How to get rid of the cats?!

[ohwerehalfwaythere]

Bloody cats pooing and digging all over my garden. Wise mumsnetters, how do I banish them?!?

The only way is to make your fence 100% cat proof.

Get a cat. (Following with interest.)

They hate citrus so some sliced orange / lemon might help?

Sprinkle male urine around the edges of the garden. This method works to get rid of foxes too

Get a goose

It’s not that expensive to buy the net and bracket system and diy fit it.

Failing that buy a cat or small dog.

Having a cat doesn't keep cats out of your garden. If you have a dog, they'll come in when the dog is inside - then the dog digs up and eats the cat crap

Put up a 'No Cats Allowed' sign.

comme ça

My neighbours had a net and bracket system that seemed to work well. The horrible cat spikes didn't, the cats could get onto them and over and could have led to injury.

If you live near a zoo or wildlife park, ask if they will let you have some lion poo. If you deposit a few piles strategically around the edge of your garden, it's supposed to frighten away local cats.

If you're not near a zoo, you can buy it online. I think Silent Roar is quite popular.

Failing that, keep a water pistol/supersoaker handy and spray water at visiting cats. It won't harm them, but is likely to put them off coming to your garden if you can spray them on several occasions.

Also a bit grim but cut human hair keeps cats off the garden as they don't like it sticking to their paws.

There you go, OP: mix the lion poo, goose poo and male urine with some human hair and orange peel, smear that everywhere, then keep the mixture damp with the water pistol. No one will come near!

@burritofan

There you go, OP: mix the lion poo, goose poo and male urine with some human hair and orange peel, smear that everywhere, then keep the mixture damp with the water pistol. No one will come near!

Grow catnip. You may get more cats, but less cat poo as they don't tend to poo near their "supply". Make sure you cover the root with something that has holes for it to grow through, otherwise they will destroy the plant(s).