Obsessive Women Cleaners

[Ladywinesalot]

Ok so this is not about feminism (although it may turn out to be)

I like a clean house, and if I had my way my home would be a perfect show room house allll the time.

However I just can’t be asked for one and also have lots in my life, like working and social life.

So I ask who are these women who have perfect shoes room houses, and why do you?

Are you not busy in other areas if your lives? Do you have nothing else to do?

And no my DH does not clean up nor will he. Should I LTB? Probably but I won’t.

It's still gendered, but if you look for you tube videos on lawn care or car detailing you find the male equivalent of the cleaning tragics.

@BringBackThinEyebrows

I stumbled across a load of YouTube videos about cleaning routines, all by women. They spoke so enthusiastically about the products and techniques they use. It made me wonder if there's any men with such passion for cleaning, either creating or following this content online.

When the tv show obsessive compulsive cleaners was on there were quite a few men featured. There is also one on channel 5 about two men who go and sort out the homes of people who don’t do any cleaning.

Are you keeping within the rule of six inside when you visit all these show homes OP?

Starting to think nature

Well I must be trans then cause it's definitely not in my fucking nature

@UhtredRagnarson

When the tv show obsessive compulsive cleaners was on there were quite a few men featured. There is also one on channel 5 about two men who go and sort out the homes of people who don’t do any cleaning.

I have seen that channel 5 show with the 2 men, it's brilliant how they can transform a place. Those homes are often extreme, it involves a proper thorough clean and treatments like fumigation.

The videos I mentioned were regular cleaning routines as opposed to deep cleaning, so I suppose decluttering and cleaning as interests marketed at women by women. There absolutely could be male influencers with cleaning content, I just haven't seen it.

You’re right, I watch a lot of cleaning videos on YouTube and I don’t think I’ve seen a single recommendation of one that is a man cleaning. It’s all women.

When I say recommendation I mean the suggested videos that YouTube offers based on what you watch.

I don't know anyone who has a show home. Everyone I know admits to mad cleaning and tidying before friends visit, and that lockdown was a relief in some ways as we didn't have to clean.

I was bought up to see anything more than the basics as a waste of time that you could better spend doing something more interesting. I like to have a clean and tidy house, but I don't care enough to actually do it and I would far, far rather sort out my garden or read a book. 'A clean house is a sign of a mis-spent life.'

I used to really struggle to keep my house clean and tidy ..... then I got divorced.
Now my house is always visitor ready (not that I want unexpected visitors!). I clean and tidy as I go and it means nothing ever gets too dirty or messy. I've realised just how much of a slob my ex-husband was and how much that impacted on my life before. My son would do exactly as his Dad did and leave debris everywhere but since it became just the two of us he started to put things away more, without even being asked.
Don't get me wrong, his bedroom is an absolute shit tip but at least the mess is contained and I don't need to look at it 😂

Yabu to make this an issue about women. The cleanest house I know belongs to my male friend with OCD.

I think for me it’s because at one stage in my life I was severely depressed and my bedroom was a complete mess. The rest of the house was ‘normal’ with just the bare minimum done regarding chores and cleaning etc. But my bedroom was absolutely disgusting. It was literally a build up of 3/4 years. No one would guess it from meeting me how I was living and what condition I was sleeping in. I moved in August and it took me two weeks to empty my bedroom and I had cleaners in to clean everything before moving into my new place. For the first time in my life I’m comfortable enough to invite people over and I go to bed in a clean environment. So I like to keep on top of everything so even if I have a rough few days, it doesn’t pile up like it did.

My husband and I both like a clean and tidy home and both make the effort, each day, to keep on top of the key areas together so it never gets out of hand. We both work full time and I study part time too.

My children are free to paint, craft, drag all their toys out but we teach them to put things away before getting out something else (with about a 50% success rate ).

I like to have my home organised and tidy because I hate clutter and mess but also so that when friends and family come round, it's a pleasant environment to be in.

I do sometimes wish I was more relaxed or could employ a cleaner, but I'd rather save the money to spend on activities with the kids and I'd never forgo going out over cleaning my house.

Each to their own! I'd never judge someone for not 'keeping a tidy home' and nor would I expect judgement because I like to have a tidy home.

I certainly don't feel pressure from anywhere else to have a tidy house, it's just part of my personality to prefer order over chaos. That's ok isn't it?!

I've always struggled with being tidy, and by extension clean. My parents weren't super house proud but worked hard in house and garden between working and child rearing and leisure time. But I didn't know how to clean or tidy - even relatively recently, it took my mum to sweep up a load of crap from the floor and sort through it for me to realise that is what you need to do to clean it! I'm nearly 40. I do stress about it and hate the anticipation of visitors, even my parents, because I know people judge. My mum does make comments / "jokes" about my housework and I think has given me a bit of anxiety about it. But I'm not deliberately messy or dirty, I just don't always notice or have the energy / motivation to do it? Once both kids are in school in September I'll have a couple of days a week where I can focus more and hopefully make some headway with it.

But I have also wondered whether people with very clean houses have otherwise empty lives, that is obviously judgemental and I think probably a way of making myself feel better about my lacking skills.

There is only one house I know kept to literally show home standard. The mum is now 70+ and didn't work so devoted herself to the house and sees it as her life achievement. Unfortunately she's so devoted to it she's made it clear others are further down the pecking order and no one can relax and chat because they are aware they are in the house!.
No one feels comfortable in it. That is not a definition of success I'd ever want to enter into.

I prefer bohemian homes with projects with books half written, papers, creative endeavours on the go..

@Fairdosmun

Starting to think nature

Well I must be trans then cause it's definitely not in my fucking nature

Haaahaha gave me a sunday morning chuckle!

Not in my nature either. I grew up in a fairly untidy home and learned few skills around housekeeping. My DH is much more concerned about tidiness and clutter than me - in fact I like a bit of clutter, as when things I need are in view then I don’t forget about them.

However, I have worked hard since having kids to learn to be more organised around the home as I see it’s less stressful, and I do like the home being tidy and organised. I also care what other people think and tidy more than usual for visitors, so definitely have social messages under my skin. But I totally disagree with the idea that there is some ‘feminine instinct’ to keep home. Maybe when pregnant and nesting etc - biology involved there.

The majority of people that I know who have to have things neat and tidy with nothing out of place are men. The people I know who are very into cleaning have come from quite a poor childhood where they had had little in the of material possessions and the show home feel I think is a result of that.

I am not particularly tidy and hate cleaning but having recently put my house on the market I loved living in such a tidy (albeit temporarily) house

I like being organised and tidy so I fit it in with my normal life? I still have dusty areas and it’s not perfect, it’s not a show home but people do comment it’s tidy. I just make an effort to do it in place of something like watching TV

Mine is driven by being poor and somewhat ‘skanky’ as a kid. I was always a tidy organised child it made me feel better about life. My mother had terrible MH for many years and became a grotesque type of hoarder who also never cleaned anything (like toilet or sinks). She actually has overcome it and is now fairly tidy too - she still doesn’t like cleaning but it’s so much more manageable. I mostly don’t like using dirty kitchens or bathrooms I think it does make me feel uncomfortable, but I don’t mind mess or clutter generally because that is normal life, if it’s clean underneath I am ok with it

It's so sneery to think people whose homes are super neat and clean are somehow less interesting or productive than messy people.

My (messy) aunt had a plaque on her wall saying 'Dull Women have Neat Houses'. When when I was young I thought it was very subversive and witty. Now I'm older I have come to realise that a lot of messy/unclean women and men are also very dull.

What keeps people interesting is enthusiasm, passion and enquiring minds. You can have those things and still vacuum twice a day. Equally you can live in total squalor and spend your time navel gazing.

I have no particular axe to grind here. I'm not super neat but I'm not messy either. My house is generally very clean but that's down to my cleaner not me.

Yeah I find it depressing that people with tidy homes are judged like that, I think it’s usually just an excuse by people who can’t be bothered to clean things. Just say you can’t be bothered you don’t have to be rude about people who can be bothered.

From reading these threads fairly regularly it seems to be a combination of children being taught to be tidy and they clear away the toys/plates as they go. The woman is super organised and will make sure by the end of each day the house is completely put back together and ready for the next day. I also think there’s a helpful husband and a house full of storage involved too.

Plenty of people - of both sexes - like being in a neat, ordered environment. That's nature.

Some women and men believe, due to societal expectations, that women should be the ones to take on the cleaning work. That's nurture.

So it's not surprising that it tends to be more women doing the cleaning and men deciding that actually, they can't be arsed having a clean house when there's more fun stuff to do. Doesn't mean that women have an innate, passionate "need" to do this stuff. Well I hope not, or I'm clearly not a woman!

@IToldYouIWasCummins

I am a single parent but yes, it’s the kids being involved really. Mine have messy rooms that’s fine but the communal areas are kept tidy by all 3 of us. Also I factor into routine like getting dressed in the morning, spending 5 mins putting everything I’ve used back again and making the bed. Same with kids, if you use the bathroom just spend a minute not leaving it like a bomb site after you use it.

I have good storage solutions and before I go to bed every night spend 5-10 mins just tidying up downstairs. There really isn’t a lot of time involved if it’s always just a clear up of what you just used. The key to being organised is not leaving it until it takes 2 hours to ‘blitz’ and just factoring time into your day to do it as you go along. That’s why people are under the impression it takes ages, because if you leave something for a whole week or more it will take longer?

I clear the kitchen up before I cook (load or unload dishwasher), eat, then take plate back and clear kitchen by loading the dishwasher again.

I will clean/hoover under things like the sofa once a week, get a child to dust down cobwebs on a Saturday morning or something. I wipe down bathrooms every couple of days. So rarely have to lose a whole morning to cleaning the house.

It's so sneery to think people whose homes are super neat and clean are somehow less interesting or productive than messy people.

I don't think this at all.
My house is a shithole because I have rotten mental health issues and the other family members just don't care about the mess.

My neighbour's house is lovely, always clean and tidy and they are some of the most engaging, warm, intelligent and interesting people I know.

They do employ a cleaner and window washer, ironing service etc etc.

But even so I envy their ability to keep on top of things while having a full life.

The cleanest house I can think of is that way because the husband pulls his weight too. He sees something dirty and cleans it without needing to be told. They also have very little clutter which makes cleaning easier.

It's up to an individual how much time they want to invest in cleaning and the environment they want to live in. It's not anyone else's place to tell them what to do with thier time. OP cannot expect people to change thier habits just to make her feel better about her own house. I have friends who make most of thier children's clothes from scratch which occasionally makes me feel a little inadequate, however I could not live with the dirt and clutter that they do. I would rather buy clothes and keep a clean house, no judgement, just my personal preference.