For the older ladies (I know your not all on Gransnet)

[Maggiesgirl]

How did you feel about aging. It really didn't bother me when I hit 40, or 50, but 60 was something different.

We planted a cherry tree in the garden recently and DH said that it woukd look beautiful in 20 years time. I suddenly thought, I may not be here in 20 years time!

It made me realise that the majority if my life is over, and I hate the time I wasted on stupid things. The middles years were pretty bad, with a violent H then a cheating one. Loss of children and recurring miscarriages.

I wish it could have been like the last 20 years, with my now DH, who is wonderful.
But even that has been marred by a autoimmune disease that is gradually getting worse.

I know that most of the feeling comes from the fact that my own Mum didn't make it to 60, she died just before, and its mad me realise I dont have a map I can follow.

When I turned 60 it was the beginning if the first lockdown and the planned trip were were going to do obviously didn't happen which didn't help.

Am I being just a miserable old git, or is it the world over the last 18 months, or us this how you just feel in the later ages of life?

@July2mebabywouldJuly2me

I don't want that, so I have no intention of living into my eighties

How are you going to avoid that?

I plan on doing increasingly daring high risk sports the older I get. Seriously! I'd rather die base jumping than after months of agony in and out of hospital wards screaming for morphine, choking on my own saliva and thinking my adult children dutifully visiting me are evil imposters which is how several family members in the generation above me have spent their eighties.

So here's a question.
Is the achey hip thing that stops me sleeping just par for the course since hitting 60? Or is there something I can do about it?

Hips fine all day when sitting/standing/walking. I can walk for miles. But s as soon as I'm horizontal in bed, on my side, my hips start hurting and I can't sleep. It's wearing me down slowly.

Mrsfin I suffer with hip pain too, it is so annoying. Always hits when I'm at work (senior carer). Then when I go to bed it doesn't go away.

I'm thinking of going to the GP to see if I can get stronger pain killers. It's starting to get me down lately.
I work full time, and I'm so tired.
Hips are fine during the day, it's just when I lie down.

I've been taking co-codamol and ibuprofen on and off for weeks. I keep putting off making an appointment at the GP I'm just hoping it will solve itself.

I'm so glad I found this thread, I've been nodding away agreeing with so many of you.
I turned 60 in June. It has unsettled me, if I'm honest. I always thought as I got older, I would change inside, but in my head I'm 29! This constantly surprises me - I don't think of myself as old(er). I then get a shock when I realise "hell, I'm 60!" Life has been a mixed bag, lots of ups and downs, lots of mistakes. Lots of opportunities missed...but I've let that go.
I was upset at work yesterday (am a teacher) when a younger colleague (she's early forties) asked me, in front of others in the staffroom, "Sophie, when are you going to retire?" Firstly, I thought that a bit off, asking in front of everyone, because that's my business, and secondly, I realised that yes, I'm that age when I could think about retiring. I just replied, "when I'm ready" and laughed it off. But I then brooded on it for ages. Probably being over sensitive, because like I said, I still feel 29. I like teaching, I think I'm okay at it. I have more patience with the students than some of the younger teachers, I get the SEN students and work really well with the lower sets. They seem to like me - I'm not a pushover, I'm quite strict in a quiet way, but it works. I suppose it brought me up short, that some colleagues see me as a bit past it!

I look after myself now - I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago, and have kept it off. This has helped hugely with joint pain and fatigue.

I quit drinking, another huge health benefit. I dye my hair light blonde and it looks ok in a choppy short bob. I dress fairly well, always had my own slightly boho style.

I try and live day to day and in the moment - I think working with teenagers keeps me young. Life has thrown enough curved balls at me already, so I don't assume anything. As for measuring my life in coffee spoons, nah...forget that. I also dare to eat a peach and won't wear my trousers rolled either...(guess what subject I teach)

I lost my best mate ten years ago - she was early fifties - when I'm feeling down, I think that she would love to be here - just feeling down would be enough.

It's crap getting old, but it's better than the alternative.
Soph

I found that as a new decade started I felt really positive, thought I looked ok for my age, was fit and healthy - then as the decade progresses the time passing catches me up, I develop the odd ache and pain, tooth problems. So I'm 68 this year - I've no idea where the last 30 years went, they flew by.

I have a mild feeling of panic - how will I find time to read all those great books, get my hobbies to a more serious level, see all those places?
The answer is to get off Mumsnet and DO something.
I am very fortunate and have DGCs who wear me out, but that gives me the excuse to sit and take it easy - but time is being wasted..........

I am much more interested in history, amazed at the achievements of even the most ordinary people in the past - no jumping into the car and going to the supermarket for the week's food, no switching on switches for heating and light, how organised they had to be. How skilled.

I'm in my late sixties and at the moment feeling fortunate that life is good. It's certainly not always been that way - a very mixed bag. But a difficult few middle years, divorcing my alcoholic ex, when my daughter was a toddler gives me terms of reference to realise how lucky I've been to move on and rebuild my life from what at the time seemed a disaster. This is also why I'll never take being financially secure for granted - in those years I had no job as I was a SAHM after leaving a very good career for parenthood. I had a pretty wild youth - great fun in the sixties and seventies and look back on those times with incredulity.

I like to keep up with what's current in fashion and style but adjusted to my senior years!!! I've also finally grown out my dyed blonde to grey. I think it's important to look as though you're not trying to reclaim lost youth. Certainly flat shoes i.e. brogues or trainers are definitely the way forward.

My great joy is my very small family - my lovely second husband, my daughter and son-in-law and my beautiful, demanding toddler grandson. We took a risk a couple of years ago and moved, at my daughter's request, to be nearer to them. It's been liberating and a very happy experience. It helps me to focus on positive rather than negative things and for now, life has a purpose. Creating a new garden, tweaking our house and trying to make it lovely, seeing my daughter easily rather than a long, hair-raising drive down the motorway. My husband and I also look after my grandson a couple of days a week - physically it's pretty tiring but a huge privilege to be able to do so and to be trusted with him.

I lost my elder brother a couple of years ago, and that does have the effect of making me realise that the clock is ticking. Also I'm now approaching the age when my darling mum died pretty suddenly. That certainly is thought provoking. Life can be good and then change with bad health of oneself or one's loved ones. For now my husband and I are pretty healthy apart from some managed long term, non serious conditions - thyroid for me and asthma for him. Getting my thyroid sorted out about ten years ago definitely gave me a new lease of life too.

So much great poetry and literature has the theme of the transience of youth and beauty - so elemental and true. I'm trying to change the habits of a lifetime and live in the moment. Not looking back too much or forward - apart from the sensible financial/will stuff.

Laiste, we must be the same age. I remember being certain that 2000 would never actually arrive because I would be 30 which was clearly an impossibility .

I’m almost 51 - the one thing that’s brought me up short recently is the unexpected death of a dear friend’s husband aged only 44.
I feel more authentically ‘myself’ now and don’t fear aging as it’s inevitable so what’s the point?

Really thought provoking thread.

I am 62 and writing that gives me a shock. I had so many plans for early retirement, but here I am with another full year committed. That will make me officially old when I do retire. I look back at this 'old' women I've worked with over the years, and see that they, like me, were still vibrant and smart and had more to give. But I am tired! I am ready to not have to give so much every day. I'm ready to sit back and... Be. Be me.

My heart friend died at 62 and that changed my whole view of the future. There is so much less to look forward to. Without her. I have my lovely DH and DC and DGSs. Good health and no money worries. I'm so lucky, and I know that, but I find myself wondering about how much I will need to keep going, and how I want to leave them enough to make a difference, not spend it all on lingering in care.

I am happy, but I think I'd be ok popping my clogs earlier than I would have guessed. Perhaps the pandemic has left me a little down, we will see.