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Original poster

This year, I can't afford gifts for school staff.

83 replies

Serena1977 · 01/07/2021 12:10

I feel really bad. Previous years I have been really generous but due to furlough, covid etc I have to be more careful financially leading up to the summer holidays.

Ironically, this year my son's teacher who he's never had before has been superb and way beyond her duty so she really does deserve something compared to other years when they have been great but within the realms of normality. This time, this year's teacher has been exceptional.

I just feel guilty. I will email the head and get cards though.

Please reassure. We live in a fairly well off neighbourhood which is making me feel worse.

OP posts:
BarefootHippieChick · 01/07/2021 12:12

How many school staff would you normally buy for? Just get your son to make a lovely card for his main teacher. My friend is a teacher and although she's always grateful for the chocolates, flowers, mugs etc she receives at the end of term, she says the handmade gifts are the best because the most thought has gone into them

Rosesareyellow · 01/07/2021 12:13

A nice homemade card with a sincere note of appreciation will mean a lot. You don’t have to spend money to show appreciation.

emmathedilemma · 01/07/2021 12:13

Could you afford to bake them a cake or some treats for the staff room?
A homemade card and personal note will mean way more than any gift.

saraclara · 01/07/2021 12:15

If the teacher has been exceptional, then please just write her a heartfelt note.

I have one from years ago on my kitchen pinboard. It's incredibly special to me, and still raises my spirits on a bad day. Just knowing that I made a difference to a child and their family, to the extent that the parent would sit down and write such lovely things...
No gift could match that.

thewreckofthehesperus · 01/07/2021 12:16

Write her a letter telling her what you have said above, exceptional and gone above her duty etc. If your child is old enough maybe they could write a note/picture too.
You could bake her some cookies or brownies as a thank you which would be relatively inexpensive.
I'm sure thoughtful and homemade would be as appreciated as much as a bought gift.

Original poster
Serena1977 · 01/07/2021 12:17

@BarefootHippieChick
I usually buy for ds teacher and ds teaching assistant (he has additional needs) and dd teacher.

Usually spent around £30 each. Before I've bought alcohol, chocs, costs vouchers etc

Even a fiver is pushing it this year. Bloody covid. The effects of it is much more broader than just actually having the virus.😫

OP posts:
Original poster
Serena1977 · 01/07/2021 12:18

*Costa

OP posts:
Killahangilion · 01/07/2021 12:18

Luckily, I enjoy sewing as a hobby so I tend to make something for my son’s teacher and get DS to design and print a ‘Thank you’ card on the computer.

I live in a very rural farming area so thankfully, there are no show off parents with their extravagant gifts to be bothered about.

LiberteEgaliteBeyonce · 01/07/2021 12:19

Write to the teacher and say exactly what you wrote in your post (except the financial stuff). I am a teacher and I cherish these testimonies so much.

BabbleBee · 01/07/2021 12:19

I’m buying my daughter’s keyworker a wildflower bee bomb and will give her a handwritten note telling her how much we appreciate all she has done and recognise that she goes above and beyond.

ComDummings · 01/07/2021 12:19

A card (your child can make one I’m sure!) and an email to the head teacher about her will be more than enough, don’t worry.

TrashKitten10 · 01/07/2021 12:20

I'm a teacher. The flowers wilt, the chocolates get eaten and forgotten about and the wine goes in a cupboard (I don't really drink). The lovely heartfelt messages and cards however get stored away lovingly. We don't teach to get gifts, we teach to make a difference to these children we truly care about. To get a note telling us we've done that well is the best gift we could receive Smile

idontlikealdi · 01/07/2021 12:20

We just do a class collection everyone puts in what they want / can. Everyone gets their name on the card or the little crafty bits that are sent out. NO one knows who gives what.

I bloody love our class rep.

Nuffaluff · 01/07/2021 12:21

The cards are the thing, believe me, not the chocolates. A lovely handmade card from a child is very precious to me as a teacher. A card from a parent with a lovely message somehow means even more.

SionnachRua · 01/07/2021 12:21

They won't be expecting anything from you Flowers I'd do a card though. Those are always the best presents anyway.

SirSamuelVimes · 01/07/2021 12:21

Honestly don't worry. Teachers know they are in well paid secure jobs and that not everyone is the same. When I was a teacher I never expected gifts.

I agree re. writing a card or letter. I've left teaching now but I have kept a card from an ex student thanking me for being her teacher - I think I'll keep it forever.

BarefootHippieChick · 01/07/2021 12:21

serena £30 each!! I must be a tightwad because I've never spent more than a fiver on teachers. I don't even spend £30 on my friends !

PurpleDaisies · 01/07/2021 12:22

I actively dislike getting presents. It’s much better to get lovely cards than stacks of cake I don’t want to have to deal with.

There’s no problem with not giving a present at all. I wish schools would ban them.

Nuffaluff · 01/07/2021 12:23

A homemade bookmark (made from card and felt tips, nothing fancy) is a lovely gift. I would keep that forever if the child had put time and thought into it.

Gladimnotcampinginthisweather · 01/07/2021 12:24

I always felt embarrassed by gifts when I had been paid to do a job I enjoyed.
The letters and notes are always appreciated.
If your child makes cards with a short note for his TA and teacher and you write a letter, the teacher will feel just as appreciated.

Original poster
Serena1977 · 01/07/2021 12:25

@BarefootHippieChick

I know, it has spiralled over the years as some made it a bit competitive bringing in massive gift bags on the last day.

This year, actually she does deserve a massive gift bag etc but it is the year I can't afford to 😩

Thank you everyone for your reassurance!

OP posts:
TheHumanSatsuma · 01/07/2021 12:26

As a retired teacher, I just wanted to say that the loveliest present I had was a handwritten and illustrated thank you letter from a pupil with a tiny jar of jam she and her mum had made. Another child gave me a little bunch if flowers from her garden and a home made card. I still remember them even though the children are nearly adults now.

A hand-made card or similar is lovely, please don’t feel you have to give a gift.

MrsMoastyToasty · 01/07/2021 12:26

My DS is in year 10. I've never bought his teacher a gift.

SuperMonkeys · 01/07/2021 12:28

Our school has already emailed as they did last year, requesting no gifts etc.

I don't think I've ever sent in one anyway 🤷

Smartiepants79 · 01/07/2021 12:30

I’m a teacher and I agree. Gifts are nice but a proper message of thanks in a card will be even more special. £2 on some celebrations to go with it would be more than enough as a gesture if you want to.