What have you done out of politeness that you really didn't want to?

[BroccoliRob]

I phoned to make an appointment with the dentist today and they offered me a couple of appointments that weren't suitable. The third one she offered me I accepted. I realised as I was writing it down and while she was still on the phone that I can't make it as it will be too tight to collect kids. I could have spoken up and said at the time, but having already turned down two appointments I felt like she was going to think I was a pain in the arse.
I'm now going to have to phone back up and cancel.
Things like this have happened to me loads over the years (I really should grow a pair)
Anyone else have any tales of extreme politeness/Britishness?

Just say, actually that doesn't work for me.

No apology required.

Stop doing this shit!

Ah, yes as treasurer for a charity group. Really didn’t want to do it. But got the ‘two pronged approach’ from other committee members. Felt very guilty and so said yes.
Resigned within the year and left the group for good.

My whole life is made up of doing things out of being too polite to say no ! Explains my poor mental health for parts of my adult life.

Various kids birthday parties.
Endless weekends wasted.
The kids could not care less about going/not going
I loath it.
Already been sent two “save the dates” for September kids parties (under the age of 5) and they were sent in JUNE.
Clearly designed so you can’t possibly say no without just saying “no”.

Oh god how long have you got

My whole life is misplaced British politeness

I once pretended to be hypnotised in a bar in Cyprus. Hopped round the bar like a fecking kangaroo whilst desperately trying to work out how to get to the exit so I could leave Now any suggestion of audience participation gets a firm "no thank you!"

@CantStandMeow

I once pretended to be hypnotised in a bar in Cyprus. Hopped round the bar like a fecking kangaroo whilst desperately trying to work out how to get to the exit so I could leave Now any suggestion of audience participation gets a firm "no thank you!"

Audience participation = the fear

I once (when much younger) had an actual relationship because I felt rude turning the guy down. Thankfully I've got a lot better at assertiveness since then.

Only last week I tipped a hairdresser £10 and said my highlights looked fantastic when really I looked like George Michael circa 1985.
Inside I was crying.

Holy crap!! Absolutely howling at George Michael hair do!!!!

I was once approached in the street by someone collecting for a charity and I happily agreed to give him a donation, thinking I had some spare change in my purse. I then realised I actually didn't have any. Feeling awkward, rather than doing the sensible thing of saying I couldn't give him any money after all, I just handed him the £10 note that I did have! Argh.

@bringincrazyback

I once (when much younger) had an actual relationship because I felt rude turning the guy down. Thankfully I've got a lot better at assertiveness since then.

🤣 How long for? How did you end it?

Far too many!

Looking after other people's vile children, attending an Ann Summers party, buying from a lovely friend who sells body shop at home even though I couldn't afford the overpriced products. I'm not safe to be left alone

Happily, fewer and fewer the older I get. The past year has made it even easier.

I’ve done pretty much everything mentioned here (with the exception of the swimming party, ugh) but now I use “no, that doesn’t work for me.” Like someone else said, I don’t have much spare time so I’m going to use what I have to please myself. I’ll offer to help if I have the time though, and if the person needing help isn’t a CF.

Just last week I said no to a friend who seemed to think I have nothing better to do than sit around waiting for her call, and good lord, the guilt trip I got in return. Vindicated.

I got married! I knew it was a mistake by the time the day came but was too embarrassed to back out.

I've spent the last 13 years paying for that mistake.

Nothing.
Especially if im paying for a service like private dentistry ffs! I pay$400 for a 6month check up so im sure as hell getting an appointment that works.
Same in restaurants-if something is cold,burnt or just really poor then itll be sent back- this in particular gets me riled sitting listening to people moan about stuff when they could change things or speak up -not really British to do this i know..

I can never say no to homeless people, ever!

I have even been known to withdraw from a cash machine at their insistence.

This sounds very nice but I have been known to give out £50 in a day that I really couldn’t afford.

Speakout
"I always make sure appointments are suitable for me though- and usually take the lead when booking over the phone- so I will say something like - " I'd like an appointment between 9am and 12 any morning except Friday", receptionists can then quickly scan their appointment system to find a fit. They seem more than happy to do that and saves us all time, raher than having staff rattle off lots of appointments and having to decline and then look again.
I think it is easier and more polite to staff to take the lead yourself in a situation like that- you are saving a staff member time and effort- and means fewer follow up calls, changes and cancellations.

Accepting an appointment that isn't going to fit isn't really polite at all."

This ⬆️
Speakout, I love you..... as a medical receptionist, I assure you that's a perfect way to make an appointment!
The most irritating conversations start with a request for an appt "any day this week". You offer Wednesday and they reply "Oh, no, I'm not free Wednesday. So you offer Thursday and ask does morning or afternoon suit best? "Oh, either really!" "So 10.30 in the morning?" "Oh have you nothing in the afternoon?"...... now grinding my teeth quietly "Yes, certainly, how about 3pm? "Weeeeel, Thursday doesn't really suit me, what about Friday?!" Of course, 10am on Friday?...... "I'll just go and check my diary"!!!!!
Would that they were all like Speakout!!

👀

@OliviaNewtAndJohn 😂😂😂

@maimeo

Speakout "I always make sure appointments are suitable for me though- and usually take the lead when booking over the phone- so I will say something like - " I'd like an appointment between 9am and 12 any morning except Friday", receptionists can then quickly scan their appointment system to find a fit. They seem more than happy to do that and saves us all time, raher than having staff rattle off lots of appointments and having to decline and then look again. I think it is easier and more polite to staff to take the lead yourself in a situation like that- you are saving a staff member time and effort- and means fewer follow up calls, changes and cancellations.

Accepting an appointment that isn't going to fit isn't really polite at all."

This ⬆️
Speakout, I love you..... as a medical receptionist, I assure you that's a perfect way to make an appointment!
The most irritating conversations start with a request for an appt "any day this week". You offer Wednesday and they reply "Oh, no, I'm not free Wednesday. So you offer Thursday and ask does morning or afternoon suit best? "Oh, either really!" "So 10.30 in the morning?" "Oh have you nothing in the afternoon?"...... now grinding my teeth quietly "Yes, certainly, how about 3pm? "Weeeeel, Thursday doesn't really suit me, what about Friday?!" Of course, 10am on Friday?...... "I'll just go and check my diary"!!!!!
Would that they were all like Speakout!!

I think the issue was that I was expecting them to give me an appointment in the next few weeks. I have childcare for the next few weeks so I could make it any time pretty much. But the next appointment she had was for September! So I then had to start thinking about school collection times and as I was on the spot, I took a 2.20 appointment without realising it wouldn't give me time to get to school. I will definitely call back and give some times like you suggested

Totally agree about the community meeting scenario, I am involved in a fairly high profile local voluntary initiative - which is seen as being very 'successful'. We are constantly asked to join forums, share ideas, network etc etc ... I used to get involved but after ten years the same old subjects keep coming up, no new initiatives are ever seen, different (salaried) people repeating the same old 'ideas' over and over again, groups receiving substantial grants to set up new 'projects' for exactly what we do without any outside funding - we have just got on quietly doing what we do well and now I have no hesitation in saying 'no thank you' when we are asked to join yet another 'collaborative workshop' or other such bollocks.

My quite elderly neighbour stopped me outside wanting to show me an original 60's coat of his late wife that he'd discovered in the loft. He asked would I model it so he could take some photos?

I'm far too polite to say No so offered to put the coat on. He whipped out his diary and negotiated a Saturday afternoon when I was free whilst mentioning he had more 60's gear for me to model and could I turn up in 60s make up? What?! of course I smiled and nodded along.

It was the most cringe worthy 2 hours of my life, putting on different mini skirts, a wig, knee high boots and posing awkwardly for photos. I hate having my photo taken anyway. I'm shuddering just remembering it.

@SmileyClare that's just creepy.

I can't think of many things. I did end up spending a ridiculous amount of time and money helping a friend fundraise for one of those charity trips, didn't mind too much until DH pointed out I was essentially paying for her holiday and she started another big fundraising thing the following year.

When I first met MIL and she offered me some of her homemade fruit cake, I'm not that keen on fruit cake but wanted to be polite...
...25 years later and every time we visit "Oh I know you love my fruit cake so I've made one especially for you!"