What parenting things do other people do that you absolutely refuse to do?

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

I never bake my kids' birthday cakes. I can buy a very good supermarket one or pay someone to produce something that looks better than what I can do and has cost me less.

I won't do role playing with them. There are no scarier words than "mummy will you play with me - you be the dog and I'll be the owner". I apparently do it ALL WRONG anyway, I usually say something like "instead, why don't we do some painting" or I even say I'm busy. And I thank God every day the days of playing tea parties are over. Me perched on a very uncomfortable toadstool seat pretending to sip tea from a singing Fisher Price teacup for 2 hours and doing it wrong anyway 😂

[quote CallMeRisley]@lboogy I think the PP you’ve quoted means the baby slept in the nursery (ie the baby’s room) from birth, rather than they attended childcare from birth. Some people call their baby’s room the nursery.[/quote]
Oooh lol. Thanks.

@lboogy It did take me a sec too, it was just because of the second sentence about the baby never sleeping with her that I worked it out!

I generally don't punish.
That's gonna stir up a hornets nest

The other one that always makes me is the hoo-ha around extended rear facing car seats. Irl I only know one (anxious as fuck) parent who kept their kids in rear facing seats past about 18 months max. But every once in a while on MN / FB there's someone announcing that they have their 12 year old in a rear facing seat which cost £400 and had to be imported from Sweden, but it's 5000% safer, with the implication that my kids may as well be playing on the A2. Usually the context is someone asking for car seat recommendations, and the ERFer will reply to a given recommendation with, "But that one only rear faces to - gasp - 15kg!"

I work with primary age children and they are increasingly inexperienced at baking/measuring and weighing etc which is a shame as there are so many learning opportunities. Following instructions and writing instructions is part of of the ks1 curriculum as is becoming familiar with units of measure. It’s not just fun and mess.

Thanks @lboogy i do indeed mean all my dc had their own bedroom (nursery) from birth. Never slept in our room. Christ no

Having a dd who is now 14 and went through puberty in lockdown. I felt I lost her for a bit. I missed the co sleeping hugs. Now I have to socially distance from her.
I also missed the inane chats look at me comments. It is funny how things change. She got through it though.

I hated elf on the shelf too but we moved in with my parents after my divorce and she used to look at pictures of my friend doing it on my Facebook. So my Dad did it for her. Wasnt hard or elaborate. She loved it.

I can bake a sponge and we did many over the years.I just can't cut or decorate it into anything that looks remotely good.

I never did party bags but gifts that fit the theme. Pirate party I have them a chest of choc coins. Science- a conical flask with m and m's. A pony party- a soft my little pony.

I also have never set a screen time limit. This is probably a Mumsnet no no.

As for my own now older teens, I never did Christmas Eve boxes, PJs, elfves or primary sleepovers.
I didn’t give out chores but I was strict on manners, sitting down to eat together and tidying up after themselves and bedtimes.

Baking is fab. An activity with something nice to eat at the end of it. Dd2 now 12 always enjoyed it and now bakes on her own producing very nice cakes with minimal input from me.

Elf on the Shelf
Christmas Eve boxes
Shared a bath or shower
Been to DisneyWorld

Unless it was a formal occasion I never chose DD's outfits once she could dress herself.
I also only brushed her hair once a day in the morning before she went to school...weekends, unless she brushed it herself it didn't get done.

MsTSwift As soon as she was old enough dd asked if dh could make her birthday cakes or even better Sainsbury’s 🙁. Sore spot for me. My cakes taste nice but look like a 5 year old made them however hard I try. Caught on film is one of dds friends saying “what an odd cake” as I brought it out. Just not my skill set.
Hugs, exact same here, people mistake my buns for the kids having made or decorating them. Sil is amazing and it took me years to make peace with my baking being for fun, her's being the one used for parties etc

SarahBellam Pushed them at sport. One DC competes a national level and some of the parents are just awful. I feel so sorry for their kids. I often wonder what those parents will do with their lives when their kids inevitably leave (most people top out by 18).

There's a great documentary on Netflix about a group of kids followed through training for a big golf tournament. The kids are mostly if not all really sensible and have great heads on their shoulders re sportsmanship, being fair, learning to lose. Most are extremely rich but what stood out was one of the dad saying it breaks them financially but it was the family's only shot at having money so they had to. You could absolutely see the stress (but the little girl was still one of the nicest kids and he was a lovely dad but it was awful)

I see some posters are doggedly defending their habits & preferences
Spectacularly missing the point of the thread. The strap line is What parenting things do other people do that you absolutely refuse to do? that’s pretty explicit clue in the title, esp absolutely refuse. Expect to read that one of your enduring habits or preferences is not undertaken by someone else. Expectation is you read it, think oh,really and move on. Not that you rock up and argue and name call , vehemently defending the foible or habit you place so much value in. You’re not really going to convince or disavow someone of their opinion.

I don't bake cakes because I'm bad at it and the supermarket does it better!
When they were little I was never keen on crafts or playdough.
Otherwise yeah, like most parents I make sacrifices and do a bunch of stuff i wouldn't otherwise enjoy (standing at the side of a swimming pool for hours a week while DD trains, playing role play when they were little, putting nursery rhymes on in the car, whatever they wanted really). But if they enjoy it then I enjoy it on the whole.

@Benjispruce5

I work with primary age children and they are increasingly inexperienced at baking/measuring and weighing etc which is a shame as there are so many learning opportunities. Following instructions and writing instructions is part of of the ks1 curriculum as is becoming familiar with units of measure. It’s not just fun and mess.

Oh we bake with the kids, and cook with them too (my DD can make a mean cheese sauce) but I just wouldn’t ever inflict any of our results on a birthday party as they taste and look terrible!!

Sleep training
Share child on social media
Christmas Eve box
Buy plastic toys

Headbands on baldy baby. Hell no. Looks like Phil Mitchell in a dress

Never had best clothes, they picked their own tastes and styles and wire what they liked.
No FB photos or endless posts.
No photo cards, elf or matching Pjs.
No chores
No homemade birthday cake, they picked a theme and I sourced it.
No homemade costumes for dressing up days
Never smacked
Never forced them into hobbies or sports.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

Never had best clothes, they picked their own tastes and styles and wire what they liked. No FB photos or endless posts. No photo cards, elf or matching Pjs. No chores No homemade birthday cake, they picked a theme and I sourced it. No homemade costumes for dressing up days Never smacked Never forced them into hobbies or sports.

Great list, Yes to all Except I give them chores

Baking (and aftermath) and craft (and aftermath) were my ploys to reduce time available for role play!!

Oh we bake with the kids, and cook with them too (my DD can make a mean cheese sauce) but I just wouldn’t ever inflict any of our results on a birthday party as they taste and look terrible!!

You need better recipe books

Sleep training
Baby sleeping in a separate nursery
Toddler groups - we go swimming once a week and to a free art class but the majority of them are expensive (and abit screechy)

@BertieBotts

FYI, many theme parks in the UK are not of a great standard, eg paths and floor are plain concrete, little attention to theme or immersion into a different world.
I only say this as you mentioned you would like the Harry Potter studio there are theme parks that are about so much more than just rides... Usually not in UK though but in Europe or beyond. Puy du foy for instance... Is a series of massive shows you go and watch, about viking, huge viking ship comes out of the water, or the roman collisum show with lions, chariots and loads more. Its won loads of awards

Another one in France is themed round machines, space age type machines you go on it's very scienxy.

Then if your dc want to feel they are in Harry Potter and swish around with cloaks on.. There is the efteling in Holland with its unique sproosksbroom.. Ie fairy tale wood.. Where they can be spend hours running around looking in this huge real wood at the world's largest story book come to life in stunning highly themed surroundings (eg block paved paths, wicker bins proper lanterns for light pole) , made with real sustainable materials.

When I was little I adored baking and craft and games, dress ups, picnics and board games so I have wanted to provide those for my own kids. The difference is that as a kid I had older siblings to do a lot of those things go with me whereas I only have two kids so it falls to me to facilitate. Mostly I loved it when they were little but I do remember feeling glad when they had friends for the pretend play and board game times in particular! Thing is, it's all over pretty quickly and then it's back to having things clean and tidy again so no great hardship and they really do love it, I am glad I bothered.

Kates boy,

Dc get phones so young, my dd from secondary and all her friends have the Google track on.
When she comes out of school and I am early I can see where she is to collect her, if she goes to the park we can see where she is etc she has never mentioned it, we don't spend all our time tracking her just literally to know where she is when we need to find her!
It's hugely reassuring as well.