Do you let your child play in the dirt?

[GoldBar]

Just curious to know what other parents' views on this are.

I was out last week with two parents with different approaches (mine is somewhere in the middle). We were sitting having coffee in an outside cafe with a garden and small play area, with grass, dirt and muddy puddles from sprinklers. Parent 1's children (aged 5 and 3) started playing with stones and twigs in the dirt, building piles of them, and ran through the muddy puddles in the grass and held their hands under the sprinklers, getting wet and filthy. Parent 1 didn't say anything. Parent 2's child (4) went to do the same but Parent 2 told them to come back and sit at the table if they were going to be 'naughty' and not play nicely. Parent 1 smiled and said she was ok with her children getting wet and dirty because they do it all the time and she always brings spare clothes. Parent 2 said she brings spare clothes too but she thinks children should be taught to look after their clothes and not get dirty just for the sake of it.

[GoldBar]

Parent 1's children 'started it', in the sense that there were no dirt-playing children splashing in the puddles prior to them going to play after they had finished their snacks. Parent 2 seemed mildly annoyed that Parent 1 hadn't put a stop to it and Parent 1's children were leading her child astray so she had to intervene to put a stop to it. Parent 2 was fine with her child using the play equipment (slide, mini climbing frame, balancing beams) but not playing in the dirt.

[Cam2020]

feel sorry for the child of parent 2

Me too. Parent 2 will squash the life out of her poor child by branding normal behaviour 'naughty'.

[firstimemamma]

I'm parent 1. Used to teach early years which probably plays a big part in my thinking.

[Alannawhorideslikeaman]

Absolutely parent 1. They're exploring, investigating and having contact with nature (not to mention bugs and bacteria and stuff which is meant to be great for the immune system and skin). I don't like kids throwing sticks, but sploshing about in mud and poking the ground with sticks etc is great. I regularly made mud pies as a child!

[doadeer]

I'm parent 1. My son is autistic and loves the feel of the dirt we sometimes sit for an hour playing in the soil.

[purplesequins]

parent 1 here.

we were always when nursery or school apologised for dc having dirt on their clothes after an outing in tge park or forest school.

[MoanyNaomi]

Parent 1. They're only young once and these are great, fun experiences to be having!

[AppleKatie]

I’m parent 1 but my DC is parent 2 😂

There is no way he would have been in the mud whatever anyone else was doing.

[Dollpiglet]

Depends on the child. I have to be parent 1 with my youngest as he just won't be stopped. He will just go for the messiest activity and get irrate and screaming if I told him he couldn't. He ends up being dragged home filthy on every single outing. My DD would have taken note and played a bit but not got TOO messy.

[LolaSmiles]

Parent 1 here. Playing with sticks on the grass isn't isn't that mucky for outdoor play.

It's fine for any parent to say no to mucky /wet play at times, but never allowing it and branding it naughty behaviour is uptight.

[Whatwouldscullydo]

Parent 1 definitely.

Its also good for their immune system isn't it?

Dd2 was in and out of hospital as a baby ajd spent 6 months on prophylactic antibiotics. I swear she was always ill as a result.

As soon as she came off it alongside eating grass etc she started to become much healthier.

They need the exposure.

There are times they need to look after their clothes. Weddings and special occasions etc.

And times you dress them in something cheap or old and bring a spare and let them be kids. This shoukd he most of the time.

This is why you don't spend a fortune on baby/kids clothes. Use charity shops and hand me downs etc

[Whysotired]

Parent one here too. We have a couple spare pairs of clothes, towel, wipes and a couple bottles of water stashed in the car for times like this plus spare clothes in his bag.
My DS went through 3 pairs of clothes at the childminders last week for example.. painting, water play, mud kitchen. They wash.. My motto is with him is the messier the better.. he loved life apart from when I was trying to remove paint from his ears that night because he thought it was fun to paint them.. .

[MistyFrequencies]

Im definitely parent 1.
I do feel sorry for parent 2s child.
Sad to be told you're naughty for normal childhood play.

[OutOfTrousers]

Depends on the situation. I’m more of a Parent 1. But in the park, not in a cafe unless they weren’t planning on eating anything else or going back to the table or going inside to wash themselves off and change before leaving.

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

I was parent 1, so is dd.
I don’t like soil/earth being referred to as ‘dirt’, as if it’s a bad thing. Where would we be without it? Yes, you can get dirty playing in it, but that’s different - and that’s what water’s for.

Someone I used to know was fanatical about her little girl being dressed ‘nicely’ and staying clean and tidy. I once felt so sorry for that child - they were visiting when my two were happily splashing in the paddling pool - this poor little kid was not allowed to join in - ‘No, she’s had her bath!’ This was mid afternoon! Poor little thing had to sit still on a chair in her clean pretty dress, little white socks and shoes.
So sad.

[GoldBar]

There are some cultural differences in that I think Parent 2 comes from a culture where it is more normal to dress children up nicely (and also to be more forthright about what you are thinking rather than just going along with it!). But she is a good parent, her child is beautifully behaved and they get lots of opportunities to do fun things (which don't involve dirt ).

I personally don't have an issue with my DC playing in dirt and I think it's good for them to have messy, outside play but I probably would have steered them away from it while out with Parent 2 so their child didn't feel left out.

[mondaypillow]

@BonesJones that’s such a lovely story.

I’m parent 1, but in this situation I’d respect parent 2’s attitude and try and find a compromise so the children could play together. Play dates are hard work when your parenting styles clash.

[Badabingbadabum]

Parent 1. Unless we are going somewhere after and I didn't have spare clothes. Although I wouldn't tell them they were being naughty, just explain I needed them clean and dry and they can play in the garden later.

[romdowa]

I'd be parent one. Kids at that age outgrown clothes so quickly, let them get ruined 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[bookh]

Hmmm, not sure which I am.

Farmers wife, children brought up in dirt. Live in the mud, absolutely filthy from now till bed. BUT, not sure I would have let them do that at a cafe. Not sure why. Maybe it's not something we do very often, so if we had gone out for lunch they are more likely to be in nicer clothes perhaps.
If it was like a farm park or adventure place I wouldn't care, but if we had just gone for lunch and there happened to be a muddy outdoor play area I probably would be parent 2. On the basis not getting dirty would be the novelty for them.

[grey12]

Dirt yes, mud depends.

I don't usually carry extra clothes after their 2nd birthday. And if they don't have wellies there is no jumping in muddy puddles, have you not seen Peppa Pig????!!!

Also depends on the weather. If it's very hot that I would purposely take them to play somewhere with fountains or something

[TheYearOfSmallThings]

Depends on the context. In a cafe garden I wouldn't be encouraging DS to get filthy just for the sake of it - although if the day was very hot and the cafe had put sprinklers on for the children to play in I might make an exception.

I have friends who let their children dabble in ponds that we know have rats living around them, and I have other friends who shout "dirty!" every time their DC pick up a twig. They all turn out fine.

[TankGirl97]

I'm totally parent 1. I remember a friend telling her daughter not to go on a slide as it would make her dress dirty. Made me really sad - it wasn't even wet!

[Purpoole]

Parent 1 at home where I can vouch for what is around, but outside I’m parent 2 (without the naught/emotional comments).
I’m happy for my child to jump in puddles but wouldn’t allow him to be on the floor, in mud at a restaurant/cafe.
If he tried to follow suit I wouldn’t berate him though, but I would try to distract him.

[cookiecreampie]

I let my kids get muddy, they enjoy making mud pies on the park. However, sometimes I'll say no if they're wearing new clothes and we're going out somewhere afterwards. I don't want them walking round filthy, so I think it depends on the circumstances. You can't really judge a someone's parenting skills from one instance.