How much money would you give as a wedding gift?

[Orangedots]

My goddaughter is getting married and has asked all the guests For money to pay for her honeymoon.

How much would you give? I suggested £50 but my DP says it should be atleast £100.

I am not sure if it’s petty of me but we never get even an acknowledgment or thank you when we send gifts for the children so don’t feel majorly inclined to send them loads of money for their honeymoon.

How much would you send?

£30. If they'd said thanks, I'd up it to £50.
Similar situation with my niece and her husband. First baby I gave £50, and money for birthdays ( she's 6 now). Never a word of thanks. 2nd baby I don't bother. I have her a lot though, babysitting etc, especially pre covid so we have a lovely relationship.
I remember my brother giving her a card at a birthday party and explaining that he didn't buy a present ( too many toys) and just put money in the card. My brother and I waited for her to say thank you. Nothing. No one bothers anymore.
I can't stand bad manners.

Please don't give them actual gift. It will most likely end up in landfill and be a waste of the world's precious resources. I'd go for £100 if you can afford it. Nothing if you can't.

Please don't give them actual gift. It will most likely end up in landfill and be a waste of the world's precious resources.

I keep a trunkful of stuff for regifting- perfect for such circumstances.

Anything you can afford is fine. Back in the day when you had a wedding list people would put on a variety of priced gifts. When friends of mine married and I didnt have alot of money i was able to buy two glasses from a set they wanted. Another friend some if us clubbed together to buy a gift.

I've usually given £50 to someone close which is plenty particularly now. If she has form for not being grateful I wouldn't give anything.

@boringcreation

Jesus lads ye wouldn't last a day in Ireland! And are you only giving gifts to get thanked for it? We got up early in the morning the day after our wedding and made sure to thank everyone we met for coming (we thanked everyone on their way out of the church too). Thank you cards are IMO an absolute waste of money.

If you're going on your own it's 100 euros, if there are two of you then 150 euros. If you are close with the couple then 200 euros and for family then 400 plus euros. At the very very least you should give enough to pay for your meal.

Ha yeah! I lived in Ireland and was flabergasted that the 'gift' is practically seen as an admission fee. I have seen people work out how many people they need to invite to break even and then how much profit can be made. Its just yuk and as is so often the case with weddings, completely misses the spirit of the whole thing.

I normally go between £50-£100 when someone asks for money.

When we got married we were living overseas but getting married at home. I knew our family and not acknowledging gifts that we would like would not have worked. So we had a wedding website (there were a lot of logistics involved with our wedding) with some gift ideas (crystal glasses that could be bought 1 a piece, nice cutlery etc). We also suggested that people could give us a fiver to buy a brick for our one day house. We put every penny we got into our premium bonds and that money indeed went directly to our house deposit when we bought it. We had 100 people and I wrote every single one a handwritten thank you card, which acknowledged exactly what they'd given us (including the person who had folded their notes into hearts). We got between £50-£200 from each couple that gave us money but I was truly grateful for anything and had absolutely no expectation from anyone.

Re. gifts for kids... my thank you cards are long gone but I always always try to send a message to say thank you and again acknowledge the individual present (sometimes a nightmare cos people can be a bit negligent on tags and I'm not always there when the present is handed over).

Surely its just basic decency! Thanking people at the end when you've no idea what they've given you is just thanking them for coming (which can be an expensive affair for them in itself).

Lack of manners on her part means I would not give more than 50

I don't think thank you cards are a waste of money. I didn't ask for anything for my 50th but was inundated with so many lovely presents.
I got a pack of cards ( they're really not expensive!), and wrote notes to everyone ; not just a standard thanks, but something personal.

After Xmas, I sat with my granddaughter and we wrote thank you cards. It was a great activity, not just a handwriting exercise but to make her realise how lucky she is and to show appreciation.
Sorry for the rant but I really hate bad manners!!

@speakout

Please don't give them actual gift. It will most likely end up in landfill and be a waste of the world's precious resources.

I keep a trunkful of stuff for regifting- perfect for such circumstances.

And most schools have a tombola cupboard.

Why asking for money is considered rude? People usually live together before they marry, they already have toaster. I’d give £100.

Thank you cards are 100% a thing in Ireland even if you have thanked a person 10 times in person. People will be annoyed they didn't get sent any, especially the older generation. I'm afraid pp you probably were the talk of the family for awhile
For kids I don't expect a thank you card, a text or in person. I have a grand niece, gave presents the first few times - no acknowledgement- so I stopped giving. It's rude.

Anyway op for god daughter approx 200 pounds however -£50 for never saying thank you, -£50 for actually asking for cash. So £100 plus small gift or big gift plus £50.

Bloody hell there's some money floating about here!
£50 would be pushing the boat out for me!

£100

Personally I Think asking for money is rude,and I would never do it,but if people ask for it I give it

If you're not in Ireland, forget the Irish thing! It's not standard in England!

£50 is a lot of money. It's nearly a full day's work for many people. And if you don't particularly like her...

I don’t mind giving money, it saves me shopping for a gift and wondering what to get etc. I’d say probably £100

Culturally it’s money and gold jewellery as I’m Chinese but nothing is actually asked for. I think it’s the asking part that gets people’s backs up. I suppose gift registries are still asking but that used to be the norm in parts of the UK. I remember the first time I went as an adult to an English wedding. They had a gift list at John Lewis and everything was expensive. It was a University friend of mine and I bought her a colander. This was about 25 years ago and it cost £30 and was one of the cheapest items.

It’s a huge societal shift that will take a while to get used to now that most couples live together first they don’t need items. So I think money is a great idea but nit asked for,

I would think £100 for a God daughter.

I flew to my nieces wedding in America in 2019, she is American. The three day wedding at the height of the summer which meant three outfits, plus fares, hotel , plus gift of money. Not inc the costs of the extended stay was about 7k for us.

Given the history and lack of manners I'd give £30. Otherwise it would have been £50. Weddings shouldn't ever be about "covering your plate" - I invited people because I wanted them there and I wanted to share my exexperience with them, not because I wanted them to buy me things regardless of whether they could afford it or not!

@Turefu

Why asking for money is considered rude? People usually live together before they marry, they already have toaster. I’d give £100.

Not everyone does though and it's nice to have some good quality items as often things get shabby and break.

Or gift vouchers even

I haven’t been given one of those gift lists in years. The last two weddings requested no gifts, just our presence.

£50 i think is the perfect amount

Would of said £100 being god daughter but with no manors I'd go £50

Close family = £250
Friends = £150
Evening = £50

The last time we went to a wedding, dh & I gave the couple a tenner, a card and a bottle of wine. People gave us about the same for our wedding.

I keep a trunkful of stuff for regifting- perfect for such circumstances.

But nobody wants a silver photo frame. I'd not give that sort of thing to anyone else as I like to give my friends things they actually would like.

A colleague I worked with once gave one of those frames as a secret santa gift. When the unlucky recipient opened it properly it turned out to be engraved on the back - to colleague and her OH to mark their wedding day! Embarrassing for them! Still ended up in landfill.

I don't know why people get their backs up about people asking for money. I haven't been to a wedding where gifts were given in years. Money is very much standard in my circles.

Personally, I'd rather give money. I'd rather receive money. I don't need a milk jug or a toaster.