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Original poster

OH or parents don't take photographs.

53 replies

Saladcreamormayo · 25/07/2021 15:52

Does anybody else have a OH that never takes photos? Whilst scrolling through my photo albums on my phone I have noticed there a very few photos of me with my children and those few are posed and I've asked to be taken, so no in the moment snap shots of me with my children, and on days out or holidays you wouldn't even know I'd been there! Where as I have loads of lovely pics of my OH having fun with the children. Also loads of lovely pictures of my parents with the children but they also never take photos so they have none of me with my children either. I obviously take the odd selfie of me with them but it's not the same. I have mentioned to him in the past and my parents about them not taking pics and that I wish they'd take some of me with the children for them to look back on in years to come but they still don't bother. Also if my OH takes the children out for the day on his own to the beach or a zoo etc he will not take a single photo No idea why. If it wasnt for me there wouldn't be a single photo in existence of my children. I even bought him a new phone with a decent camera hoping he'd take pics but no nothings changed. What can I do to encourage him to take pics? Does anyone else have a OH like this?

OP posts:
Orangeinmybluelightcup · 25/07/2021 15:56

Same in this house. I think it's quite common actually, among my friendship group, and I've even seen Facebook meme type things about it aimed at encouraging husbands /partners to take unposed photos of theirs wives with their children.

Currysauceandchips · 25/07/2021 15:58

Same here! I have loads of action pics of DH with the kids, and only a few of me with them which we have posed for.
He never takes any pics of me, whereas his friends post pics of their wives on FB on special occasions saying how beautiful they are! It makes me a bit sad that he would never do anything like that about me.
I feel your pain OP but just have to accept that he is not going to suddenly start taking pics when he never has!!

lannistunut · 25/07/2021 16:01

Both me and my DP are like that, we can't be arsed with photos and prefer to enjoy what we are doing at the time - I can not bear to be around my sister as it is constant, photos every five minutes, we had to ask her to stop taking pictures of us.

How many pictures do you need? That is not snipey, it is a genuine question. We try to take one or two per month, of something special, to keep a record of the kids growing. That is honestly all we feel we need.

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scrivette · 25/07/2021 16:01

Same here! I love taking photos but I don't have any of me and the children unless I ask for one to be taken and then it's a really posed one.

MadMadMadamMim · 25/07/2021 16:02

I never take photos. I spent a childhood hating having to pose for photos for my Mum every time we were out anywhere. it would not occur to me to take photos of DH or kids when we are out enjoying ourselves somewhere. I'm just enjoying the moment and don't feel the need to make a FB "memory" of it or anything like that.

QueenofLouisiana · 25/07/2021 16:03

Same here: photos of flowers in National Trust gardens, photos of views, photos of farm animals. Couldn’t tell you the last time he took a photo of DS or I.

Bloatstoat · 25/07/2021 16:03

Opposite thing with me - I really rarely take photos, whereas DH is always taking them. I hate pictures of myself though so he tries not to take them, so there's very few of either of us with the kids to be honest!
I'm just not really a photo person, I'd never really look at them or print them or put photos on the wall, and I don't do social media so nothing on there either. I think I'm just not very visual, I just don't really understand why people like photos or pictures so much! I realise this is a bit odd though Blush

CrouchEndTiger12 · 25/07/2021 16:04

Remember when we were children and had to pay for a roll of film and development of them?

People take far too many pics now.

SleepingStandingUp · 25/07/2021 16:04

If he took lots of photos but refused to take them with you in it there would be an issue but if he just doesn't bother then i think its just one of those things.

Ot doesn't sound like this is on once in a lifetime trips or even the singular weekend at the seaside so sounds like there will be tons to look back on.

How old are the kids? could you get them a kiddies one?

JustLyra · 25/07/2021 16:05

It's very common I think.

Years ago when we tried to make a photo calendar thing for my Nana my brother only had about three photos of him with his children.

DH takes lots as he was widowed very young and bitterly regrets that he and his wife didn't take a lot of photos before she got ill as he wishes DS1 had more pics of his Mum.

I would start handing him your phone and specifically ask him to take a photo of you and the children when you want/think of it.

WeWantAMackerelNotASprat · 25/07/2021 16:06

I love photos and love looking back at photos of my childhood, seeing my grandparents gives me a lovely warm glow.

I think you can enjoy the moment and take a couple of snaps. After my mum died I loved looking at photos of things we had done together and would have been very sad to not have had those pictures, but each to their own!

PrettyBlunt · 25/07/2021 16:08

Yes and it annoys me so much and it hurts.

I love photography and to some might think I take too many pictures.

You know you have a problem when your DP every year makes me a personalised calendar but has to go through my camera roll on my phone to get pictures of me and DS. It's just really hurtful.

WeWantAMackerelNotASprat · 25/07/2021 16:08

@JustLyra

It's very common I think.

Years ago when we tried to make a photo calendar thing for my Nana my brother only had about three photos of him with his children.

DH takes lots as he was widowed very young and bitterly regrets that he and his wife didn't take a lot of photos before she got ill as he wishes DS1 had more pics of his Mum.

I would start handing him your phone and specifically ask him to take a photo of you and the children when you want/think of it.

My dad used to hate having his picture taken but when I explained how I loved seeing photos of me with my grandparents he is now happy to be in some as he wants my children to have lovely memories in the future to look back on
SmileyClare · 25/07/2021 16:08

You don't need lots of photos. As long as you have a few of you and the dc then it's fine.

This is a bit like the younger generation thinking "if it's not on social media, it didn't happen"

I actually can't stand a day out where someone's phone is constantly taking photos. It's like the whole experience is being viewed through their camera. Just enjoy being in the moment. Your brain will make memories.

PrettyBlunt · 25/07/2021 16:10

@SmileyClare

You don't need lots of photos. As long as you have a few of you and the dc then it's fine.

This is a bit like the younger generation thinking "if it's not on social media, it didn't happen"

I actually can't stand a day out where someone's phone is constantly taking photos. It's like the whole experience is being viewed through their camera. Just enjoy being in the moment. Your brain will make memories.

Your brain might not always remember these memories though. That's why it's nice to have them to look back on.
WeWantAMackerelNotASprat · 25/07/2021 16:10

@SmileyClare but your brain forgets things. My children were too young to remember some days out and they love looking at those albums, in fact they love looking at any old pictures!

I was looking at an old album of a holiday I went on and I wouldn't have remembered nearly as much if I didn't have a few photos.

mistermagpie · 25/07/2021 16:10

I have the same thing, in quite into photography - have done a couple of night classes and things, so I do take photos quite a lot. I like candid stuff so it's not intrusive or anything.

DH never takes any photos at all unless I specifically ask him to and even then they are sort of 'look at the camera and say cheese' type ones so a bit forced. It wouldnt occur to him to take photos really.

So the upshot is that I have millions of lovely photos of DH and the kids but I'm never in any of them and the ones I am in just have the kids looking a bit posed and awkward! I've given up now and am just glad of the nice photos I do have.

FreeBritnee · 25/07/2021 16:10

It’s very rare to find a photo of me with my children as I hate seeing myself as everyone else sees me and it tarnishes my memory of an event/day out if I see my gurning mug alongside everyone. So my DP doesn’t even try to take my photo. We do have a lot of him with the kids but I really like that.

Just tell him.

FreeBritnee · 25/07/2021 16:12

[quote WeWantAMackerelNotASprat]@SmileyClare but your brain forgets things. My children were too young to remember some days out and they love looking at those albums, in fact they love looking at any old pictures!

I was looking at an old album of a holiday I went on and I wouldn't have remembered nearly as much if I didn't have a few photos.[/quote]
That’s nice and you’re right. We do take lots of the children and hopefully they’ll like looking at them at some point.

JustLyra · 25/07/2021 16:12

Also, and it's random I know, but photos were great when my Nana had dementia. She didn't recognise any of us, but she recognised the people in photos and it was comforting for her having some around. Plus it gave people something to talk to her about as she told stories about the folks in the photos.

makingmyway10 · 25/07/2021 16:13

My DDs are grown up but always been the and here. My DH never takes pics and never has. The pics of the DDs growing up are all taken by me and are if them and him with them. Hardly any with them and me. He just does not see the point if pics he never looks at them Confused he is a very hands on and loving father just not into pics I guess .

WeWantAMackerelNotASprat · 25/07/2021 16:15

@FreeBritnee I make photo albums with the free books app. Really quick to do from your phone

seekingadvice23 · 25/07/2021 16:18

My DH is a bit like this, he won't take any photos of dc and me unless I ask but he takes photos of his family and our dc. It's caused many arguments especially when he didn't take any of my newborn daughter and I but he took loads of her and his parents.

SmileyClare · 25/07/2021 16:21

Sure it's nice to have photos of family days out or holidays. My point was you don't need thousands of photos for every single thing you do.

My younger sister will take at least 20 pics a day of her and the children. Its what she likes to do but it's hard to engage with someone when they're always on their phone, either taking a picture or looking at the results. And this is just sitting in her garden, not a big occasion or anything.

I think it's too much and unless they're printed out, then with technological advances, by the time you're a grandparent that phone data will be lost or inaccessible.

Hallyup6 · 25/07/2021 16:23

My husband will only take photos on holiday, usually. I've looked back on ones that he's taken at zoos or farms. There's the odd one of me and the kids, then one of every single fucking animal that he's walked past. That's not what I want to remember!

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