This year, I can't afford gifts for school staff.

[Serena1977]

I feel really bad. Previous years I have been really generous but due to furlough, covid etc I have to be more careful financially leading up to the summer holidays.

Ironically, this year my son's teacher who he's never had before has been superb and way beyond her duty so she really does deserve something compared to other years when they have been great but within the realms of normality. This time, this year's teacher has been exceptional.

I just feel guilty. I will email the head and get cards though.

Please reassure. We live in a fairly well off neighbourhood which is making me feel worse.

I've never once given a teacher gift. I just don't think it's necessary and the teachers I know (many friends) really don't want them.

[quote Serena1977]@FlibbertyGiblets

Thank you. I am stony broke and feel that other parents will judge and now I do wonder because of what that teacher said, that my children's teachers will also judge, those that don't give presents compared to the parents that do give presents.[/quote]
Oh please don't think that the teacher at your school will be judging you, they will love a note saying how much you appreciated their hard work during a very trying time, to put in their portfolio to show Ofsted at next inspection, and to be treasured after.

Parents, we don't know if they will judge, so keep your head high anyway, they can think what they like, you know that you have been awesome through all this. (Imagine me saying nerr nerr nerr at them with my arms folded if you like)

Others have said it well but just to add my voice- some nice words in a card will be so gratefully received, honestly. It doesn't even have to be a fancy card- it's the sentiment that means a lot.

It's even worse at our school. They are doing a class.collection. but only naming the ones contributed, which I can see makes sense but also kind of calls you out for being either skint or uncaring.

As a teacher, I would much, much rather have a heartfelt letter or card than another mug/box of chocolates/whatever.

I quickly forget who gave me gifts (hope that doesn’t sound too ungrateful) but I always keep and treasure the cards and notes I get from students. Those are the students I remember.

I'm not a teacher but am in a profession where we try to make a difference in children's lives.

As others have said, the chocolates get eaten but words recognising our efforts last forever.

I honestly could cry about some of the letters we have received from children. They are valued and appreciated.

My nephew is a primary deputy head. His most treasured gift (apart from the letters and cards) was a tea towel where each child had written a small note or drawn a little picture - not their names and faces, but more personalised depending on their personality. It's totally impractical because it was handmade by the children getting creative with fabric pens rather than being done by a company, so more fragile, but he loves it.

Honestly, mugs get broken, chocolates get eaten, flowers die. I appreciate each and every thing I’ve ever received but the things that stay forever are the cards with personal messages from parents and children. Heartfelt and sincere.
I don’t keep much in the way of sentimental things full stop but I’ve kept every kind card and note given to me over the years. They mean a lot. A real big lot.
Please please don’t give it a second thought, ask your child to draw a picture of the teacher and then write a few things that she likes about them around it. I’m pretty sure this will be loved and cherished.
for having a kind heart.

Just write what you have said in a card. £30 is way too much anyway, I’d have felt uncomfortable about that when I was teaching. Honestly a card with a thank you in it means ten times more! I’ve kept all the cards like that, some parents wrote such lovely things and I was so grateful.

The message from your post was lovely and waaay better than any gift you could buy. Go with a card and write a lovely note.

I commented on another thread about gifts. I taught in inner city secondary schools for 38 years. I never expected gifts, but I cherished the cards and appreciative letters from pupils and parents.

As much as I value and respect teachers I've never done the whole "teacher's gifts arms race" as DH calls it! You shouldn't feel guilty for not giving a gift. It partly stems from knowing primary & nursery teachers who were inundated with gifts that just went in the next raffle and them and people on here saying that a card is enough, especially if made by the child.

What I have done for exceptional teachers is write a personalized note to them and one to their head. I feel that way they know how much they were valued and it's something they can use for appraisal or promotion opportunities.

As a teacher who has given my heart and soul to my class and parents this year can I please say do not worry one jot about spending any money on a gift but just let them know how much you have appreciated them in a card..those little messages are the things that keep us going in these tough times, not the gifts! Like others have said, I keep all my “special” cards and messages and they are lovely to look back on again when you’re feeling low - you can’t say that about a box of chocolates! The personal touch is always hugely valuable.

@Rainbowsew

As much as I value and respect teachers I've never done the whole "teacher's gifts arms race" as DH calls it! You shouldn't feel guilty for not giving a gift. It partly stems from knowing primary & nursery teachers who were inundated with gifts that just went in the next raffle and them and people on here saying that a card is enough, especially if made by the child.

What I have done for exceptional teachers is write a personalized note to them and one to their head. I feel that way they know how much they were valued and it's something they can use for appraisal or promotion opportunities.

That’s lovely and would be much appreciated here.

I don’t like the ‘arms race’ of gifts either, I hate that some people thinks it’s all the teachers’ idea, as well!!

Honestly do a card with a heartfelt message and an email to the head praising her. That will mean so much.
I speak as a teacher. My favourite things are the homemade cards- they are kept well beyond the presents.

I don't do teacher gifts, I just don't think they are necessary, they are doing the job they are paid for just like the rest of us.

However DD once had a teacher who made a massive impact on her. I truly appreciated her and I wrote her a card to say so. Only time I have ever done it.

Let the other parents judge and how dare they!

You are doing an amazing job keeping your family fed! A little handwritten note is more than enough.

I never bought my DSs teachers anything. It wasnt a thing back then. I cannot believe it is now!

As someone else said, it's not teachers who are asking for or expecting gifts. It's come from retailers and parents pretty much. There are ads and emails from businesses all over my screen today, advertising 'gifts for teachers'.

Virtually every teacher in this thread and on the many teacher present threads there've been on MN, has said that they value notes and cards much more. But parents still worry or feel obliged to get something. It's really sad.

I’m a primary teacher, please be reassured- I would love a drawing by your child and an appreciative note from you.

@Serena1977

I emailed ofsted and copied in the teacher, headteacher and chair of governors. I wrote all the reasons why this teacher had been exceptional this year. It cost nothing but time and it went down extremely well

A card (or even an email) means 10 000x more than a present!! I’ve worked at a school in an affluent catchment area and often teacher presents were more about competition between parents than actually saying thank you. If the true intention is to say thank you, then a card is more than enough!

Echoing the other teachers on this thread - I keep all of my cards, they are really appreciated. When a parent emails the head to thank me, the message always gets passed back and this is lovely too.

Please don't worry - they ones who judge you won't be the teachers!

Urgh. Wish I had given nothing. There was a '£10 - 20' recommended money collection going round by one of the class mums this week.

I gave £10 for it but still think it's utterly ridiculous. It's not necessary especially if you can't afford it. And it comes around both xmas and July. Like some kind of weird 'tip' for the teacher and TA.
At xmas they got a £250(T)and a £125 (TA)voucher. It's pressure, would have been awkward to decline. Even though the teacher has been atrocious.

I much prefer a sincere message in a card than something bought. It makes it about the difference I’ve made to that child/family all the more rewarding. And last much longer than something bought.

Think about what you want someone to gift you in your job. I've had chocolates and wine which have been lovely but they don't make me smile like a loony the way a heartfelt thank you does. We all tend to be hard on ourselves and doubt our abilities. Knowing someone recognises how hard you're working and that they think you're doing a fab job is worth more than all the Costa coffees in the world.