Potty training help

[Ravenclawsome]

DS is three and we are still making no inroads into potty training.

He withholds badly. The advice has always been stoop for a couple of weeks and then try again.

But we are just going in circles.

I know he needs to go. He's dancing.

I sit him down and he sits for ages with nothing but then goes almost as soon as he gets off.

We've even had the start of a poo, we put him on and he retracts it!

He starts nursery soon. What the hell do we do?!

Bump

Do you get any wees on the potty? Will he poo in a nappy/pull up? My 3 year old was a withholder, movicol was a game changer (although we needed to disimpact first as she'd been withholding for a while)

He'll only poo in a nappy. He wees more freely in a nappy but without he holds for hours until he can't manage anymore.

It's really not for want of trying.

That sounds so tough. So he'll eventually wee in the potty but withholds first?

Sorry if I'm being obvious but have you tried him just going without anything on the bottom half (no nappy/pull ups or anything?) So basically do a potty training reset?

No he sits on the potty but weed almost immediately after getting off.

This is going bare bum. If he had pants/trousers on he doesn't actually give any sign he needs to go and just wets himself.

It's made harder by the fact that his language is way behind (due to lockdown but is being investigated for hearing etc to be sure) so he can't communicate it verbally.

We had a looooooong road with DS. At 3 he was very similar. We had hundreds of accidents and it was so frustrating when he would sit on the potty or toilet for ages and nothing then poo his pants immediately afterwards.

Is nursery a problem? Our nursery were fine and really supportive, they saw changing accidents as part of their role. Even when he started school this year the teachers were very understanding.

We went on a merry-go-round of CosmoCol in all kinds of different doses and eventually it was just time. He got used to it and we got him off the CosmoCol. He still has smears in his pants a couple of times a week but it's much better. He's 5 and a half now and although I wish we did have it totally cracked it is enormous, but slow, progress

He doesn't start nursery until the end of next month

That sounds frustrating. Will he sit ok at regular intervals? So just keep asking or plonking him on every so often?

Have you read any books with him about using the potty? Maybe try a special seat for the toilet rather than the potty, maybe he'd prefer that?

My 3 year old has switched between potty/toilet at her wish- as a withholder I'd give her the choice where she wanted to go. I think she wanted privacy as she chose her bedroom at one point with the door firmly shut & me outside! Could this possibly be a factor?

Sorry if I'm not being much help, its so stressful isn't it.