You're invited to a friends for dinner at 7pm, what time do you ring their doorbell?

[suggestionsplease1]

Out of interest, feel free to post to the minute!

Let's say this is not a very, very close friend, so you don't have a pre-existing idea of their expectations / preferences for your arrival time.

After reading another thread on visitor etiquette on AIBU today I was wondering if mumsnetters can converge on a perfect time, or if there are widely differing ideas on this issue!

I would aim for 7:10. Not late enough to be considered late.

I would never want to be more than 15 minutes late.

Never before 7pm. Within 10 mins of the stated time. So all those who said 7.08 I think are spot on!

7-7.10. More than ten minutes to a dinner I would find rude. I mean the food is ready and everyone is hungry.

Not any earlier than 7 either. I often find that I have to do something very last minute before the agreed time.

Between 6.50 and 7.10

Can someone explain to me why you would be deliberately late?

6.55-7.05

I would never expect people to wait around the corner counting down the minutes because they don't want to be early.
And I definitely don't understand the host not being ready or still in the bath at the time they have invited people

Can someone explain to me why you would be deliberately late?

5-10 minutes late gives the host panic time to get everything finished. Different if you’re eating at 7 though - so as others have said, it all depends on the wording ie when you’re actually eating.

This is a fascinating thread. If someone said 7pm, I'd arrive 7pm. Interesting to see how many different interpretations there are of that.

7:10 probably.

And I’d tell DH we had to be there by 18:30 so he would be ready on time

7.05 or just after. I would never be before 7pm

@TomNookk

SO confused why people are saying arriving at 7 would be rude ? i think it would be rude to turn up 20 mins late ?

Have you ever hosted a dinner party or even just a supper for friends? There's always last-minute stuff to do, including changing out of cooking/ cleaning clothing and into whatever it is you want to wear. A guest who steals those precious minutes by turning up early is outrageously rude. And because those of us who host know how fraught that last half-hour can be we offer the kindness of an extra few minutes so the host can take a few breaths and have a G+T before the next phase of work - hosting - starts. That's good manners.

7.08

@MaMelon

Can someone explain to me why you would be deliberately late?

5-10 minutes late gives the host panic time to get everything finished. Different if you’re eating at 7 though - so as others have said, it all depends on the wording ie when you’re actually eating.

Is that really a thing!? If I invite someone over I expect them to arrive on time, obviously I’m not going to tell them off if they are late but “come over for 7pm” means arrive at 7pm to me!

Some time between 7pm and 7.10pm

7-7:10

@Ninkanink

7.10-7.15 pm.

It’s really rude to turn up exactly on time, Imo - you put the host under pressure if they’re running around sorting out last minute prep.

Anything later than that is rude by virtue of being too late.

I don't get that. If you're the one hosting and telling people when to arrive, then tell them a time when you can do? If the host is one to run around stressing, they will most likely do that whatever time they've told their guests to arrive. Why should the guests have to predict the host's stress levels? The point of 'on time' is that that is when you've been invited for? So if the host has set 'on time' then as the guest, you can assume that that is a convenient time??

I'd get there 7:02 onwards, I'd be rushing if it got to 7:05 and I wasn't nearby and would arrive flustered.

It’s why traditional invitations say e.g. 7 for 7.30 i.e. arrive anytime after 7pm for a drink, and food will be served at 7.30pm. In that scenario there’s a clear window to arrive.

How odd. If I said 7 I'd expect you at 7. Unless your Sarah. Sarah I'd expect around 8 cause she's always late.

7.05 in theory. But I have ADHD so what would actually happen is that I'd spend two days obsessively planning the timing needed to arrive on time, reach the house with 20 minutes to spare, wait around the corner until it was time to arrive, get distracted at the last minute and show up flustered at 7.20.

@NoSquirrels

It’s why traditional invitations say e.g. 7 for 7.30 i.e. arrive anytime after 7pm for a drink, and food will be served at 7.30pm. In that scenario there’s a clear window to arrive.

This.

Surprised so many would be late, and would also expect a lot of threads saying “my dinner guests were late, I served food at 7 and they rocked up at quarter past!”

Be clear on when you’re eating when you invite people. Turn up ahead of the actual eating time. It’s not hard

6:59pm.

Arriving early is the height of rudeness. Shows a complete lack thought on the part of the guest. Believe me no one wants you there early to help out!

7 pm! Earlier or later is impolite

I’m now imagining those awkward moments when I have to push my husband downstairs to answer the doorbell (or see whose opened the door) and pretend to be pleased to see people who’ve arrived ten minutes before the stated time.
That means half an hour of entertaining for him, whilst I feel a need to rush and get changed, arrive smiling and realise they expect to talk just as I need to disappear into the kitchen and pop the nuts on to warm or decant the olives. Everything is thrown off kilter.
The ‘too earlies’ will be looking at their watches wondering where everyone else is and feeling a bit awkward when ‘correct time’ folk arrive and tease them for having finished a glass of fizz already.
Husband will be grumpy because wine hasn’t had time to breathe and he didn’t get a chance to have a pee beforehand.