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Original poster

Cf or am I being nasty.

86 replies

Gouldengirl9 · 07/07/2021 21:46

Next week 5 of us are meeting up.
We have a group chat.
I posted the time and place at the same time as one of the non drivers asked for a lift.
I live the furthest way.
She then came back and said thank you so much for picking me up.
I hadn't mentioned in my post about picking her up.
Am I being nasty in saying that I can't pick you up as it means going past the place we are going by another 2 miles.
She lives nearer to one of the other ladies but she hasn't offered.

OP posts:
FrenchieFromGrease · 07/07/2021 23:11

She's clearly not your friend if you won't even drive 2 miles out of your way to pick her up.

Lokdok · 07/07/2021 23:13

It would have taken less effort to drive and pick her up than it did to write this pointless post. Sounds like she’s made a mistake, but you’re being mean and petty! Isn’t she your friend? If you’re not driving, suggest sharing a taxi.

Jumpingintosummer · 07/07/2021 23:20

Hmm Surely you could collect her on this occasion. Sounds like crossed wires.

Neiphin · 07/07/2021 23:24

Yes you're been nasty to say you won't pick her up and to mention her dd charge.
Why exactly are you meeting her, is she aware you hold her in such contempt?

Milomonster · 07/07/2021 23:28

Very odd post - presumably you like her enough to meet her in the group? Is there a backstory here as most kind people would not give this a second thought.

Dillydollydingdong · 07/07/2021 23:30

No, you wouldn't be being nasty

MiaRoma · 07/07/2021 23:32

@Neiphin

Yes you're been nasty to say you won't pick her up and to mention her dd charge. Why exactly are you meeting her, is she aware you hold her in such contempt?

This

MyOtherProfile · 07/07/2021 23:34

Can you just say oh how about Mary picks you up since she's so close?

Notashandyta · 07/07/2021 23:40

You clearly aren't drinking and are driving so pick her up and drop her off. Ten mins of your life to do a nice thing for a friend. Sure she will get you a drink for your 'trouble'.
What's wrong with people nowadays?

AbsolutelySure · 07/07/2021 23:41

Sorry but I'd pick her up. I've had many people pick me up when it's been out of the way and I've done the same, even by people who aren't my closest friends. If it still bothers you, I'd say you can pick her up but could someone else in the group take her back. If there's a group chat I'd put it out there

Notaroadrunner · 07/07/2021 23:43

So it's actually 4 miles out of your way as you have to go 2 miles past and then 2 miles back to the venue. Are you sure she was thanking you in the group chat - did she mention you by name? If you don't want to do it fair enough, just say you will be tight for time and won't be able to pick her up. Does she often expect that others will just collect her to bring her places?

DelphiniumBlue · 07/07/2021 23:47

Driving 2 miles here can often take half an hour, surely this all depends on where you are?

ElementalIllusions · 07/07/2021 23:49

I'm confused.

so she posted "would anyone be able to give me a lift"
and at the same time, you posted "let's meet at 2pm at the coffee shop"
and she replied, "thanks so much for picking me up"?

what did you post that she could have constituted as an offer of a lift?
why didn't you just reply, sorry I was just confirming the plans, I'm not able to offer a lift as i won't pass your house.

TheChosenTwo · 07/07/2021 23:54

There’s obviously been a misunderstanding along the way but I’d pick her up anyway. I regularly pick up a lady in our book club who lives 10 miles away from the rest of us and even further from most of the restaurants we choose to go to, she’s elderly and doesn’t like driving in the dark plus she likes a drink whereas I’m not fussed. It’s just nice to be nice!
Yeah I could not offer but the chances are no one else would (I usually fill my car with some of the others) because most people want to have a few drinks.
Anyway, for the sake of a couple of miles I’d just be nice and say you’re happy to pick her up.
She’s meant to be your friend!!

TheChosenTwo · 07/07/2021 23:56

Ps, based on what you’ve posted I’d say she’s not being a cf and you’re not being nasty, it genuinely sounds like a bit of a mixup.

Singinginshower · 07/07/2021 23:56

I meet with a group who share lifts. I enjoy the evening/lunch whatever and it is enriched by the company.
Some people can't drive for differing reasons.
Maybe the drivers in the group need to have a chat to share the load.

DeRigueurMortis · 08/07/2021 00:15

Truth is she's not fussed about the meeting.

If she was she'd....

unstabletoddler · 08/07/2021 00:19

I'd pick her up. I like my friends though.

KopparbergCazza · 08/07/2021 00:24

All of these people saying "It's only two miles, just pick her up" have clearly never had a none driver in their lives.

Can you just take me here, just take me there, just this, just that. All those 'justs' add up over the years and it it gets bloody tiring when it's constant.

ARoseDowntown · 08/07/2021 00:28

What’s wrong with one-way systems Confused Do they take longer to navigate than two-way systems?

Deadringer · 08/07/2021 00:34

Why the fuck are people suggesting the friend walks? Yes she can walk (presumably), or get a taxi, or a bus, or go on horseback or go on a fucking unicycle, but she has friends with cars who are going, so what is wrong with wanting a lift? Op if you don't want to bring her can't you just say, 'not sure yet if i am driving, maybe someone closer to X can pick her up?' But yeah i would go 2 miles out of my way for a friend.

IAmAWomanNotACis · 08/07/2021 00:36

The average speed of a person walking is 3.1 miles per hour. SO 40 minutes to walk 2 miles.

She lives nearer to one of the other ladies but she hasn't offered.

Why did this need a thread on mumsnet and hand wringing, when a message back to the group saying "Lauren is closer to you, Lauren are you okay to pick X up?"

quizqueen · 08/07/2021 00:55

You've said she lost her licence for drink driving and now can't be bothered to run a car. Right, there would never be a lift from me. Why should anyone have the expense of running a car for someone else's benefit.

Meggymoo777 · 08/07/2021 01:20

@quizqueen

You've said she lost her licence for drink driving and now can't be bothered to run a car. Right, there would never be a lift from me. Why should anyone have the expense of running a car for someone else's benefit.
Turn that on it's head... she lost her license over ten years ago and has chosen not to drive, maybe for her own and other people's safety? Maybe she doesn't trust herself? Maybe she can't forgive herself for drink driving all those years ago and feels not driving is the most responsible thing to do? Just putting another angle out there. Maybe she completely misread OPs message and genuinely thought she was offering to pick her up? Whatever it is, if OP is not driving... fine, tell the friend. If OP is driving, what is the problem with driving another 2 MILES to pick up a friend who she will gladly spend the rest of the evening in company with?
redtshirt50 · 08/07/2021 01:49

Is she not your friend? I don't see why this is an issue, I regularly go a little bit out of my way to pick friends up if they need.

Even if she was a stranger I was meeting for the first time I would probably go and pick her up.

I think you're being a bit mean.