Do you let your child play in the dirt?

[GoldBar]

Just curious to know what other parents' views on this are.

I was out last week with two parents with different approaches (mine is somewhere in the middle). We were sitting having coffee in an outside cafe with a garden and small play area, with grass, dirt and muddy puddles from sprinklers. Parent 1's children (aged 5 and 3) started playing with stones and twigs in the dirt, building piles of them, and ran through the muddy puddles in the grass and held their hands under the sprinklers, getting wet and filthy. Parent 1 didn't say anything. Parent 2's child (4) went to do the same but Parent 2 told them to come back and sit at the table if they were going to be 'naughty' and not play nicely. Parent 1 smiled and said she was ok with her children getting wet and dirty because they do it all the time and she always brings spare clothes. Parent 2 said she brings spare clothes too but she thinks children should be taught to look after their clothes and not get dirty just for the sake of it.

[AbsolutelyPatsy]

perhaps they were going somewhere afterwards
perhaps she had just cleaned the car

[AbsolutelyPatsy]

as Julie Andrews says, Children need play clothes, ideally made out of curtains

[2bazookas]

I'm with parent i and appalled at parent 3. Childrens play should never be inhibited by"keeping their clothes nice".

It's not as if we have to do the laundry on stones in the icy river.

[AbsolutelyPatsy]

i think parent 3 is the judge

[dottiedodah]

I am parent 1 all the way! Was brought up to be clean and tidy .However still managed to get messy ,make my socks dirty and pony tail fall out! DM would tut ,but not make a huge fuss TBF

[Comedycook]

I don't really care about the aesthetic of being messy or covered in mud but I do very much worry about dog/cat/fox poo! Also if out in public,cigarette stubs, spat out chewing gum, broken glass etc. Do the people supporting parent one, not worry about this kind of thing?

[MedusasBadHairDay]

I have fond memories of making mud pies etc as a kid, so I'm definitely parent 1. DH's family are a bit more prim and proper than my family, so he tends to be more parent 2.

[SirenSays]

I'm parent 1, kids should be messy and having fun. My sister is absolutely parent 2. No getting dirty and no chance of getting injured. I get it, as a single parent she doesn't want to spend all her life washing clothes or risk sitting in A&E for ages but it's so restrictive.

[bebanjo]

My DD would always find any water and get in it, puddles streams fountains ect, she would eat leaves, play with sticks, climb anything and everything.
But I would never let her pick anything up off the street.

[HeyGirlHeyBoy]

I don't think there is a Parent 3 Patsy...!

[Henio]

My dd has clothes especially for things like this and I just keep a few nice clothes for when I know (hope) she's not going to get filthy

[AbsolutelyPatsy]

@HeyGirlHeyBoy
i know
it was poster @2bazookaswho said she was appalled at parent 3

[JoborPlay]

@Comedycook

I don't really care about the aesthetic of being messy or covered in mud but I do very much worry about dog/cat/fox poo! Also if out in public,cigarette stubs, spat out chewing gum, broken glass etc. Do the people supporting parent one, not worry about this kind of thing?

Not particularly, but I do take a look around and would bring a dangerous area (e.g. broken glass) to my kids attention and suggest they play in a different area. We don't encounter much dog/cat poo or cigarette stubs where we go.

[AbsolutelyPatsy]

since finding out about toxicoplasmosis i think i would be more wary

i also used to make marvellous mud pies and mud ornaments
but on this occasion they were at a cafe and not at home so the story is different

[GoldBar]

Also it my culture, having a messy kid in front of others is a sign of failed parenting but I “failed” on that part ages ago.

I think Parent 2 comes from a similar culture (but perhaps not yet "failing" as her DC is always very nicely (but comfortably) dressed ). I don't think she intended to criticise Parent 1...it was all very friendly, no 'muddy puddles at dawn' stuff! But she's quite clear with her DC what they're allowed to do and doesn't change this to go along with whoever they are with.

I don't think there is a Parent 3 Patsy.

I guess I'm parent 3. Probably the worst of the bunch! I might have made lacklustre efforts to stop my child getting absolutely filthy if the other children weren't doing it but it would have required strong persuasion to get my DC to stop doing it and I just wanted to enjoy my coffee in peace. So lazy parenting on my part really...

[MarmaladeToastAndAMarmaladeCat]

I’m with parent 1. I bring spare clothes. Clothes will wash and can stick the children in the bath when we get in.

I was at the park a while ago and my son was jumping in a muddy puddle and a little girl came over wearing shiny patent shoes and a white dress and her dad hissed ‘don’t you dare go in that puddle like that naughty boy.’ I just felt sad for her to be honest. My son didn’t pick up on the naughty comment but he’s not naughty. He was wearing wellies and I’d said it was fine

[VaguelyInteresting]

I’m parent 1 UNLESS we have no spares with us for whatever reason- because DS will not wear wet clothes and just let them dry on his body, so it will totally ruin the rest of the afternoon or whatever if he gets wet early on and can’t change. If we’re on our way home, yeah fine.

I can cope with any amount of muck and mire but not bloody whinging!

[caughtinanet]

Which culture doesn't allow children to get dirty? What a shame for those children

When my youngest was at primary they'd done some kind of activity with an outside provider and when I picked my child up the leader apologised profusely for how dirty the school uniform was, the teacher who known me for some time by then just laughed and said she really doesn't care about a messy uniform. I said to the leader, why would I? I have a washing machine

[purplesequins]

so what if you don't have spares.
natural consequences - if you sit in a puddle your bottom gets wet.

[Crockof]

@AbsolutelyPatsy

someone i knew was letting her child play knicker-less in the dirt, nappy training, mum was proud of herself , i have never got over the vision of the girl sitting in the earth with no knickers on,
the sand on the beach i might have felt differently about... but i guess that is an extreme example

Your update completely changes your original post.

[AbsolutelyPatsy]

what up date @Crockof?

[Comedycook]

@caughtinanet

Which culture doesn't allow children to get dirty? What a shame for those children

When my youngest was at primary they'd done some kind of activity with an outside provider and when I picked my child up the leader apologised profusely for how dirty the school uniform was, the teacher who known me for some time by then just laughed and said she really doesn't care about a messy uniform. I said to the leader, why would I? I have a washing machine

Lots of cultures I'd imagine especially those from developing countries and/or working class, where being dirty is probably seen as a sign that you're poor. I mean if you're middle class it's a badge of honour that your children are covered in filth. Just shows what a wonderful, liberal, easy going parent your are.

[Comedycook]

*you

[Crockof]

[quote AbsolutelyPatsy]@Crockof

well this particular ground may well have had dog poo, duck poo, cig butts,
it has stayed with me but her mum was so relaxed,[/quote]
This one. Playing naked in the dirt I have no problem with, playing in dog and duck poo I would have a problem with regardless of clothing situation.

[Lemonmelonsun]

• getting messy and exploring without major unnecessary clothes and culture driven curtailments is essential to child development.
  
  It's that simple.