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Original poster

Ruckus with neighbour last night, would you avoid or go and make peace?

55 replies

Awkwardispute · 12/07/2021 08:59

Last night a neighbour two doors down was having a party, they were watching the match indoors but had loud music blaring out from his car on the shared drive area for hours - so loud it was practically just booming bass and inaudible. His guests also took to standing in our porch (which backs on to our living room) to make phonecalls and being generally very antisocial.

Eventually at gone midnight me and OH went outside where some other neighbours were gathering (equally pissed off at the noise) and we were gesturing to him to turn it down but he just shrugged. He turned it off for no more than two minutes then when we went in he put it straight back on at the same volume.

Unfortunately at this point OH lost his temper and went out shouting that if he didn't turn it off he'd rip the stereo out of the car and break it, he's had enough, the noise is upsetting our child etc. He swore.

This is out of character for OH who is generally conflict avoidant, but after putting up with it for hours he ended up having a meltdown (he has autism but the neighbours obviously don't know that)

The music went off and we were finally able to go to bed but I'm feeling quite awkward about it all today. We've never had any problems with the neighbours in all of the years we've been here.

WWYD? Avoid the neighbour (not easy) or have a chat now everybody has calmed down?

OP posts:
GaspGulpScream · 12/07/2021 09:03

Bloody hell, I think most people would have lost the plot at that level of disturbance. I would not avoid them but I wouldn't actively seek them out
It's up to them to come to you and make the peace

SpringSparrow · 12/07/2021 09:03

Good for your husband! Sounds like your neighbours were completely out of order. Sorry that you are living next door to a selfish knobhead.

OytheBumbler · 12/07/2021 09:04

To be honest, I'd wait for them to apologise. They were out of order and your DH understandably lost his temper.

Atalune · 12/07/2021 09:05

Do nothing.

No apologies. The neighbour should be coming to you with their tail between their legs.

Weebleweeble · 12/07/2021 09:06

Give it a few days at least.

ChaToilLeam · 12/07/2021 09:08

Your husband snapped and probably said what everyone else was dying to say.

Rowdy neighbour should apologise, not your DH.

Doyouforseeproblems · 12/07/2021 09:08

They were out of order not your DH. He's got nothing to be ashamed of as you were pushed to the limit, selfish arses.

Kanaloa · 12/07/2021 09:08

I wouldn’t apologise. Your DH did kick off and maybe didn’t handle it amazingly, but they were being incredibly rude and anti-social so I wouldn’t blame him much. From the sound of your lovely neighbours I wouldn’t expect an apology from them though!

BigSandyBalls2015 · 12/07/2021 09:09

Def don’t apologise ... they sound like selfish arseholes

VettiyaIruken · 12/07/2021 09:11

Don't apologise. The neighbour and their guests were out of order. It's ok to get angry with unacceptable behaviour.

HildegardeCrowe · 12/07/2021 09:13

Yes, your husband did what a lot of people would have done and your neighbours’ behaviour was a

Original poster
Awkwardispute · 12/07/2021 09:13

The noise making neighbour came and knocked on our door a few minutes after it all kicked off but I asked OH not to open it because they were drunk.. just incase things escalated.

He may have been coming to apologise there and then but with a house full of rowdy drunks in his corner I didn't want to take any chances iykwim.

OP posts:
HildegardeCrowe · 12/07/2021 09:15

Sorry, your neighbours’ behaviour was awful. Have you never seen this side of them before? They should be making peace with you, so don’t go near them and just see what happens next time you bump into them.

Mamamamasaurus · 12/07/2021 09:20

Bollocks to apologising - THEY were the selfish ones and a person's temper has limits. It sounds like your DH sorted it. Job done.

purplecorkheart · 12/07/2021 09:21

Your neighbour should be apologising to the entire neighbourhood. Sounds like your dh stood up to the knobhead.

Original poster
Awkwardispute · 12/07/2021 09:22

@HildegardeCrowe

Sorry, your neighbours’ behaviour was awful. Have you never seen this side of them before? They should be making peace with you, so don’t go near them and just see what happens next time you bump into them.
He's done similar a few times in the past but not for a while until now, it was just ridiculous last night.

Earlier on in the afternoon he said OH was welcome to join him for a barbecue so we expected a bit of noise but what went on was just ridiculous.

We say hello in passing but don't tend to have much to do with him as he seems a bit dodgy.

OP posts:
Livpool · 12/07/2021 09:23

Your DH has nothing to apologise for - neighbour is an arse.

Szyz2020 · 12/07/2021 09:23

Their guests were standing in your porch?? Shock That’s pretty antisocial never mind the music!

Osrie · 12/07/2021 09:26

Definitely do not apologise.

Original poster
Awkwardispute · 12/07/2021 09:27

@Szyz2020

Their guests were standing in your porch?? Shock That’s pretty antisocial never mind the music!
Yep.

Our front door opens directly into our living room so when somebody's in the porch you can see the silhouette and hear them from the sofa. Very distracting and cheeky.

OP posts:
Stormwhale · 12/07/2021 09:30

Definitely don't apologise! My god moat people would be fucking fuming with that level of antisocial behaviour. Good for your dh on standing up to the selfish prick.

romdowa · 12/07/2021 09:30

I don't think your husband owes anybody an apology! Your neighbour was way out of line and ignored your dh when he tried to ask him nicely to lower the noise. The neighbour needs to be the one to say sorry.

Saidtoomuch · 12/07/2021 09:31

I don't think you need to drag over it again. Your husband said his piece, it was dealt with, its over. Going forward just give a cheery hello when you see them, but don't get involved. For the safety of your husband and your family, if it happens again just call the police, you can't reason with drunks.

Original poster
Awkwardispute · 12/07/2021 09:36

Thanks for the perspectives, I think I was just a bit concerned that OH shouting and swearing lost us the moral high ground and made us seem like the aggressors.

It was just infuriating.

One of the other neighbours dog was petrified howling and hiding under the bed, our DS was crying. Just unnecessary and inconsiderate. I don't know how anybody can even enjoy music at that volume, you could barely make out the words. Just a never ending cycle of 'boooooooom'

OP posts:
SpeciminA · 12/07/2021 09:39

Honestly I don’t know how you waited that long, especially if your DS was crying. If my child was upset and couldn’t sleep I would have dealt with it hours before you did anything…

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