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Original poster

What parenting things do other people do that you absolutely refuse to do?

471 replies

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 17/07/2021 21:08

I never bake my kids' birthday cakes. I can buy a very good supermarket one or pay someone to produce something that looks better than what I can do and has cost me less.

I won't do role playing with them. There are no scarier words than "mummy will you play with me - you be the dog and I'll be the owner". I apparently do it ALL WRONG anyway, I usually say something like "instead, why don't we do some painting" or I even say I'm busy. And I thank God every day the days of playing tea parties are over. Me perched on a very uncomfortable toadstool seat pretending to sip tea from a singing Fisher Price teacup for 2 hours and doing it wrong anyway 😂

OP posts:
Dillidilly · 19/07/2021 04:54

Never made anything for any school cake sale.
Bought Tesco flapjack, removed from packaging, put it on the paper plate sent home in their book bag, and covered it with cling film 😈

Xanadu7 · 19/07/2021 05:31

For younger ones: no devices during week, no sleepovers till secondary. For teens: no allowing any form of aggression so no shouting, hitting things/people or slamming doors.
For all: no Christmas Eve boxes, or Elf Shelf, and take turns opening presents after Christmas Dinner.

LegoVsFoot · 19/07/2021 05:40

"I don’t think that’s a recognised parenting style where people go round saying “I allow rudeness, I just love it when my child is rude”

There are parents who don't intervene, and parents who take no responsibility for controlling their kids, which IMO is the same thing.

I remember being with a former friend who was letting her child run wild, and a shop employee asked her to get her under control. Friend's response was "What do you want me to do about it? See if you can get her under control."

Interested in this thread?

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Families
MsTSwift · 19/07/2021 06:04

Who does allow aggression?! That’s not a thing you don’t allow which others think is perfectly fine!

No sleepovers is abit miserable

LimeRedBanana · 19/07/2021 06:41

No sleepovers is abit miserable

A great deal of this thread is a bit miserable!

drpet49 · 19/07/2021 07:05

@Imcatmum

Sitting by their bed patting them to sleep. Cannot believe people do that.**

^Yes because people really choose to do that don’t they? HmmSome really ignorant comments on this thread.

Gufo · 19/07/2021 07:17

Carry their bookbags and water bottles on the school run (we drive so it's 100m max and they are KS2).

Imcatmum · 19/07/2021 07:20

@drpet49 I actually do think it's a choice. There were times with all of mine I could have started that but I couldn't (too many other children) and wouldn't (terrified of getting stuck all evening/night in there room when I desperately needed some hours alone before my sleep).

It is a choice but some people don't realise it is.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 19/07/2021 07:21

Surprised at the hate for role-playing games with young kids. In my mind, they are a relatively easy way of getting 5 minutes' peace in return for occasionally neighing or making a hamster noise (negotiable). A well-chosen role avoids having to get off the sofa.

Doodledoop · 19/07/2021 07:43

I've got one - never read my kid's texts/ whats apps/ look at their phone history. I do talk to them about online safety, bullying etc - so not just negligence.

Rosegoldfan · 19/07/2021 08:01

[quote drpet49]****@Imcatmum**

Sitting by their bed patting them to sleep. Cannot believe people do that.**

^Yes because people really choose to do that don’t they? HmmSome really ignorant comments on this thread.[/quote]
Agree! Children all have different personalities and needs. This thread is now starting to come across as smug parenting.

I had one child who was a good sleeper and another who wasn't. Same with eating, temper etc. Now I could put the sleeper good eating down to good parenting but this is not the case they were raised the same. Parenting obviously does have impact but often it's down to sheer dumb luck.

Blossomtoes · 19/07/2021 08:05

[quote Imcatmum]@drpet49 I actually do think it's a choice. There were times with all of mine I could have started that but I couldn't (too many other children) and wouldn't (terrified of getting stuck all evening/night in there room when I desperately needed some hours alone before my sleep).

It is a choice but some people don't realise it is.[/quote]
Yes, it’s a choice - between doing it and sitting through two hours of ear splitting crying.

OceanTurtles · 19/07/2021 08:06

I find this thread quite sad and a little bit smug.

PrettyLittleFlies · 19/07/2021 08:15

@OceanTurtles

I find this thread quite sad and a little bit smug.
I think it's sooo competitive, like hey look at me, I'm such a cool mum I treat my children as mini adults.
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/07/2021 08:17

@OceanTurtles

I find this thread quite sad and a little bit smug.
I can see it’s become a bit like that but I will say I listed things I don’t do…all the other things people list I do, I’m sure that’s the same for others
RampantIvy · 19/07/2021 09:55

@OceanTurtles

I find this thread quite sad and a little bit smug.
I agree.
Twiggyandcrisp · 19/07/2021 09:57

I find this thread quite sad and a little bit smug.

I think this thread shows that in a lot of cases people play to their strengths which is entirely sensible and pragmatic.

I wasn't being a martyr doing crafts and imaginary play because I am a bit of a homebody and genuinely enjoyed doing those things. Equally, apart from the odd zoo, I swerved soft play and theme parks which other parents did, because I hated everything about them.

It's horses for courses. Each to their own.

My DH used to travel a lot in the early years, so I moved bedtime stories to the afternoons when I was less tired. Sometimes it's a case of whatever gets you through.

Maggiesfarm · 19/07/2021 10:40

I didn't police phones or internet.

ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia · 19/07/2021 11:16

@Maggiesfarm

I didn't police phones or internet.
What tech filters do you use instead? Please share!
Maggiesfarm · 19/07/2021 16:57

I don't, not even sure what tech filters are! I have a laptop and a mobile but I am on my own now and only I use them. My kids are over thirty.

ScrollingLeaves · 19/07/2021 17:27

“Maggiesfarm

I don't, not even sure what tech filters are! I have a laptop and a mobile but I am on my own now and only I use them. My kids are over thirty.“

Pre-smart phones when they were teens?

Maggiesfarm · 19/07/2021 21:25

They had simple phones, I can't remember what type. Ericsson I think. They upgraded as they got older as did their dad but I still use a simple Nokia, don't have a smart phone. My phone is just for making and receiving calls.

We had desk top computers back then too. I still have one upstairs, haven't used it for years and don't know if it still works!

I'm not really au fait with technology; I know enough to be able to use it but not the ins and outs of it.

ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia · 19/07/2021 21:37

@ Maggiesfarm

Thanks for your reply. You will find that tech has rapidly moved on in recent years and worryingly it is extremely time consuming to keep on top of the fast moving trends with seemingly endless apps etc on the ubiquitous smartphones today. The other concern being very young primary age children are already using mobile smartphones and tablet computers and the issue being preventing young children from excess screen time and exposure to inappropriate material. Much of this is too readily available at the click of a touchscreen.

Your children are adults and typically the age of many mums and dads of primary school children. I too remember retro mobile phones as these were more just for telephone calls and sms text than those of today being essentially pocket size mobile computers complete with all functionality and instant access to all types of media materials - much of which being dangerous and harmful to children. Hence my initial curiosity as to what software for child usage control you were using on these smartphones and smart tablet computers.

Maggiesfarm · 19/07/2021 23:24

My family keep urging me to get a smart phone and husband wanted me to have one for my birthday three years and a bit ago but I don't need one. Maybe I will one day.

Dodgy things were available on the internet twenty years ago, you either look or you don't. I don't and don't want to know, it would freak me out and I'm 61. Goodness knows what it would do to kids.

PrettyLittleFlies · 19/07/2021 23:31

@Maggiesfarm

My family keep urging me to get a smart phone and husband wanted me to have one for my birthday three years and a bit ago but I don't need one. Maybe I will one day.

Dodgy things were available on the internet twenty years ago, you either look or you don't. I don't and don't want to know, it would freak me out and I'm 61. Goodness knows what it would do to kids.

Yes "dodgy things were available on the internet 20 years ago" but now they are literally thrust in your face through cynical use of pop ups and ads, porn at every other click. Protecting children online is very challenging.