I think you need to lower your standards!
I come from a big family and there are regular but not especially frequent get togethers, on mums side alone there's over 30 of us! Although admittedly not everyone makes it every time, there's usually 20+ at least
At this point it's just accepted
A will bring dessert (usually some frozen Sara Lee or Costco job that just needs defrosting)
B will do salads
C will do dips
D will bring soft drinks, each of mum and her siblings are classed as 1 "family within the family" so each family brings own alcohol
The person hosting will do basically vats of something like chilli or curry or stew or whatever, there's always a veggie version too which covers we veggies, but also covers those watching their weight or cholesterol or whatever, and they'll make some kind of suitably accompanying carbs available - rice & popadoms with curry, rice & wraps/taco shells with chilli, nice crusty rolls with casserole - you get the idea. But main thing is a dish that can be prepped and even cooked the day before and just reheated on the day.
Paper plates and cups (where needed, most drinks come in cans or bottles), plenty of kitchen roll as paper napkins
Bags for rubbish scattered about to use
Defo wipe clean tablecloths!
Job done! Everyone has a good time, not too stressful for host...
For 4 people "come over and watch the footy" I'd keep it simpler still! Ready made snacks or at most Iceland/Costco party food that's just freezer to oven, crisps, chips & dips, drinks - sorted!
However, I remember as a newlywed getting myself in a pickle about a couple then dh had invited over for Sunday lunch WTHOUT checking with me first! It did not go well. I was only just getting to grips with doing a roast anyway, hadn't yet got to grips with timings and really wasn't confident cooking meat! Parts were over cooked, parts were cold, parts plain got binned! (Yorkies did not work out well at all I make great ones now). Dh got an earful after they left! I was so embarrassed. I came to know the lady of the couple really well and she gave me lots of tips on hosting, she was older and more experienced.
but friend's DH can't eat beef.
You seem quite rigid in your approach to food. You could have used turkey or veggie mince or made something else easy altogether, for a big pot type dinner a stew.
This particular friend is an excellent cook
Whenever celeb chefs are asked if they're fussed about what people cook for them when they're invited over they say they just appreciate not having to cook and are perfectly happy with something simple. One (I forget who) said they're favourite "off duty" meal was beans on toast! Because he hardly ever got to eat simple food