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Original poster

What have you done out of politeness that you really didn't want to?

121 replies

BroccoliRob · 12/07/2021 23:28

I phoned to make an appointment with the dentist today and they offered me a couple of appointments that weren't suitable. The third one she offered me I accepted. I realised as I was writing it down and while she was still on the phone that I can't make it as it will be too tight to collect kids. I could have spoken up and said at the time, but having already turned down two appointments I felt like she was going to think I was a pain in the arse.
I'm now going to have to phone back up and cancel.
Things like this have happened to me loads over the years (I really should grow a pair)
Anyone else have any tales of extreme politeness/Britishness? Grin

OP posts:
MrsExpo · 13/07/2021 09:59

Like others, far too many social events to count, mostly tedious corporate things when DH was working (now retired, thank goodness), eaten stuff I don't like at dinner parties (aubergines YUK!), given lifts to people when it was way out of my way ... glad to see it's not just me!

Teaandbicciesplease · 13/07/2021 10:07

I'm typing this with bogey green nails because I was too polite to tell the nail tech that no, I actually don't like that new colour you've just bought.

absolutecarnage · 13/07/2021 10:08

This is me constantly to the point where I don’t even think I can give a solid example Grin

I’m trying not to though, and do things for me by saying no more if it goes against my needs. Buddhism taught me to be more assertive with this. I believe British politeness is ingrained in us

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TooManyPlatesInMotion · 13/07/2021 10:12

Sex.
Socialising.

Sparklingbrook · 13/07/2021 10:19

I email the dentist. Blush Much easier to negotiate an appointment that’s suits that way. I give them a few option dates.

Paripale · 13/07/2021 10:20

One I find hard is not stopping to say hi to people I know when I’m out for a run. I fear I’ll look arsey and unfriendly if I just nod or wave rather than stop but if I do stop I lose momentum and it’s harder to start again.

TeenMinusTests · 13/07/2021 10:47

Parties - much better at saying no now.

Bought things in shops that are too expensive but I didn't want to say so when I found out the price.

I was very proud of myself the other day. I wanted to maybe organise some flowers for something so went into the florists. She took down what I wanted on an order form when I was just discussing generally before asking me my budget. It was more than twice what I wanted to pay. I said I'd think about it and left (went and bought a plant at half the price and used that.)

Original poster
BroccoliRob · 13/07/2021 13:50

@Teaandbicciesplease

I'm typing this with bogey green nails because I was too polite to tell the nail tech that no, I actually don't like that new colour you've just bought.
Oh dear! I once had my nails done and there was lots of colour all round the cuticles. She asked if they were ok and I said yes even though they weren't! I did email the manager once I got home and managed to get a refund but years ago I would have just put up with it. I also once paid a lot of money to have my hair bleached at a hairdresser. It burnt my scalp to the point that the skin was weeping and crusty. The hair was also yellow, with a red layer underneath. I looked like a rhubarb and custard sweet! I should have gone back and complained but I was very young and unsure what to say.
OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 13/07/2021 14:01

Shoe shops. They spend half an hour bringing you the other shoe of various pairs and you start to panic that they've spent too much of their time not to buy something.

user1494055864 · 13/07/2021 15:21

I stood at the hairdressers till with my dd to pay for my child's haircut, and she over charged me by about £7. The prices were listed in a perspex stand right next to us, but I felt too awkward to point to it and query, so I just paid. Next time it was the normal child price, so I wish I had said something at the time.

flinginflangin · 13/07/2021 16:13

I've given more money to various kids sponsored events and go fund me appeals than I can count.
I've 'liked' or shared so many social media MLM pages because I'm worried I'll look rude if I don't.
I was once late for work because I stopped to talk to my chatty friend and didn't want to interrupt her mammoth talking session to excuse myself and leave.
I once almost bought an overpriced, too-small house because an in-law relative was selling because they knew I was looking to buy somewhere and made out it was a bargain. Luckily we pulled out before It was too late but knew then I had to get better at saying no!

Original poster
BroccoliRob · 13/07/2021 16:23

I am so glad I have a DH who is not like this. There have been many occasions when there has been a HelloFresh rep/Octopus Energy rep/chugger at the door and I am standing there listening to their spiel, knowing that I have no intention of taking up their offer. If DH is in he will come to the door behind me and just say "I'm really sorry we're not interested" and shut the door.
He has also got me out of serious financial disasters where family have asked me to loan them money or co-invest on something. I think he has helped me to find the courage to say no to things.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 13/07/2021 16:30

@BroccoliRob

I am so glad I have a DH who is not like this. There have been many occasions when there has been a HelloFresh rep/Octopus Energy rep/chugger at the door and I am standing there listening to their spiel, knowing that I have no intention of taking up their offer. If DH is in he will come to the door behind me and just say "I'm really sorry we're not interested" and shut the door. He has also got me out of serious financial disasters where family have asked me to loan them money or co-invest on something. I think he has helped me to find the courage to say no to things.
It's the other way around with us. It's me that has to appear behind DH. We do now have a little sign at the front door though which appears to work though.
IndecentCakes · 13/07/2021 16:33

Having people to stay in my house, namely my husband's extended family. I am going to start refusing now, after this little break Covid has afforded me.

jacqelinedaniels · 13/07/2021 17:33

You are my people 😂 I’ve always been terrible at saying no. Everything fro hen dos to haircuts to helping at functions to proofreading …
Too many things to count.
Definitely getting better at it as I get older. It is much easier to nip things in the bud early.

jacqelinedaniels · 13/07/2021 17:33

From! Can’t proof my own posts clearly

trotpot · 13/07/2021 18:40

Oh this is me! I often accept and drink cups of tea out of politeness...I don't like tea Blush
Also at the hairdressers water or hair dryer will be too hot burning my scalp but I don't speak up I just put up with it trying to slightly move out of the way of the boiling hotness
I need to be assertive Grin

SmugglersHaunt · 13/07/2021 18:43

Ridiculously when I was younger I’d feel I had to sleep with people if they bought me a drink. Insane! Confused

FizzyPink · 13/07/2021 18:45

Oh gosh, yes to saying my hair/nails look lovely even though they’ve done a terrible job Blush

Also agreeing to visit MILs house. She is a hoarder and the house is absolutely filthy. I can’t even accept a drink there for fear of the germs on everything. Luckily covid has provided a great excuse not to visit but I’m dreading the dinner invitations starting up again. Luckily DP is equally appalled at the state of her house so pretty good with making excuses whereas I just agree politely and then dread it!

AdoraBell · 13/07/2021 18:46

Visited ILs.

Waveafterwaveslowlydrifting · 13/07/2021 18:49

Took 3yo DD to a swimming party. Got in the pool. Changed in 100 degree filthy changing rooms full of hair and plasters. Sat with 30.other mums in the tiniest party room ever to play the longest game off pass the parcel in the history of shittiness.

Much vodka was consumed that night.

Waveafterwaveslowlydrifting · 13/07/2021 18:49

Of

Yes it was shit

See Motherland swimming party episode

MrsPsmalls · 13/07/2021 19:06

Not me but a friend. We found ourselves at a Pentecostal church service and some people were called forward him being one of them. Hands were layed on him and all around him people were falling backwards 'under the power of the holy spirit' Then he fell backwards too. When he got back to his seat next to me I was amazed to hear he had felt nothing spiritual but collapsed out of politeness. That is taking it to a whole new level I feel!

Thecomfortador · 13/07/2021 19:24

I let my sister swap a nice belt that I'd been given as a Christmas present, for a cheap one she'd bought that day for about £3 in Dorothy Perkins. (Not that I have a problem with cheap or dorothy perkins in and of itself, but it didn't compare in any way to my original belt). My boyfriend at the time was a little put out, understandably as he'd given me the belt.

I've also signed up to those charity people in the street in my younger days. Thankfully managed to cancel quite quickly.

Thecomfortador · 13/07/2021 19:28

Oh I also let someone sign me up to some weird religiois sect and she started praying in tongues with me in Princes Street Gardens in Edinburgh. And stopped while I was out for a run when another religious person accosted me to try to persuade me to join her church (can't you see I'm running you dipstick). I've definitely hardended to these people over the years.