Anyone else find having a cleaner stressful?

[Yellowbowlbanana]

I know this is a first world problem so apologies in advance. I started working full time 2 months ago and with 4 DC along with pets I thought it would be good to get a cleaner. However, I really hate it and find the whole experience so stressful. I thought it would get better over time but it hasn't. I spend my whole evening the night before tidying up so the cleaner can clean but I still cringe with embarrassment at the mess. It's expensive and I don't feel she does a great job. Dh is keen to persevere as it does free some time at the weekends but ultimately I could spend the time I have to tidy by doing the cleaning myself. Has anyone else felt like this? Will I regret it if I let her go?

Why are you doing all the tidying? If you’re not happy with the job she’s doing get a different cleaner and your DH needs to do his share of the tidying

I find the whole expertise pointless and stressful. I'd rather just get up early and do it myself and save £30 a week!

I’d get rid on the basis that she doesn’t do a good job. I would begrudge paying for something I could do better myself.

Yes absolutely

I totally agree with this. Mine comes once a fortnight and I breathe a sigh of relief on the weeks she’s not coming. Like you, I get so stressed trying to leave the house tidy so she can clean and trying to get the kids to school and off to work at the same time is horrible. Then when she’s been it looks great for all of 10 mins until the kids mess it up again and poo in all the toilets and I’m left thinking I may as well have burned £50.
I think I would miss it if we didn’t have her though. At least I know that the house is getting a really good clean every couple of weeks.

No. I don't tidy up before she comes, it's what I pay the cleaner for.

Even a very bad cleaner is still better than me or DH doing it.

Possibly I am shameless though.

I would 100% have to tidy up before a cleaner came - I think the people who say you shouldn’t must have no idea how messy some peoples houses can be (disclaimer - I have ADHD so mess is just one of those things)

A cleaner would make my life a million times easier but a million times harder at the same time.

I have someone who comes to cut my grass and although it’s obviously not the same because he’s outside I still feel this way a bit. I’m just uncomfortable the whole time he is there.

Clean your own house off seen your already halfway tidying before she comes round!

I find it a bit stressful the night before but when she's been I find myself jumping for joy and feeling extremely relieved and silly for worrying. We've had our cleaner for four years - she's not perfect but she does a huge amount for my mental health. She's wonderful.

Now that I’m thinking about it - what would be useful to me would be someone who comes once per week and:

Puts laundry away
Changes the beds
Irons school uniforms
Is doing my food shop too much to ask?

These are the types of things I need help with before I can even consider having someone in to scrub the loo once a week!

Would a housekeeper (someone who also tidies, makes the beds, puts washing on) be better? Or a cleaner who will also tidy.

Your cleaner should be doing a better job at cleaning than you would, minimum same standard. Get a new cleaner or a housekeeper.

I felt the same as you at first, it did settle but only after I got to know the cleaner and realised there was no judgment.

IMHO it is worthwhile having a cleaner, for things like making sure those limescale rings don’t build up around the taps, the kitchen tiles are clean and the oven door stays clean - all the little fiddly bits that build up overtime and feel gross, but are not noticeable on a week to week basis.

I could’ve written this! My alarm is set for silly o’clockTomorrow morning to get things sorted before the school/nursery run as she’ll be here when I get back!

No. I don't tidy up before she comes, it's what I pay the cleaner for.

I've never had a cleaner so apologies for daft question but aren't they there to clean, rather than tidy up?

I found my mum getting a cleaner stressful. She would make us clean the house before the cleaner came, and as an aut, I found the cognitive dissonance of the situation really frustrating and angering.

Agree it can be stressful.

But also think you don't have the right cleaner!

You shouldn't be feeling like a good job hasn't been done. Some cleaners are great and it will feel like a weight has been taken off.

I always tidy before hand, too. But I still think it saves time because even though I tidy I'm not doing the actual cleaning bit... I wouldn't have time after the tidying so the actual cleaning and dusting gets put off, put off and put off some more.

Fortnightly instead of weekly I find better.

What is the cleaner doing?

I don’t have one now but when I did have one for a while after an operation, I had a list of jobs: clean bathrooms, change bedcovers, wash and vacuum all floors.
That was it then.

So it wasn’t just tidying up or cleaning randomly, it was definite jobs that I didn’t have to do then.

I tidy before the cleaner comes, so that she can do what I pay her for - clean. Not doing it would make her job much harder.

If you're finding the task of tidying very difficult, it sounds like you might have a problem with excessive clutter. It might be worth paying for a one-off session with a decluttering professional, then keeping on top of it.

Yes they are stressful and have ideas of their own.

Surely you can’t leave loads of clutter around for a cleaner to move before they clean.

I had the exact same problem and life became a lot less stressful once she left. My friend tells me that there are cleaners out there who tidy too.

We do have some clutter but it's just life clutter with school stuff, sports equipment etc. We're a very busy household so it accumulates very quickly. We still need to renovate our downstairs so things don't always have an easy and obvious place to live. We have a lot of washing and to keep on top of that feels like a full-time job in itself. The need to tidy is constant!

When I first got the cleaner I wanted kitchen and bathrooms cleaned and the dusting, hoovering and mopping done. I didn't think I needed to specify what that means but I don't think the basics are being covered. For instance, if you're cleaning the kitchen, you move the tea and coffee jars and clean behind them and wipe them down but I know this hasn't been done. Nor the bathroom floor mopped properly as I'd dropped a sponge and it was still there when I got home.
I think I am going to get rid as just the thought of it is a relief!

The best thing I ever had in this regard was an after school mother's helper. She collected the kids from school, made them a simple dinner (and tidied up after herself) and did the laundry and put it away. I got home at 7 to fed children, clean uniforms and a clean kitchen. It was amazingly great.

We have a fortnightly cleaner who is amazing and after she’s left I’m full of resolve to keep the house as clean and tidy as she’s left it! So it can work, OP. Not cleaning behind stuff is not on.
But yes it can be a little fraught and having to find the exact cash amount each time (raiding the kids’ money boxes leaving IOUs left and right!)

We had similar issues and settled for robot hoover, robot mop, a shedload of wipes / microfibre clothes / terrifying sprays. Shopping done online which freed up enough time to e.g. at least sling bleach down the bogs and attack the worst of the kitchen.

My sister is (was not atm but I hope to have her back!) my cleaner so I don't give a flying fuck what my house looks like lol. She does whinge that she can't clean if it's messy and I told her not to do kids rooms as I want them to do it themselves. It is annoying having to remember to tidy on a given day but so worth it if your house is clean and you didn't make it that way. My sister is a fab cleaner. You need to get rid of yours and find a better one!