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Original poster

Anyone else forgotten what hard work entertaining is?

79 replies

ConcernedAuntie · 04/07/2021 11:24

Was talking to a friend on Friday afternoon and said to her “come round and watch the football at ours, I’ll do some food”. I don’t like football but I thought it would be great for DH to watch it with other interested people.

Had a quick think about what to cook and DH said he would go and get everything on my list – great as I was out Friday evening. Bearing in mind it would only be 4 of us, the bill came to nearly £80!

Saturday morning, got up and made two desserts. Decided that as I had done the housework on Thursday morning I had better have a quick whizz round with the duster and cleaned the loos, sinks. DH hoovered through again. Decided to get the table set and discovered a stain on my only large tablecloth so that had to be washed, dried and ironed. As it is probably 2 years since I used it, it was probably put away by my late, much missed MIL whose eyesight wasn’t that good. Getting the ‘best’ plates and dishes out I thought they looked a bit dusty as also not used for 2 year so they needed washing, ditto the ‘best’ glasses.

Prepared all the ingredients for the made from scratch curry and went for a shower and washed my hair.

Had set everything up to eat outside and about 4.00 it looked like it might rain and the forecast didn’t look great so we moved everything into the conservatory.

Started to prepare the curry and under-estimated the time it would take to prepare prior to putting in the oven for an hour so had only just cleared the kitchen when friends arrived. Left the rice simmering and poured the drinks. Lovely. Went back into the kitchen and the rice had boiled over all over the hob so needed to clean that before it dried on too hard.

Served up the food, was really pleased with the curry as I had not made that one before, and we had a lovely evening so all worth it.

Is it just me or does it take anyone else a whole day to cater for one meal for four people?

OP posts:

Comedycook · 04/07/2021 11:26

Yeah, anytime I've had friends round for food, it's cost me so much,I've realised it would have actually been cheaper for me to pay for everyone to go to a restaurant.

HarrietHairbrush · 04/07/2021 11:27

If it was just the 4 of us I wouldn’t have been changing tablecloths or getting the best China out. Actually we don’t have any best China

Gladioli23 · 04/07/2021 11:32

I don't own any best china and I don't change the tablecloth. Yes, re tidying and cleaning but I view that as being for my benefit too really. Cooking wise I'm pretty careful to only do things that I can shove in the oven and ignore as a rule, otherwise I get hot and bothered.

Pre-covid I would do a party for 10-25 maybe twice a year and I do usually have to take a day off to prep for that: but that would involve producing 3 sorts of homemade cakes/patisserie e.g. eclairs, cupcakes and a cheesecake (say) as well as usually scones, salad, homemade bread, and then sorting drinks out too. Party usually starts mid-afternoon so I don't like to just leave it to the day to sort that lot out.

But I enjoy hosting and catering so I make sure the things I'm cooking facilitate that enjoyment.

TheGenealogist · 04/07/2021 11:35

I wouldn't have made 2 desserts. One dessert is plenty. Last time I had people over we had a cold starter of tuna nicoise salad and crusty bread, bouef bourgignon which had been prepared that afternoon and was in the oven, and a cold cheesecake dessert which i'd made the night before.

Original poster

ConcernedAuntie · 04/07/2021 11:35

@HarrietHairbrush

If it was just the 4 of us I wouldn’t have been changing tablecloths or getting the best China out. Actually we don’t have any best China

You have not seen the state of our everyday china. For a start it's over 50 years old. Had it as an engagement present.

OP posts:

Comedycook · 04/07/2021 11:41

It really depends on your own standards. I wouldn't have people over unless my house was spotless and food was prepped and there were drinks available so no one went short. I know plenty of people like me. I also know people in laws for whom it wouldn't even cross their mind to tidy up for guests prepare anything special or buy in food

woodhill · 04/07/2021 11:49

I know exactly what you mean OP. Hard work

Deadleaf29 · 04/07/2021 12:17

I welcome the impetus to clean the house and have a shower, but I wouldn’t include that in the work of hosting, it just needs doing anyway.

But I don’t do fabric table cloths (wipe clean all the way!) or best china and I certainly wouldn’t make a choice of desserts for four people. For “come over and watch the football” food I’m not sure I’d even make dessert or make a curry from scratch. In my social circle “watch football” food would be pizza, crisp type nibbles and a bought dessert on regular plates. Probably not even at the table. Dead easy, prep time approx half an hour.

Deadleaf29 · 04/07/2021 12:20

(I’d also not be dusting on Saturday if I last cleaned and dusted on Thursday! I would probably clean the downstairs loo and sink. That’s about it. I wouldn’t even be redoing multiple bathrooms- guests here don’t go upstairs and even then, if I did it on Thursday how dirty could it get!)

coodawoodashooda · 04/07/2021 12:22

Yeah I'm a single parent and long before covid became fed up off how expensive and exhausting it was entertaining.

PacifyLulu · 04/07/2021 12:24

I think the curry from scratch is where the time went to. Pick easier recipes maybe?

whattodo2019 · 04/07/2021 12:25

a totally agree. Had friends round on sat -

Brought new bright place mats
Lovely flowers for the table
Slow cooked lamb leg
Made pistachio meringues and sorbet
Made a polenta cake for afternoon tea, brought some fancy coffee beans and delicious earl grey
Cleaned house to to bottom
Jet washed the terrace

Went to bed at8pm exhausted

Horehound · 04/07/2021 12:25

For a dinner with 4 folk to watch footy I'd not have made two desserts tbh. Buy a second tablecloth.
The rice thing...meh

You chose to make a curry from scratch. I'd have made chilli or lasagne and it would have cost half the price.

EssentialHummus · 04/07/2021 12:29

I dunno OP. Do you (really) enjoy making curries etc? If so crack on. If not there are other ways. We had two friends round yesterday, first time hosting since covid really. I bought a side of salmon and a nice dessert from Cook (delivered), made three lovely salads that I could part-prep the day before, bought some fresh bread and berries, and that was about it.

I’ve previously been a champion stressy host but this was a revelation.

ShirleyPhallus · 04/07/2021 12:32

Aw no I love hosting!! It’s a bit of an arse to sort but really lovely occasion especially as guests tend to bring pudding / loads of wine / cheese / chocolate etc.

We had our terrace redone recently and it makes me so happy to be able to sit out under the fairy lights with the sun going down. Have really missed socialising before covid

LizzieSiddal · 04/07/2021 12:32

We stopped having people round for dinner, about 10 years ago, i realised I actually hated doing it and mid 40s just decided I wants to doing it anymore. It’s so much more enjoyable to just meet at a restaurant or nice pub.

If we do have people round we’ll do mid afternoon drinks with a few nibbles.

AtleastitsnotMonday · 04/07/2021 13:29

Yes hosting is quite an effort and can be expensive however I think your hosting was quite elaborate for friends to watch football. If I was invited to someone’s to watch football I wouldn’t have expected a sit down meal. Personally I would have done more of a buffet, either cheese boards, charcuterie, crackers or nice breads etc, or pizzas, garlic bread, salads etc. We do have every day and better crockery and glasses but it’s just kept in the dining room and even if I hadn’t used it for a while would have probably just given it a quick rinse or put it through the dish washer. But if I was prepping the food that job would have certainly been delegated.
And I sometimes use a table cloth at Christmas but it’s v rare and it always get put away freshly laundered, so would literally fling on the table. But 4 friends to watch footie would never warrant a table cloth.
If I offered 2 desserts one would certainly be strawberries with shop bought ice cream so no work there. The bits of the house that guests would see would be clean and tidy but if I’d cleaned Thursday it would be a quick wipe down of bathrooms and hoover, again delegated!

walkoflifewoohoo · 04/07/2021 13:35

Doubt she was expecting that for the footy. You should've just done a chilli

NutterflyEffect · 04/07/2021 13:36

I think you went to an awful lot of effort for someone to come over for a homemade curry and the football!

I'd have made one pudding, all my plates and glasses are in circulation so would have just picked the matching ones out. I dont use tablecloths as they are too much effort

For my the problem is pre pandemic I had people over fairly regularly, the house was always fairly clean. With no pressure of someone coming over my standards have definitely slipped. Its now a big effort to get my house clean for guests rather than just the top up it was before

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/07/2021 13:42

I’d have a bit of a blitz around the house, possibly put my glasses on so I can see the dust, etc., but I long ago stopped making elaborate food or fancy puds for guests. Though I used to, back when dinner parties were A Thing. Dishes that took hours of faffing.
And we don’t have ‘best’ china any more, either. Once the last lot started getting broken and I found it had been discontinued, that was it.

If people don’t like fairly simple home cooking, they’re more than welcome to stay at home. 🙂

HarrietHairbrush · 04/07/2021 13:46

@NutterflyEffect

I think you went to an awful lot of effort for someone to come over for a homemade curry and the football!

I'd have made one pudding, all my plates and glasses are in circulation so would have just picked the matching ones out. I dont use tablecloths as they are too much effort

I would ageee that the pandemic has made our tidiness standards slip

Gwenhwyfar · 04/07/2021 13:47

Why not just put some pizzas in the oven? Why does friends coming over have to be a dinner party? Or invite them a bit later so they can eat first and all you have to provide is drinks, which they will also bring themselves.
It doesn't have to be such hard work does it?

Mumblechum0 · 04/07/2021 13:48

The best thing about all the Covid stuff was that last summer we did lots more entertaining than usual, as I could just text friends to come for a sundowner in the garden, open a few bags of crisps or maybe sling a Lizzo in the oven.

No tidying, table dressing, complicated cooking, it was bliss and we had people round 3 or 4 times a week.

Now we’re allowed to entertain inside and spending a whole weekend shopping, cleaning, cooking then cleaning up afterwards I’m slightly nostalgic for 2020 😂

Gwenhwyfar · 04/07/2021 13:48

"For my the problem is pre pandemic I had people over fairly regularly, the house was always fairly clean. With no pressure of someone coming over my standards have definitely slipped. Its now a big effort to get my house clean for guests rather than just the top up it was before"

The opposite for me. At the end of lockdown I was allowed two guests, but no cafes were open for months on end so I entertained more than I've ever done in my whole life. I still only cooked twice though. The other times were drinks and nibbles or pizza from the pizza place across the road.

Mumblechum0 · 04/07/2021 13:49

Pizza, not Lizzo. I’m fond of the Queen

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