DS16 can’t get up in the morning, could there be medical reason?

[Justwakeup]

I’ve NC’d as my DCs know my usual username and I’d rather they didn’t find this.

I am at my wit’s end trying to get DS16 up in the mornings, and it’s getting to where I’m starting to wonder if I need to consult a doctor. I don’t have time to stand over him and drag him out of bed, but just telling him to get up doesn’t do anything. You can have a conversation with him that he swears later he doesn’t remember, and of course after that conversation he falls right back to sleep. Or sometimes I will ask him to repeat something I’ve just said and he comes back with gibberish. It’s irritating but I just put it all down to normal teenage body clock adjustments.

He has been at DFIL’s doing a job for him (for which DFIL is prepared to pay handsomely) but twice now over a week DFIL has complained to DH that DS has slept till noon, leaving the breakfast made for him to get cold. We are all mortified and I said I think it’s time we get DS checked to see if there is a medical reason he is doing this. DS himself agrees and is worried and wants to see a doctor to find out why he can’t wake up.

Can anyone advise what we might expect, if anything, from going to a GP? Or what he/we can do to break this? I told DS that seeing a doctor isn’t a silver bullet and the answer may just be he needs a rocket up his backside and that can only come from him, but I promised that if there was a medical reason we’d get to the bottom of it.

It’s good to get him checked. I have a narcoleptic dd. Similar symptoms to start.

Well there is no point seeking further advice until its established what time he falls asleep? If he's on his phone until 3am say its no wonder he can't get up.

Some really helpful input here, thanks so much!

I think my plan for now is to go a week with a strict “no devices” policy after 10pm. He doesn’t have to have his lights out, he can read a book (a physical book, not a Kindle) until he falls asleep but we will try to wake him between 8:30 and 9:00 each morning and see how we go. If he’s not difficult to wake up then yes we have our answer. If he is still incoherent when we wake him I will start consulting with the GP. The thing I’m worried about is getting fobbed off as some people have said their experience has been.

I appreciate that there has been little judgment of my parenting in the responses - it definitely wasn’t needed as I can see where I might have gone wrong and am committed to changing it. So 🙏 for that. 😊

But if they had low iron levels, thyroid issues and whatnot, they would ALSO be so tired in the evening that they would in bed at a decent time

High thyroid can make you restless and unable to sleep but eventually you fall asleep and then might oversleep. It does sound as if OP's son should start with good sleep hygiene and she hasn't reported any other symptoms but he is wise to seek professional help if it doesn't resolve itself in a week or two. A GP will take a detailed history and can order tests that we can only speculate about online.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor I quite agree. Let them crack on with it.

Has he learned any sleep techniques? Sounds silly I know but I slept terribly as a child and teenager, then as a young adult learned some simple breathing exercises that made all the difference.

Another one saying consider glandular fever.
Also, if he isn't taking vitamin D supplements he is probably deficient.

@DinosaurDiana was just going to say I had glandular fever at that age and it was awful. Probably affected me for two years. I used to need to sleep all the time.

I find waking up incredibly hard and always have done. I can sleep through alarms, go back to sleep immediately if they do wake me, and take a long time to get past feeling very groggy and out of it. I’ve used one of those natural light alarms in the past - has zero effect!!

I hope your son gets better at waking but he might just be like this naturally.

I couldn’t say whether it could be glandular fever or not, but will bear it in mind if I need to consult the GP.

From a baby he’s been a good sleeper, I had him on Gina Ford’s routines and I will say they worked very well for us. In the intervening years things have surely slipped a little in terms of my vigilance of his bedtime but now that we have this external confirmation that we do have a problem I can be as motivated now as I was when he was a baby to support him in working this out.

He says once he is asleep he stays asleep and he isn’t desperate to nap during the day. He doesn’t get tired and grumpy either when he gets up or during the course of the day. He’s just a completely incoherent zombie when trying to get him up.

I had this dismissed as “growing pains” from the age of 11. I was exhausted all the time, and would sleep twice a day.

I suffered with extremely low energy, going to bed early most nights and rarely going out at weekends to conserve energy for work, until I was 30 years old, when I paid for a fertility MOT.

That’s when I was diagnosed as severely anaemic and severely deficient in vitamin D3. It took a year of clinical strength supplements to get me back to healthy levels, at which point I finally realised it’s not normal to feel a bit tired all the time.

@Justwakeup

I couldn’t say whether it could be glandular fever or not, but will bear it in mind if I need to consult the GP.

From a baby he’s been a good sleeper, I had him on Gina Ford’s routines and I will say they worked very well for us. In the intervening years things have surely slipped a little in terms of my vigilance of his bedtime but now that we have this external confirmation that we do have a problem I can be as motivated now as I was when he was a baby to support him in working this out.

He says once he is asleep he stays asleep and he isn’t desperate to nap during the day. He doesn’t get tired and grumpy either when he gets up or during the course of the day. He’s just a completely incoherent zombie when trying to get him up.

You sound like a lovely mum, OP

That really means a lot @FudgeSundae

Not a teen yet by my DD 11 seemed to be incapable of getting up and really abnormally slow in the morning. Had bloods done as I was fretting and she was just in the border of serious vit D deficiency and B so she had some loading doses which helped perk her up.
Worth checking especially with lockdown the GP said kids were not getting as much daylight hours.