DS16 can’t get up in the morning, could there be medical reason?

[Justwakeup]

I’ve NC’d as my DCs know my usual username and I’d rather they didn’t find this.

I am at my wit’s end trying to get DS16 up in the mornings, and it’s getting to where I’m starting to wonder if I need to consult a doctor. I don’t have time to stand over him and drag him out of bed, but just telling him to get up doesn’t do anything. You can have a conversation with him that he swears later he doesn’t remember, and of course after that conversation he falls right back to sleep. Or sometimes I will ask him to repeat something I’ve just said and he comes back with gibberish. It’s irritating but I just put it all down to normal teenage body clock adjustments.

He has been at DFIL’s doing a job for him (for which DFIL is prepared to pay handsomely) but twice now over a week DFIL has complained to DH that DS has slept till noon, leaving the breakfast made for him to get cold. We are all mortified and I said I think it’s time we get DS checked to see if there is a medical reason he is doing this. DS himself agrees and is worried and wants to see a doctor to find out why he can’t wake up.

Can anyone advise what we might expect, if anything, from going to a GP? Or what he/we can do to break this? I told DS that seeing a doctor isn’t a silver bullet and the answer may just be he needs a rocket up his backside and that can only come from him, but I promised that if there was a medical reason we’d get to the bottom of it.

The overwhelmingly most likely reason is being a teenager. What time does he go to sleep? Does he stay asleep through the night? Does he snore? In the hours he is awake, is he alert and does he have energy?

Having gone through years of this with Ds1 I have come to the conclusion that he is just more of an evening person and will not change.
You could ask for blood tests etc to se if anything is physically wrong.
had he had covid or anything recently, does he feel ok once he is awake?

Just a teenager I’m afraid.
Mine is exactly the same.
Even his HORRIFIC horrendously loud alarm doesn’t wake him right next to his bloody head.

I make him go to bed before 11 each night. (Mine just turned 18) but HAS to get up for his apprenticeship so there is no choice but to stand over him.

Every bloody morning. It’s painful.

Sounds like a normal teen.

I have an identical 16 yr old boy. It's just idleness/ having been up half the night on phone/ xbox etc.

Look up delayed sleep phase disorder and non 24 hour sleep disorder. Common in teens but you are unlikely to get a diagnosis I would say. Thankfully most people grow out of them but sadly not everyone. my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/14295-delayed-sleep-phase-syndrome-dsps-in-children-and-adolescents

Really?

My teens sleep until noon

I think it’s normal in the hols, as they socialise/game/binge watch stuff at night

I guess I mean 'yes, normal teen' but we should understand that there is a biological mechanism at play making it harder for them to sleep at the 'normal times' and wake at the normal times. Well proven. Not lazy. But may need to plan around it and follow recommended strategies consistently to manage.

Don't assume it is just being a teen and a good idea to get it checked out especially if it is new for him, although it could still be teen sleep patterns. If he goes to bed at 10pm, wakes at noon and is tired all day then it is not normal, if he doesn't go to sleep until 3am then waking at noon is normal. Blood tests are probably the first stage of investigation.

Hahahahaha no, totally normal teen.

Google it!

With my teen it wasn't just 'normal teen' so best to get it checked.

Could you get him a fitbit or Garmin?

You can check his sleep quality daily.

Dies he have his phone through the night? This is most likely the reason. My DD16 and DS15 have to put their phones on charge outside of their rooms by 11pm for this reason.

[quote GoWalkabout]Look up delayed sleep phase disorder and non 24 hour sleep disorder. Common in teens but you are unlikely to get a diagnosis I would say. Thankfully most people grow out of them but sadly not everyone. my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/14295-delayed-sleep-phase-syndrome-dsps-in-children-and-adolescents[/quote]
I was just coming on to say the same thing. I have delayed sleep phase disorder. Hope your son doesn't have it OP, as it's a complete ball-ache, but it and N24 are definitely things to consider.

I got glandular fever at this age, and I wasn’t kissing anyone !

Leave him to it, loud alarm and leave him to get up himself. If he misses out on things then that's up to him. Done make it your problem.

I knew someone who had to get her son up by bringing him tea and toast. She reckoned his blood sugar got low overnight and he just couldn’t wake up. She said it worked.

DSPD is a complete ball ache, I agree. Dbro has it and it has ruined a good chunk of his life until he learnt more about it and now works around it freelance part time. Can't work full time. Yet getting a diagnosis is a nightmare and no one believes it is real. However don't worry OP because it is much more common in teens and it does usually pass, pretty rare for it to continue so don't panic. Does he usually get up for college ok?

What time does he go to bed? How active is he? What is his diet like?

Thanks for replies. I’ve been asking him all the questions I can think of that a doctor might ask him, such as: whether he is tired during the day (he says no); whether he has trouble falling or staying asleep at night (sometimes trouble falling but no trouble staying asleep). Light makes no difference at all - he usually sleeps with his bedroom blind open. He is often quiet after he gets up but never surly or angry.

The one benefit of his being so mortified in front of his grandad is that he will now have to give up the phone, laptop and PlayStation at bedtime without a fuss. Maybe I’ll get him a good alarm clock (any suggestions?) to replace the phone being the alarm.

As I said, I’m prepared for this to be “normal teen” but I promised him we’d try to see if it wasn’t. He has been like this for about 4 years but it seems to be getting worse. DD14 likes her sleep too but she isn’t nearly this bad.

Honestly - what time is he going to sleep? How's his diet?

@Scarydinosaurs He usually goes to bed after DH and I do, so I don’t know what time. He would generally have access to his phone, laptop and PlayStation but as I said above, that’s going to change now and we have the leverage to make it happen. During the school term he plays sport almost every day, less in the summer holidays. Diet is pretty good, he eats a good variety of foods including fruits and vegetables and doesn’t have much access to junk during the day.

Getting him up in time for school is really a challenge. He’s on holidays now but I’m hoping next term we will have made some progress.

My DS and DD have haemochromatosis and both suffer with tiredness, they quite often need an afternoon nap. They are 18/19 and this is a recent diagnosis.
www.nhs.uk/conditions/haemochromatosis/
We had to push the consultant to acknowledge it might be that before he would run any tests, but now we have the diagnosis it helps to manage it.

You could ask the doctor to check his ferritin (iron) levels.
Lots of teens are on the lower end of normal for iron and this combined with being a teenager (late nights etc) may be a factor.

Most likely not. I never wanted to get up as a teen either and my Mum would drag my duvet cover off and take it out of the room. DH said his Mum used to pour a bucket of cold water over SIL so I got off lucky.

I don’t think this is a normal teen.
I was up very early for school, college and work, but Able to lie in when able to, so were my friends.
If he’s not up all hours on the phone, gaming and is simply to tired to wake up i would check there is nothing wrong ( i. E iron levels)