Obsessive Women Cleaners

[Ladywinesalot]

Ok so this is not about feminism (although it may turn out to be)

I like a clean house, and if I had my way my home would be a perfect show room house allll the time.

However I just can’t be asked for one and also have lots in my life, like working and social life.

So I ask who are these women who have perfect shoes room houses, and why do you?

Are you not busy in other areas if your lives? Do you have nothing else to do?

And no my DH does not clean up nor will he. Should I LTB? Probably but I won’t.

I have no instincts to have a pristine home.
I am baffled by people who do.
It's fine - they may find me baffling, too.
I appreciate super nice homes but I can never feel comfortable in one. Instant flag we don't have much in common.

I imagine we'll get a lower price when we sell due to worn carpets etc. but the waste of installing pretty decour to be ripped out the moment we leave, or having to walk around like nervous ninnies afraid to make a mess in mean time -- I can't tolerate any of that.

DH would love a show home. It's how he was raised his mother did all the work. He wasn't allowed to help. He gets irritated by our mess and does a lot of housework, for those who ask, maybe most the housework. But the place isn't pristine. He's not willing to invest the effort. My adult DC are the same moan about the mess but no one makes the big effort to keep the place pristine. Funny that. My mother supported the family & paid cleaners so she wasn't into cleaning, either: typical formula in her social circle. My parents despair of my scruffiness but I've had a whole lifetime of being 'The Weirdo' so nothing new there.

It certainly wasn't in my mum's nature to keep a clean and tidy home, and still isn't.

Us kids did the cleaning, as became more and more evident as we left home one by one. Now they have a second home and they don't clean that either. My sister and I STILL do the cleaning, but at much sparser intervals.

(If anyone wonders why, I have a cleaner for my own home, and it's the house I grew up in, so I want it to be basically looked after!)

My mum, with her second home, pontificates on "how the wealthy afford cleaners" and "what it must be like to live in a spotless home".

My house is very easy to make spotless. We don't have kids, laminate floors and no endless nicknacks. Spotless takes about fifteen minutes.

Three of the four really clean and tidy people in my life with spotless homes are men.
One of the men I'm related to. The woman is an in-law. I'm not sure of the significance but I take it that in some way I've not got the right chromosomes to clean 😂😉.

I have been stuck at home recently and trying to be more organised and all I've learned us that you have to be on top of it daily and have routines.
In my previous modes I take off for a while (I definitely have the wandering gene and can pack really efficiently but that's another thread.) Or I would do lots outside the home and just cba when finally indoors.
I also am not great at routines and get bored far too easily and flounce.

So interesting how many women say they clean because it helps their anxiety yet funnily enough, I never hear men say the same thing.

I find it very sad...I know a woman like this. House is a showhome...if you walked in you wouldn't know she had two young children. It's like there's no trace of them. One child laid some football cards out on the floor and she nearly spontaneously combusted.

I don’t care what society says women should be like. Why do you care?

I agree. I think it's sad that women still feel pressure to be responsible for bearing the brunt of the housework and worrying about what other people will think of them if they don't keep the perfect home. I mean no one judges the man if the house is untidy to they?

Everyone who lives in the house has a responsibility to help keep it clean.

I was a single parent to twins & working full time when they were v young. As soon as they could toddle they learned to put toys away when they'd finished playing.

DP & I work FT in demanding roles & have 4 children. Everyone does stuff daily to keep the house running. I also pay for (quite a lot) of help because I flipping hate cleaning but like my home to be clean & tidy.

I've learnt that the key is to keep it tidy so the cleaner can actually clean & not spend half their time picking things up & putting them away.

Yes you have to be at it non stop.
It's tedious.😂

I'm currently watching a very soppy biopic of Saints Francis and Clare (title " Saint Francis" obviously😏) all because the alternative on my to do list is housework.🤷

OP my take is that, as with everything marketed to us in an already saturated economy, the trick is to make people feel inadequate about something so you buy their stuff. Then of course perpetuate the idea that they'll never be doing enough, else they won't be repeat customers.

Making women feel inadequate if their homes aren't pristine is just another example alongside make up, wrinkle cream and all that stuff that makes clear we aren't good enough as we are and so we must buy more and more and more stuff to try to be. As you pointed out well upthread, this social pressure on women to be homemakers, have tidy homes, etc, already exists so it's an easy trope to piggy back off of for a company, influencer, etc.

This is lining someone's pockets very effectively somewhere.

I’m making cakes with my boyfriends children, we just made a nice dinner (it’s raining out). I have no housework to do, no laundry nothing - the day is still all ours and I will just clear up the cake mess afterwards and I don’t have any stress to spend till 10pm frantically sorting out clothes and tidying up

I don’t know why people think you can’t have a life and be tidy, you just tidy up after yourself, in extreme situations people prioritise it over everything else but most people are in the middle area somewhere

Having a coping outlet for anxiety isn’t something to be pitied or shamed either

Interesting thread, thanks OP. I cleaned the fridge yesterday. It's a larder fridge, not a big one, and there are only three of us in the household. I thought I'd cleaned it about a month ago. Mibbes aye, mibbes naw, as King Kenny might say

It took hours (admittedly I am not the fastest worker, but I try to be thorough to compensate for my lack of speed). I swore more than a Pantera album, I swore more than a bunch of navvies in the Archway Tavern (RIP). My swearing was at Unfuck Your Habitat level - it's a good book, but has it helped me? Has it fuck...

I am going to have to do it weekly from now on. Housework is sisyphean, but I can't be happy in disorder I think there is a gendered element to this, more around feelings about cleaning than actual cleanliness/doing housework - god knows there are plenty of men better at cleaning than I am!

Our house is clean and tidy 99% of the time. Dh and I have 101 other things to do, but it doesn’t take that much time in our house

I grew up in a filthy pit, I couldn’t bare to live in similar again. We have storage for what’s needed, and live fairly minimal I guess. Toys go all over the floor but get tidied at the end of the day.

Dh does equal amounts of cleaning. And I hope 1 year old grows up to know not to dump stuff randomly ie he already knows shoes live on shoe rack, and helps up lob toys in basket before bed.

See everyone's definition of clean and tidy is different. I have a child free friend who couldn't cope with a a single toy lying on the floor in an otherwise immaculate room...that would be messy to her

@Polkadots2021

OP my take is that, as with everything marketed to us in an already saturated economy, the trick is to make people feel inadequate about something so you buy their stuff. Then of course perpetuate the idea that they'll never be doing enough, else they won't be repeat customers.

Making women feel inadequate if their homes aren't pristine is just another example alongside make up, wrinkle cream and all that stuff that makes clear we aren't good enough as we are and so we must buy more and more and more stuff to try to be. As you pointed out well upthread, this social pressure on women to be homemakers, have tidy homes, etc, already exists so it's an easy trope to piggy back off of for a company, influencer, etc.

This is lining someone's pockets very effectively somewhere.

Yes. DH and I shout abuse at the TV when the Ariel ad about "invisible dirt" comes on.

YES. THOUGHT YOUR T SHIRT WAS CLEAN AND WHITE? FUCK OFF YOU DIRTY SLUT YOU HAVE TO CLEAN THE INVISIBLE DIRT TOO.

Bugger off with all that. Stick it in UV sunshine and it will be as clean as it needs to be.

ha my house is always clean , I love a good clean and tidy . Not ashamed at all
Its my choice