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At wit's end with my son's fussy eating

86 replies

peepopeepopeepo · 29/06/2021 10:24

Hoping someone has some advice/reassurance. My 5.5 year old is really fussy and it is seriously getting me down. I am a good cook and love food, he gets home cooked meals every day and 9 times out of 10 he won't eat them.

Under previous advice I recieved I keep putting things I know he won't eat on his plate (the wisdom seems to be you have to keep offering things and eventually they will try them), I don't make any fuss about him either eating or not eating, I don't do the rewards thing as I was advised not to, I don't offer alternatives. Again previous advice I received was to make sure his plate always has one thing I know he will definitely eat on it.

I've been doing these things for what seems like forever now and it doesn't seem to be making the blindest bit of difference. He's never been a big eater - even as a tiny baby he wasn't that fussed about milk. He's on the small side for weight for his age (though still following his line on the chart) and he takes a multivitamin but I just worry about lack of nutrients and his general complete refusal to even try new foods, even stuff I am 99% sure he would like. I involve him in cooking all the time which he enjoys but even if he's helped to cook it he still won't eat it.

He will eat:

Bread of any description - brown/white etc (but nothing with seeds)
Rice, pasta, and potatoes of any description unless they have any herbs on them. Will not touch sweet potato or butternut squash. With pasta he will only really eat fusilli or penne, he gets very suspicious of small shapes like macaroni.
for pasta sauces he'll have cheese sauce and tomato sauce (I do home made and usually try to put veg in that) on pasta but it has to be smooth, any lumps at all and he won't eat it
Cheese - cheddar only, he won't entertain trying any other cheese like feta or halloumi or even a babybel or a cheesestring
Fruit - he will eat pear, apple, mango, melon, strawberries, blueberries and nectarines
Vegetables - the major sticking point. The only one he willingly and regularly eats is cucumber. He will grudgingly eat red pepper, carrot and broccoli but only very small amounts. Apart from that - nothing.
Meat - chicken, occasionally a home made meatball, ham, sausage (we don't have the latter two much as I don't like to give him processed meat).
He'll eat yoghurt but only the petit filous sort, not plain greek or anything like that.
Crisps/chocolate/cake/sweets and so on - needless to say these aren't every day things but he's even fussy about these unlike most children - will only eat pom bears or tortilla chips for crisps, and only plain milk chocolate - like he wouldn't eat a cake with chocolate chips in it, it would have to be plain sponge. He has never tried a sweet (he's been offered one).

I've been repeatedly told he'll grow out of it but he's been like this since I weaned him and if anything he has got worse, not better.

Any advice I haven't tried?!?!

OP posts:
cleckheatonwanderer · 29/06/2021 10:29

Honestly this doesn't sound particularly fussy to me, he will eat more than my 4 year old DS and I'm not worried about him.
It sounds like he's getting plenty of variety of nutrients from what he does have, I'd just keep offering new things and doing what you're doing.

Sirzy · 29/06/2021 10:31

That sounds like a massive variety. Just feed him what he will eat rather than what you want him to eat. You can make many health balanced meals from the foods he likes

idontlikealdi · 29/06/2021 10:32

I dont think it sounds that bad tbh.

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Doghead · 29/06/2021 10:34

He eats way more variety than my son did at that age. He wouldn't touch any fruit or veg. Stop stressing about it.....just feed him what he likes. You'll be really surprised in a few years when he starts eating things by his own choice. My son is an amazing cook and these days he eats/makes things I wouldn't even try

SprayedWithDettol · 29/06/2021 10:35

For a 5 yo that really isn’t fussy. I’m wondering if you are worried about how much he is eating rather than the variety of foods.

HappyCamperT5 · 29/06/2021 10:35

That's not too bad at all 🙂

RailingOnandOn · 29/06/2021 10:36

You can get very high quality sausage.

pumpkinpie01 · 29/06/2021 10:36

That doesn't sound too bad tbh . I would just try a new food each week , my 7 year old is very reluctant to try new foods but he is now trying a new food each week.

Seeingadistance · 29/06/2021 10:36

That sounds fine to me.

RailingOnandOn · 29/06/2021 10:37

It sounds not bad tbh.
I found it extremely dispiriting too but now have big teens / twenties who eat a wide range of food. Hold on in there.

Catsmother66 · 29/06/2021 10:37

I think most kids are fussy, mine was and at 13 still is, but is getting better. Mine was exactly like yours at that age, although your list of foods is larger than mine was.. So what if he tends to eat the same things. At some point he will be interested in what’s on your plate.
It’s not worth the hassle, you will both get stressed if you try to force it.

peepopeepopeepo · 29/06/2021 10:38

OK maybe my standards are too high. When I was a kid I ate stuff like olives and avocado and cabbage salad and so on (raised by non British parents).

It's his refusal to even entertain trying new things that bothers me the most I think.

OP posts:
peepopeepopeepo · 29/06/2021 10:39

Like he wouldn't try nutella on toast the other day when my sister offered him some. What kid doesn't like nutella?!?! This is a child who loves chocolate as well.

OP posts:
Puddlelane123 · 29/06/2021 10:40

If it is any consolation OP I have two fussy eaters and at 3 and 6 I could only dream of them eating that variety! Like you I have tried all the recommendations and have yet to have any kind of breakthrough. It really gets me down as every meal is groundhog day of being rejected, often for the most spurious of reasons. Invariably they then start saying they are hungry at 3am. I despair. So all that to say that I understand totally and as much as it is easy as an outsider to be dispassionate about it, as a parent it can become so depressing to deal with day in day out.

roguetomato · 29/06/2021 10:40

I have a fussy eater with multiple food allergies and sensory issues.
It was quite bad when he was younger, but as he got older and he started to understand the importance of nutrients, he started to eat stuff that wasn't too intolerable.
Our everyday menu is still quite limited, but he seems to be growing well, so I don't get stressed about much these days.

Your ds is still young, but seems to be eating variety of things. I don't know if he will change or not, but reasoning may work as he gets older. My ds was certainly similar at your ds's age, now early teen and he eats way better than used to.

RailingOnandOn · 29/06/2021 10:41

My low point was on holiday with then 8 year old going through a stubborn antique flavour stage and we had to walk past a load of lovely looking Asian restaurants to a McDonald's. (On other days after a good breakfast we did let him eat white rice and a sliver of something else!)

CasaBonita · 29/06/2021 10:41

I think you need to chill out. He might not have the varied palette that you would like, but he eats a good range of food. I certainly wouldn't describe him as overly fussy!

RailingOnandOn · 29/06/2021 10:41

Anti flavour!

Soontobe60 · 29/06/2021 10:43

He eats a wide range of foods!
For getting extra veg in him, make a tomato sauce with loads of different veg in then once cooked purée with a stick blender.
What does it matter if he only eats 2 shapes of pasta? Or 1 type of cheese? If he eats the same foods every day, and you sneak in lots of veg, he should be fine.

peepopeepopeepo · 29/06/2021 10:43

Ok maybe I do need to chill out! I just love food so much I feel bad for him missing out on all the delicious things he could be eating.

OP posts:
IToldYouIWasCummins · 29/06/2021 10:44

My children won’t eat olives or avocado or a myriad of other things that the adults in the family eat. I don’t think that’s particularly unusual. Children have a different palate to tastes and textures which changes as we age.

As long as they are getting a variety of foods to provide the vitamins and minerals they need then I wouldn’t overly concern yourself.

ineedanewbum · 29/06/2021 10:44

Your child is not really fussy. My son literally eats steamed Potato, plain white rice/pasta, porridge, bran flakes, bread. He refused all fruit, veg and meat. Have had him to the dietician who eventually said she has tried everything she can think of and discharged us with no further help. Have had him off for blood tests to check his iron levels which are borderline but he refuses supplements bar a basic multivitamin. I would fall over with happiness if my son ate as much as your child. Count your blessings.

cleckheatonwanderer · 29/06/2021 10:46

@peepopeepopeepo

Like he wouldn't try nutella on toast the other day when my sister offered him some. What kid doesn't like nutella?!?! This is a child who loves chocolate as well.
Sometimes it can be the combination of things that puts them off (with toast for example). He's not missing out on much by not trying nutella though to be fair, it's not like it's winning any awards for the most nutritious spread.

I wouldn't worry, it sounds like he eats plenty. My 4 yr old won't eat tomato ketchup or baked beans; I mean come on!

RailingOnandOn · 29/06/2021 10:46

It will probably come in time.
Especially ime when they start eating out with friends as teens. Then it was implied our food was a bit unadventurous..

SleepingStandingUp · 29/06/2021 10:46

So he eats breads, rice, potatoes, pasta, fruit, meat, cheese, yoghurt, treats.

I get your worry over veg but just hide them in the sauces he'll eat.

He isn't adventurous, that's fine.

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