You're invited to a friends for dinner at 7pm, what time do you ring their doorbell?

[suggestionsplease1]

Out of interest, feel free to post to the minute!

Let's say this is not a very, very close friend, so you don't have a pre-existing idea of their expectations / preferences for your arrival time.

After reading another thread on visitor etiquette on AIBU today I was wondering if mumsnetters can converge on a perfect time, or if there are widely differing ideas on this issue!

7.15

7pm -7:05pm

If food is to be served at 7, then I'd want to be there at 6:50pm. -6:55pm

It's like when you pick up from a party. 3pm pick up means pick up as close to that time as possible. It would be rude to be 15/20 mins late

I wouldn’t be timing the dinner for the invitation time, I’d invite people for 7 then plan to eat around 8, once we’d all had a drink

But many (most) people wouldn’t serve dinner at the time they expected people. If I invited people for 7 I’d expect to start eating about 7.50/8. Nibbles and drinks before hands whilst people arrive.

I'm with you on this. Do people really invite guests and serve dinner exactly at the time the invitation states? Even non drinkers might expect a soft drink and nibbles first.

7pm. I'm always miffed if someone is coming to dinner at mine and turns up 10-15 minutes late. If you're not gonna turn up on time, tell me. 5 minutes is one thing.

What? Why say 7 if you don't mean 7. I'm turning up at 7 and if you find that rude and mean 7:10-7:15 instead then say that?!
If I invited you around at 7 and you don't turn up until 7:15 without a 'I'm running late' text I'd find that rude and would stress me out you weren't coming
I'm not middle class though...

It's like when you pick up from a party. 3pm pick up means pick up as close to that time as possible. It would be rude to be 15/20 mins late

well yes, but it's a completely different scenario!

As an aside who on earth invites people around for 7, regardless of what time you want them to show up?!

Yeah it’s really nothing like pick up time...completely different thing.

7.05.

7:05

7.03pm.

@PegasusReturns

As an aside who on earth invites people around for 7, regardless of what time you want them to show up?!

People having a casual diner with friends? Yes, It's a bit early, but as it means diner around 8 - 8:30, it's not that outrageous?

Or when you invite them with their kids, so these have food first then can disappear when adults chill?

Or friends from work in larger cities, who come direct from work and don't trek all the way in the other direction to go home, and then back at yours.

Is a 7pm invit' that unusual?

7.15ish? If it was someone I didn't know. Also if I have people over for the first time and they were early it would definitely put me on the back foot and I'd be annoyed!

Amongst our circle of friends who we know well being invited for 7 would mean turn up at 8!!

6.55 - 7.05
Anything else is unacceptable

@PegasusReturns

As an aside who on earth invites people around for 7, regardless of what time you want them to show up?!

What time would you invite someone then?

DH had had some pretty serious gastric surgery (cancer) so we invite people round for dinner to arrive at 6.30 so we can have a couple of drinks beforehand and can eat between 7 and 7.30.

Last time we were invited for dinner at 8 I told our hosts that DH would like to come for a drink and the company but he wouldn't be eating. He had a sandwich before we went, and a good time was had by all. No-one was offended as everyone knew why he couldn't eat that late.

@Hoppinggreen

6.55 - 7.05 Anything else is unacceptable

that's just you, for everybody else it's very rude.

7.15ish? If it was someone I didn't know

A great way to piss people off you barely know

Why is that rude?

If it people bringing their kids I'd invite earlier than 7. If it was people without kids (as in, needed a babysitter) then I'd go later than 7 so kids were in bed.

When we were younger when no one had kids....I guess 7 was pretty standard?

@RampantIvy

7.15ish? If it was someone I didn't know

A great way to piss people off you barely know

It would piss me off if someone turned up early?

Unless you mean 7 is the time we are supposed to be eating?
If I plan to serve food at 7 I invite people to come at 6.30

No I'd invite someone for 7, expect them at 7.15 (or later) and plan to eat about 8.

Surely you don't invite based on the time you'll be serving up food. You say what time you'd like them to arrive, not 'I'm serving up at 7, be there in time for that or you won't be fed'

I had thought I might take all the time suggestions and divide them by the number of responses to come up with a 'wisdom of mumsnet crowds' perfect doorbell ringing time, but at 444 responses I don't think I have time!

Definitely a few different camps though! I think if it was plotted on a graph we would see a strong peak at 7pm on the dot, followed by similarly high responses to about the 7.15pm mark and a tapering off after that.

And a few outliers at 6.45pm and 8pm

Just goes to show people's different implicit understandings though, with several thinking any time after 7pm might be rude and others thinking any time before 7.15pm would be rude.