupervised and ran behind my car as I was reversing slowly and carefully out of my driveway. They should have been more diligent. I'm not being made to feel guilty or responsible for what could have happened but it's all gone round in my head today.

I have no gripe with my Romanian neighbours other than they need to keep a better eye on their young boy.

Completely wrong.

The boy (regardless of age) is a pedestrian.

The law favours pedestrians in car accidents.

If you had of hit him it would you being charged by the police, not the parents

@KormasABitch

Reversing onto your driveway involves way more manoeuvring than just driving into it. Increased opportunities for small kamikaze child to be squashed by careless, heartless OP!

Reversing off your driveway requires way more manoeuvring than just driving off it.... 🤷🏻‍♀️

"The op posts, if real at all, stink to high heaven of entitlement and xenophobia. Like, harken Romanians, hold your toddlers close. The British woman is reversing out of her drive (because she couldn't reverse into it...)" You sound like the chip on your shoulder is the size of Romania.

If a road is too busy to reverse onto the drive, how tf do you reverse on to the 'busy' road??? 🤔

@AlexandraQueen

If a road is too busy to reverse onto the drive, how tf do you reverse on to the 'busy' road??? 🤔

You gradually back out, slowly, until the traffic has a natural break, or is busy (so is slow and can create a gap) or someone lets you out.

To reverse in, you need to ensure the traffic behind you allows you enough space, and equally the other side of the road is clear / traffic stops so you can complete the turn.

The other challenge is that a driver indicating left to turn will be assumed to be driving in; there's no way of letting the drivers behind you know that you actually plan to reverse.

They may innocently have continued up too close to you, in that belief, making it impossible to reverse in.

If a road is too busy to reverse onto the drive, how tf do you reverse on to the 'busy' road??

I spend up to 10 mins hovering on my drive craning my neck waiting for a break in the traffic. There's a crossing and a roundabout a bit along helps. occasionally if my neighbour's out at the same time she walks out and puts their hand up while I reverse.

Sorry - that was garbled - I'm watching the handmaids tale at the same time!

@purrswhileheeats

This is the first time I've been ripped apart like this, I usually stick to the Litter Tray and post photos of kitties.

I accept that it would be better/safer to reverse onto my driveway and I will try this. However it is the parents' fault that their little boy was unsupervised and ran behind my car as I was reversing slowly and carefully out of my driveway. They should have been more diligent. I'm not being made to feel guilty or responsible for what could have happened but it's all gone round in my head today.

I have no gripe with my Romanian neighbours other than they need to keep a better eye on their young boy.

If the parents aren’t going to keep an eye on their child, this could have happened whilst you had been reversing into your drive just as what happened this morning! The ONLY person who averted complete disaster was YOU @purrswhileheeats - thank goodness you saw him and were able to stop as you were going so slow and paying attention to your surroundings - and caught sight of his hand in the Nick of time! I really hope the parents take heed and keep a close eye on him in future, but as has been said, little ones can literally get into dangerous situations in seconds! Thankfully it was you and not someone passing less attention or going that little bit faster! X

So how is that any different from waiting for a gap in traffic to reverse in? And if someone's got too close, then they'll have to go round you.

I don't really see how a busy road can be an argument for having to drive in.

@MrsKoala

If a road is too busy to reverse onto the drive, how tf do you reverse on to the 'busy' road??

I spend up to 10 mins hovering on my drive craning my neck waiting for a break in the traffic. There's a crossing and a roundabout a bit along helps. occasionally if my neighbour's out at the same time she walks out and puts their hand up while I reverse.

That just sounds like such a ball ache! Surely it would be easier to reverse in?

That just sounds like such a ball ache! Surely it would be easier to reverse in?

But I can't. Because the cars behind won't let me.

But eventually someone let's you reverse out, so eventually someone will let you reverse in.

I thought reversing out onto a road was illegal anyway?

But anywho, this doesn’t sound like a very big deal - you just need to be vigilant; check, wait, check again. If he’s that young he’s likely always on the move and so you’ll see some form of movement from at least one of your check points when reversing.

But I’d start pulling out forward, and reversing on.

its too late to have a word
you should have spoken when it happened
just double check when you go to your car in future

Well no, because when you reverse out there is a huge flow of traffic and maybe eventually one of those people will let you reverse out (if you don't get a break in traffic - I would say I've been let out about 10 times in the 4 years I've lived here). But if you are driving along you only have one person behind you to drive right up your behind and then you can't reverse - so you can't wait 10 mins with 100s of cars piling up behind you waiting for one of them to let you in because they physically can't because that one car is in the way. So you drive round the block and the same thing happens again and again. Never once has anyone hung back so I can reverse in. Neither have my neighbours had that happen. Every car along here drives in and reverses out because of it.

Reversing in isn’t the same manoeuvre as reversing out if you think about it. Most people don’t have rear wheel drive cars