You're invited to a friends for dinner at 7pm, what time do you ring their doorbell?

[suggestionsplease1]

Out of interest, feel free to post to the minute!

Let's say this is not a very, very close friend, so you don't have a pre-existing idea of their expectations / preferences for your arrival time.

After reading another thread on visitor etiquette on AIBU today I was wondering if mumsnetters can converge on a perfect time, or if there are widely differing ideas on this issue!

7pm I cannot stand being late

6:58-7:02

7:10-15pm. If I was serving dinner at 7 I’d say to my friends ‘we’re eating at 7’. If I was going to serve up at 7.30 I’d say ‘come over at 7 and we’ll eat at 7.30’.

Diner party invitation for 7pm? Means 7:10 to 7:20.

I think we are much less strict with etiquette than people use to in the past, but even so, it's a bit awkward when people turn up on the dot, and who on earth arrives early?

[quote MargaretThatcherMilkSnatcher]@Radio4ordie but I am a white middle-class private-school-educated city dweller, as was my dad, so I guess we are the exception that proves the rule [/quote]
Haha! Well, I’m sticking with the guardian agrees with me , and we’ll just have to hope we don’t meet at a dinner party and offend one another with our lateness/early arrival!
Just goes to show that one probably shouldn’t get too irritated with people who do small things that irritate us, they probably have no idea or intention to be irritating. More forgiveness all round.

If expected time was later than 7 I think the host would say 7 for 7:30 or 7ish.

I’d ask what time they were planning to eat and arrive about 20-30 minutes before then. If it was me cooking the dinner I’d say 7 for 7.30. Or I’d say we’re eating at 7.30 so come around 7 so there’s time for a drink beforehand. I hate arriving somewhere and immediately sitting down to eat and I’m not keen on people arriving just as I’m ready to serve the food - there’s always faffing which delays things.

6:55

Clearly in the minority here but 6.50 to 6.55. Why are people arriving deliberately late?

@SilenceOfTheNaans

7pm. I can't stand being late.

Me neither. I would not think of arriving later than 7pm. How rude!

Who on earth arrives 20 minutes late.on purpose?knows it’s 7 arrives 7.20. It’s not free,or unencumbered or good etiquette to be late, it’s flaky. And rude. Turning up late marks you out as a bit of a flake or a git who simply can’t get it together

In my mind it's really rude to be 15 ir 20 minutes late. The host has said a specific time for a reason.

I arrange 7:00 to 7:30, eat at 8. Clears up the confusion and takes pressure off precise timekeeping. It's an enjoyable social event, not a job interview so why get all stressy about accurate time keeping.

My ILs used to arrive early. I was often in the shower or sometimes ended up hosting sweating, stinking and in my cleaning clothes. Being on the doorstep early is just rude.

The snobbery of some is quite appalling. And proves that etiquette is nothing to do with good manners.

Absolutely agree @saraclara

If you invited me for 7 , I'd be there for 7, maybe 7.05. If I invited you for 7 , I'd rather you be early then late and if you turned up at 7.30 I wouldn't even answer the door I'd be so upset at how late you were. It utterly baffles me why people don't just say what they mean? Why all these secret rules? 😕

We have a very clever routine ( smiles smugly )
The host DH drives over and picks us up , and we get a taxi home ( and vice versa , so DH picks up when we host )
We have a text message to say he’s leaving , so we never have to ring a bell 😀

I always think of people who arrive early as a bit needy
With me it's a mental hang up from my childhood but arriving early doesn't mean I'm on the doorstep early as that's incredibly rude (I'd have been lurking in a bush nearby counting the minutes down).

If they’re serving dinner at 7? 6.50.

If they’re saying come over at 7?

No earlier than 7.15. Cooking a naice dinner always takes longer than you think, and inevitably people arrive just as it’s all going a bit tits in the kitchen.
I like to spare people that.

@Luckingfovely

7.15. Any earlier would be terribly rude!

Eh your invited for 7pm but you think to arrive on time is rude ? I’d arrive at 7pm maybe 5 minutes before .

6.50pm- 7.10pm,

I think if you say 7, that means some time just after that, but before about 7.30 because that's when the hosts would start panicking that people aren't coming or you'd be waiting to sit down to eat. Before 7 is likely to catch the hosts before they're ready to receive guests.

We rarely have 'dinner parties' but we do an annual family gathering, in normal times of course and BIL and SIL and often one of DPs cousins are always ridiculously early so would arrive at around 6.40 while I'm still cooking, DP is still cleaning up, sorting the garden (it's an outdoor thing) and neither of us have had a shower.

Most people will get there between 7 and 7.15 and MIL will show up at around 7.40 when we're all starting to think she's got lost or had some sort of drama in her life.

If there are any Spaniards coming, they might get there about 8.30 because no-one's on time and no-one goes out to dinner at 7 pm in their world.

don't the French even have a name for that 10-15 minutes window?

The "quart-d'heure de politesse".

Pretty sure it's even more bad manners in France to arrive on the dot than it is in the UK.

If even movies and TV series make fun of people arriving on the dot, or worse, early, it's a clue

@saraclara

This country is ridiculous. No wonder so many foreigners find us not to be straightforward.

SO many people saying that turning up at 7 when you've been told 7, is rude. It's just monstrous. What a duplicitous culture we are.

I'd love for people to say what they mean when it comes to arrangements. I really would.

Obviously I'd turn up at 7. Having waited round the corner because I'm always early.

This. It was so confusing figuring this out. Where I am now (and was brought up), if you're invited for 7pm and arrived at 7.30, that would be an issue. You arrive between 7pm and 7.05pm.

6.55-7. I'd try to be exact, but would err on the side of a few minutes early.

I'm a straightforward person. If you want me to arrive at 7.15, say 7.15!