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Original poster

OH or parents don't take photographs.

53 replies

Saladcreamormayo · 25/07/2021 15:52

Does anybody else have a OH that never takes photos? Whilst scrolling through my photo albums on my phone I have noticed there a very few photos of me with my children and those few are posed and I've asked to be taken, so no in the moment snap shots of me with my children, and on days out or holidays you wouldn't even know I'd been there! Where as I have loads of lovely pics of my OH having fun with the children. Also loads of lovely pictures of my parents with the children but they also never take photos so they have none of me with my children either. I obviously take the odd selfie of me with them but it's not the same. I have mentioned to him in the past and my parents about them not taking pics and that I wish they'd take some of me with the children for them to look back on in years to come but they still don't bother. Also if my OH takes the children out for the day on his own to the beach or a zoo etc he will not take a single photo No idea why. If it wasnt for me there wouldn't be a single photo in existence of my children. I even bought him a new phone with a decent camera hoping he'd take pics but no nothings changed. What can I do to encourage him to take pics? Does anyone else have a OH like this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Saladcreamormayo · 25/07/2021 16:23

I don't do social media other than mumsnet so I dont want pics of us to post on there it is just for private family memories only.
I think why it upsets me so much is that my parents never ever took photos of me growing up in the 80s&90s, we didn't even own a camera so I do not have a single photo of me with my sibling or parents as a child which I find quite sad I would have loved photos of me with my parents. The only childhood photos I have is what neighbours had taken of me playing with their children and given me a copy.

OP posts:
spiderlight · 25/07/2021 16:24

DH takes dozens of photos of his allotment but not much else! He will occasionally take a pic of me/DS from a distance if we're doing something interesting (I hate having my photo taken so it's usually the back of my head) but he's not a spontaneous snapper. I have thousands of pics of him, DS and our dog, but then I use social media and send lots of photos to his parents, whereas he's a bit of a dinosaur. Still, if you want a blurry photo of a potato plant, he's your man!

UserAtLarge · 25/07/2021 16:25

Opposite here - DH takes loads of photos whereas I don't enjoy taking them, don't enjoy looking at them and would rather enjoy the moment than spending time forever taking pictures.

Once my DC were old enough to have a phone, they took zillions of photos though :)

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Families
Phillipa12 · 25/07/2021 16:32

SmileyClare sometimes a few photos is not enough, but yes, stick to family days out an occasions. My exh has loads of photos of him and the dc, I have about 5 and of those 5 only 2 with my daughter who passed away age 3. There is nothing more upsetting looking through photos and seeing yet another photo of daddy and Pippa, especially when you continually asked your oh to take photos.

Arsebucket · 25/07/2021 16:39

only photos of me that are in existence of me and my two younger children are crap selfies.

My husband takes lots of photos of the kids, just none of me.

I asked him to take one of me and ds (from my forst marriage), when we first lived together and he said “why would you want a photo of yourself?” Made me feel so embarrassed.

Lots of him though. Thousands. You’d think he was a single parent Confused

My ex was much better. lots of photos of me and ds before we split.

Piccalily19 · 25/07/2021 16:41

Yep same!
My little boy is 6 months old and I seem to have about 200 photos of him and his dad and about 4 of me and him that aren’t selfies

WimpoleHat · 25/07/2021 16:43

Yes - my DH is the same. I got upset about it when I realised there were only about five pictures of me with either of my kids! He’s been a little bit better since then, but there still aren’t many.

megletthesecond · 25/07/2021 16:44

Similar here. I'm a lone parent but my family don't take photos of us. Pre-pandemic I always spent money on photos at theme parks of me and the dcs.

I remember mum took one photo of me holding my niece six years ago, one snap at an odd angle and I looked like a weirdy troll. Thanks.

OutOfTrousers · 25/07/2021 16:51

@Currysauceandchips

Same here! I have loads of action pics of DH with the kids, and only a few of me with them which we have posed for. He never takes any pics of me, whereas his friends post pics of their wives on FB on special occasions saying how beautiful they are! It makes me a bit sad that he would never do anything like that about me. I feel your pain OP but just have to accept that he is not going to suddenly start taking pics when he never has!!
My DH is like this too. I have just bought a phone tripod with Bluetooth switch. Once the DC are old enough, get them one of those kidizoom cameras, guaranteed lots of bad photos of you and videos! Or let them have an old phone. It’s really interesting to see what they think is important and worth remembering of the places you’ve visited.
TwoZeroTwoZero · 25/07/2021 16:51

Photography just isn't important to some people so they don't think to get the camera out. You have to ask instead and explain what you want.

I do it as a hobby and therefore take loads of my dc and dh but he never takes any of me. I bought my dc a camera each (those kiddizoom cameras) and they used to take photos of me and of each other when they were little; now they have mobile phones with cameras but rarely use them!

I take a lot of selfies now.

GCAcademic · 25/07/2021 16:51

I can beat that. DH has thousands and thousands of pounds of photographic equipment and never takes any pictures. The bloody massive heavy film camera comes on every holiday and sits in its bag the whole time. All of our photos come from my phone and DSLR which he looks down his nose at.

SmileyClare · 25/07/2021 16:52

@Piccalily19

Yep same! My little boy is 6 months old and I seem to have about 200 photos of him and his dad and about 4 of me and him that aren’t selfies
I think 200 photos of dad and baby is excessive and 4 or 5 of you and baby is enough?

If your dh takes an average of 4 photos of you and his son every 6 months then by the time he's 18, you'll have 144 photos of mum and son.

I agree, it's a real shame if there aren't any taken. Phillippa12 It's sad that you only have 2 of you and your late daughter. I hope you can treasure the memories you have of her Flowers

Dyrne · 25/07/2021 16:57

I hate this snotty attitude that taking photos apparently means you’re not “being in the moment” or some bollocks.

It’s possible to take a few snaps without it destroying the flow of the day, especially when posters specifically say they miss photos of them interacting with their children - so the whole point is that they want their DH to snap the odd photo so you’re not stopping the kids forcing them to pose etc.

My memory is absolutely shit and it really upsets me that I have very little photos of some close loved ones before they passed away; and as I get older I can’t remember childhood holidays etc so those “in the moment memories” are gone.

As a result I always try and snap a few photos when out and about. It’s great because coming across old photos can often prompt a memory that would otherwise be forgotten, and it’s lovely to reminisce.

Soubriquet · 25/07/2021 17:09

Same Sad

I have hundreds of photos of my kids and plenty of them with daddy. I have a handful of me and that was only because of selfie mode

MrsMop1964 · 25/07/2021 17:32

I hardly ever take photos. We didn't have a camera in my childhood and when others got theirs out I hated having my picture taken. It just doesn't occur to me to take them at all.

Vinorosso74 · 25/07/2021 17:44

Yes! DP takes photos if we visit his sister and kids. Rarely takes photos of DD. He says he doesn't take photos of me as I don't like them. I once said to him, you never take photos of me when I look half decent so he rarely bothers.
I hate loads of photos especially around the house but there is a balance and it's lovely to look back on photos.

BogRollBOGOF · 25/07/2021 17:45

Photos are important to me as I lost my dad young and it's one of the few things left.
Fortunately my family were more into photos than DH's. His family has a handful of pictures, mostly all lined up for whoever's turn it was to take communion that year.

I do selfies which aren't the same as a more natural shot but they still stir memories of what we were doing like giggling after a day of sledging. I do sometimes ask DH to take some of me doing something with the DCs although he's not great at pausing to think about the angle or focusing the image.
It's just not a "thing" to him.

Donationwitheverypack · 25/07/2021 17:48

I don't take many photographs, in fact the best times of my life are the ones with fewest photos. I find when I'm loving life, I'm too busy living it to remember to take the pictures. It always seems a shame to interrupt perfect moments for a photo.

ChubbyMsSunshine · 25/07/2021 18:13

"Also if my OH takes the children out for the day on his own to the beach or a zoo etc he will not take a single photo No idea why."

Maybe he's just enjoying the moment or focusing of what's actually happening? No one needs photos of every single family outing.

Agree it's a shame you don't have more photos of you and your DC but you being annoyed about lack of photos of every outing is OTT in my opinion. But then again, I'm admittedly crap at bothering to / remembering to take photos..

HalzTangz · 25/07/2021 18:20

I think it's a man thing, my partner never takes pictures either, ever

Original poster
Saladcreamormayo · 25/07/2021 18:29

@Dyrne this is exactly what I mean. I don't want posed photos where we have to stop and spoil the moment, yes the odd posed family photo is nice before we head off out for the day or event. But it's the in the moment pictures that are lovely like making a sandcastle on the beach or just a quick snapshot of us walking hand in hand even taken from behind so the children aren't even aware that a pic has been taken will be lovely. I have loads of my other half like this none of me with them sadly and they are getting older now. photos can bring back lovely memories of events or times of our lives that can sometimes be forgotten. I don't have one single photo of me in my teenage years right up until my mid 20s I really wish I did as like they say that's when we are in the prime of our lives and I'd love to be able to see how youthful and lovely I looked even though I probably didn't think I looked lovely at the time! Also I have loved ones to such as my grandparents who passed away many years ago when I was a child that I only have one grainy old photo of.

OP posts:
elp30 · 25/07/2021 18:32

My husband is a professional photographer and I think the last photo he took of me was when I asked him for a headshot for my business website, five years ago. I think he may have taken a few of our kids a year or so ago and I had to ask him to take shots of the grandchildren on their birthdays. Even then, he literally took one.

It's a little baffling to me.

Arthurianna · 25/07/2021 18:38

I don't take photos, nor does DH. I might take the odd one on holiday.

Teen Dc do take them (almost exclusively of the dog though). Dd2 doesn't have a phone, but is probably the photographer of the family.

Sometimes I wish it occurred to me to take more - but it doesn't. I do treasure the ones I have though. Perhaps because there are so few it makes them more special.

Ginger1982 · 25/07/2021 18:53

I'm the photographer in our house so most of the pictures we have are of DH and DS. I have to ask him to take pics of me and DS and that makes me feel funny. I lost my Dad when I was a teenager so childhood pictures are important to me. If anything was to happen to me I would want DS to have pictures of us together.

Brownfrown · 25/07/2021 19:25

My husband is the same so I have stopped taking as many of him and ask my girl friends to take them and then they take nice ones and put a bit effort in unlike my husband who doesn’t. I think you need to accept that he isn’t going to care about it and find a second best solution.

We really don’t need as many photos as we take anyway.