You're invited to a friends for dinner at 7pm, what time do you ring their doorbell?

[suggestionsplease1]

Out of interest, feel free to post to the minute!

Let's say this is not a very, very close friend, so you don't have a pre-existing idea of their expectations / preferences for your arrival time.

After reading another thread on visitor etiquette on AIBU today I was wondering if mumsnetters can converge on a perfect time, or if there are widely differing ideas on this issue!

You've got to let people settle, I wouldn't like getting food sprung on me the moment I walked in the door.

So I'd arrive a few minutes after 7pm and expect drinks/a nibble first.

7.10-7.15 As pp have said it allows the hosts time for any last minute scrambles. If there are a few guests it means you likely won't all be descending at the same time and gives the hosts a few minutes to greet, take coats, organise drinks as each set of guests arrives.

@JackieCollinshasnoauthority my friend always turns up early. I've taken to telling her a different time to everyone else. She's happy thinking she is early (why she would want to be I no longer worry about), I'm happy as she is not turning up early before I've had a chance to do last minute run around.

19.00 - 19.10
I think being more than 10 minutes late is terribly rude.

Surely when you're hosting people, you make sure you're ready on time? I get that there are last minute things to do but I'm usually made up and waiting for my guests with a drink in hand by 18.45.

Not early, certainly not before 7.10.

1. I'm confused! I hate when people show up later than I've said to come. I come for when people say to.... maybe I've been committing an enormous social faux pas, but then again probably not, my friends snd family tend not to play these weird games.

I’m literal, and I’d arrive at 7pm. Equally if I invite someone for dinner at 7pm, that’s the time I’m dishing up.

Debretts says "it is best to arrive or very shortly after the time given." but that is for formal events. If I was dining with royalty, I'd be there 2 hours beforehand hanging around outside!!

*arrive at or...

Depends on the person's background. Normally I would aim for 7:05.

If they were like my family in the States, 6:45.

Italian... some time that week 😁.

If I say 7, I mean 7.

Its basic communication. I dont want to be guessing what time your going to turn up. If you can't get there for 7 fine, but tell me in advance your going to arrive at 7.30.

I would make sure I was ready for 6.30 if I was hosting, just as its rude to arrive late its also rude to be rushing around at 7 when you've invited for 7. Just get ready in advance.

I don't mind if guests are early. I cant really expect someone to turn up to within the second so anywhere between 6.50 and 7.10 would be acceptable and I really don't want my guests sitting in a cold car round the corner!

I dont think it is a class thing at a, but I really don't give a shit if this makes me working class. Theres nothing wrong with being working class

If I'd said 7 I'd mean 7. If people rocked up at 730 I'd assume they had no respect for my time and the fact I was cooking them dinner and that would totally ruin the evening for me.

I'd expect anytime after 7. But would consider anything after 7.30 (without a phone call to say they were running late) to be a bit rude.

@Halo1234

6.55 to 7.05.

this. Being late is incredibly rude, as is being early.

@LemonRoses

I’m now imagining those awkward moments when I have to push my husband downstairs to answer the doorbell (or see whose opened the door) and pretend to be pleased to see people who’ve arrived ten minutes before the stated time. That means half an hour of entertaining for him, whilst I feel a need to rush and get changed, arrive smiling and realise they expect to talk just as I need to disappear into the kitchen and pop the nuts on to warm or decant the olives. Everything is thrown off kilter. The ‘too earlies’ will be looking at their watches wondering where everyone else is and feeling a bit awkward when ‘correct time’ folk arrive and tease them for having finished a glass of fizz already. Husband will be grumpy because wine hasn’t had time to breathe and he didn’t get a chance to have a pee beforehand.

Why is it half an hour? Surely its only 10 minutes?

Yes I would expect to talk if I'm invited round for dinner. I didn't come for some decanted olives or warm nuts I came to see you. If you want your olives decanted decanted them in advance

Honestly if you want me to arrive at 7.10 thats fine, just tell me 7.10. If you say 7 I'd expect you to be fully ready in time for about 6.50.

Its bizarre to say a time and then expect your guests to arrive at another time. Why would you do that? If aiming for 7 means that you struggle to make your own deadline pretend your guests are coming at 6.50

I think in real life most people have a sense of whos house their turning up at

If its my mums or my grandmas I know I can be there from about 5.00pm if they say 7. If its my boss I'd be there at 7pm on the dot. If its someone who's an early person I wouldn't worry too much about being a bit early, if its someone who's always late I'd probably turn up a bit late. But generally I'd aim for about 7.03

I don't know about the rest of you, but after reading this thread I'm never accepting a dinner invitation again! Its way too perilous!

Somewhere between 7.05 and 7.20. Up to 7.30 acceptable, but would require an apologetic "so sorry we're running a bit late" text.

7pm and I hate it when people arrive late as I’m always ready at the time I’ve asked people round so it drives me crazy when people don’t arrive until 7.10 or 7.15 because I’m ready and waiting from 7pm.

@Ninkanink

7.10-7.15 pm.

It’s really rude to turn up exactly on time, Imo - you put the host under pressure if they’re running around sorting out last minute prep.

Anything later than that is rude by virtue of being too late.

I haven't rtft but I think it's rude to be late as I am always on time and i I say dinner is at 7 then it is ready at 7 and I would be pissed off at it going cold or overcooked while my guests were late!

So 7 is my answer!

7.10-7.15

@Rainbowsandstorms Same!

7.10/15

And if you expect to be entertained then arrive at the conventional time. Not so doing places additional stressors on the hosts.
If you arrive at 6:45 rather than 7:15, that’s half an hour too early. Lots needs doing in that last half hour.

Do you stand around twitching the nets to see if people have arrived? Very odd. Most people know the convention ( although this thread would suggest otherwise). If you just want to chat arrange coffee, don’t do it at the start of a supper party when your host is fretting about the soufflé.

Obviously earlier if they actually said dinner would be at 7. But among our friends when someone invites us for dinner and says "come at 7" that isn't actually what they mean. They mean they'll aim to be ready for you at 7 (but probably won't be, so coming 10-15 minutes late is be much kinder). They will pour drinks and have nibbles out. Dinner won't be before 8pm normally. Definitely don't turn up early or on the dot!!!