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Just fucking say hello.

87 replies

SayingMyThing · 04/07/2021 14:29

I'm currently working in a not terribly exciting position in a hotel, bit of breakfast waitressing followed by housekeeping.
It's only part time and only temporary ( not that my employers know that)
My immediate boss is an 18 year old trainee manager.
She tends not to acknowledge me when I turn up for work so I always say hello. On my last 3 shifts she wasn't about so I cracked on with setting up for breakfast, she then appeared and gave me an instruction without so much as a good morning. I've only been there two weeks.
It's driving me mad, I'm a grown woman (graduate) who under normal circumstances is treated with a bit more respect.
Is she rude or am I a bit precious?

OP posts:
Iquitit · 04/07/2021 19:51

She may very well be following her own managers lead, my 'training' in hospitality management was
"I need you to be the DM today, here's the keys" and the door didn't hit them in the arse on the way out because they were moving too fast! I had been there 3 months and was the most experienced member of bar staff, in no way equipped to run the full hotel for 8 hours.

Thrown in at the deep end and left to get on with it with 101 issues to solve and no clue how to do it, and bollocked for getting it wrong.

You learn your management skills from those who manage you, and hospitality is not renowned for treating staff well!

You say you're used to being treated with more respect, which I get, but in general, hospitality staff are treated with little or no respect, the worst offenders being the upper management and owners/directors, so it becomes a culture.

I'm in no way saying that's right because it's the reason I left hospitality, but having experience in the area, I'd say it's more of a culture thing, and being 18 she's likely treating others how she herself has and is being treated, it's how some people think you get respect, and if they hold the hiring and firing rights, and you need the job.....
I think at 18 she's probably too young to have developed this style of management for herself because she'll lack the experience.

Justmuddlingalong · 04/07/2021 19:54

She's a "trainee" manager. The business can pay her a lower wage than an "adult" manager, she gets experience and a fancy job title.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 04/07/2021 20:00

@Iquitit

She may very well be following her own managers lead, my 'training' in hospitality management was "I need you to be the DM today, here's the keys" and the door didn't hit them in the arse on the way out because they were moving too fast! I had been there 3 months and was the most experienced member of bar staff, in no way equipped to run the full hotel for 8 hours.

Thrown in at the deep end and left to get on with it with 101 issues to solve and no clue how to do it, and bollocked for getting it wrong.

You learn your management skills from those who manage you, and hospitality is not renowned for treating staff well!

You say you're used to being treated with more respect, which I get, but in general, hospitality staff are treated with little or no respect, the worst offenders being the upper management and owners/directors, so it becomes a culture.

I'm in no way saying that's right because it's the reason I left hospitality, but having experience in the area, I'd say it's more of a culture thing, and being 18 she's likely treating others how she herself has and is being treated, it's how some people think you get respect, and if they hold the hiring and firing rights, and you need the job.....
I think at 18 she's probably too young to have developed this style of management for herself because she'll lack the experience.

I bet you didn’t get paid a manager’s wage for the day either.
NotMyCircusNotMyProblem · 04/07/2021 20:54

Mmm, I don't know. She's being rude but, I think it might be and age thing. I'm in my 50s and was always told to say good morning, good afternoon or even just hello when meeting someone. I find that the younger generation seem to have disregarded salutations altogether nowadays - my cheery good morning is often met with silence - occasionally, if I'm lucky, I get a mumbled grunt in return.

However, in your situation op, if this job is just a means to an end and your moving on, I'd just drop the greetings and get on with the tasks required.

Iquitit · 04/07/2021 21:40

I bet you didn’t get paid a manager’s wage for the day either

And you'd win that bet @BeingATwatItsABingThing

It took another month to get 15p above nmw for the privilege too......

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 04/07/2021 22:14

@Iquitit

I bet you didn’t get paid a manager’s wage for the day either

And you'd win that bet @BeingATwatItsABingThing

It took another month to get 15p above nmw for the privilege too......

Shock Angry
Heartofglass12345 · 04/07/2021 23:38

I don't think 18 year olds should be managing anyone to be honest!

JustGiveMeGin · 05/07/2021 06:21

She's rude, whether she is 8 or 18 she knows perfectly well that a morning greeting is polite.
If she doesn't she isn't ready to be a manager (I would hate to work anywhere that thinks a school leaver is suitable for a management position but that's just me).
I have no time for shite like this and she would have only pulled that stunt once with me (trainee) manager or not.

JustGiveMeGin · 05/07/2021 06:24

Oh and it isn't the OP'S job to help teach her manners etc, all this talking about helping her with a few well timed jokes.....sod that, if she wants to be a manager she needs to act like one!

girlmom21 · 05/07/2021 06:27

If you've got a problem with her approach, address it like an adult, like you would if your manager was 50.

Her age and your qualifications are irrelevant.

NewYearNewTwatName · 05/07/2021 06:47

it's not her age.

I work with a 30 something, and she is like this too. She's good at her job, but is rude and arrogant, and she really comes across as despising people. Unless they are worthy of her interaction.

Thing is when she goes too far and is pulled up on it, it's all tears and poor me I don't know I'm doing it blah blah blah lots more sobbing. She's just a bully.

The manager does need pulling up on it now, or she will continue for years. How and who pulls her up, I don't know.

Kinsters · 05/07/2021 07:31

I used to work with a guy like this, he was a senior manager and never said hello. I treated it like a joke and always said a cheery good morning to him whilst being privately amused at his lack of response - eventually he started responding. Quite a nice guy but a bit socially awkward and really, really not a morning person

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