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Original poster

DH said he'd divorce me if I became a vegetarian.

75 replies

JammyGem · 23/06/2021 20:01

Just that really. Not sure what to make of it.

He's a chef and very passionate about food. I'm not a big meat eater and don't like the taste or texture of a lot of stuff, so tend to cook only fish, chicken and beef. I hate touching raw meat and while making dinner tonight made a comment about thinking of going vegetarian. We do eat a lot of veggie meals anyway, and I give him most of the meat while I have just the sauce/vegetables etc.

He gets a bit annoyed because I don't like pork or lamb so don't cook them - although I've made it clear if he wants them he can cook dinner for himself and I'll just have some soup or something, so I'm not stopping him from eating them.

I was just a bit taken aback by his (totally serious) comment that if I stopped cooking/eating meat he'd file for divorce Hmm

OP posts:
Bobbots · 23/06/2021 20:02

Your DH is a prick

BiscuitLover09876 · 23/06/2021 20:03

He's an idiot.

Bobbots · 23/06/2021 20:03

Although your comment of “if he wants them for dinner he can cook them for himself and I’ll just have some soup or something” does sound a bit martyred. Like “oh I’m alright I’ll probably just have some dry bread” and it implies that you do mind him cooking for himself separately. But he is a prick if he would actually divorce you for not eating meat.

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covetingthepreciousthings · 23/06/2021 20:04

Really don't understand what his issue would be considering he could carry on eating meat himself and you've said a lot of your meals are vegetarian anyway..

He's being a dick.

PatchyTwat · 23/06/2021 20:05

Wow. I’m an avid carnivore but that’s utterly stupid, he can’t force you to eat meat!

Bipbopbee · 23/06/2021 20:05

Well he’s a catch isn’t he. Hmm
I’d be telling him to crack on with the divorce, you can celebrate your freedom to eat and cook what you like with a huge carrot cake.

SpindleWhorl · 23/06/2021 20:05

If he's a chef, why would he cook dinner for himself but you just have 'soup or something'? Why couldn't you just have the vegetables and sauce of what he cooks?

Is he a bit of an arrogant prick?

Sexnotgender · 23/06/2021 20:05

Sounds like you’d be better off divorcing him for being a dick.

Caramellatteplease · 23/06/2021 20:06

I kinda get it. Eating a meal together is one of the joys of being in a couple for many people. Not having similar eating patterns is actually quite divisive.

Side issue: You do realise that just taking the meat out of food isnt enough. You need to he adding in other protein and nutrition sources?

Ohshittt · 23/06/2021 20:06

Are you me? I am exactly the same and DH has said the same to me although it was in jest. If he was being serious i would not have been happy! As a chef he should know there are amazing vegetarian foods out there he could work his magic on, shame he's acting this way.

Pengwyn · 23/06/2021 20:08

To be fair I'd divorce mine if he started eating meat, couldn't have that in my house

Original poster
JammyGem · 23/06/2021 20:08

I'll be totally honest, I wouldn't be vegetarian 24/7 - I'd still treat myself to something nice on the rare occasions we get a takeaway or go out to eat... it's more just cutting down on meat so I don't have to prep it. That and I know I need to do my bit for the environment and figure that cutting out meat could make a bit of a difference.

OP posts:
Original poster
JammyGem · 23/06/2021 20:09

I get why the soup comment sounds martyrish but it's actually the opposite! I love soup but DH hates it so we never have soup for dinner - for me it would be a treat!

OP posts:
McdonaldsMilkshake · 23/06/2021 20:09

There's a lot of good Facebook groups and blogs about going vegetarian and making sure you get all your nutrients and good meal ideas. Have fun being vegetarian and good luck with your divorce!

Treacletoots · 23/06/2021 20:10

Vegetarian here. I can sort of see it from his POV. I suspect, as a chef, cooking is one of the ways he shows you he cares and by you expecting him to cook one meal for himself and soup for yourself he may feel like your rejecting him.

However... He needs to get a grip. He needs to realise that a good meal doesn't have to include meat, and that he doesn't get to tell you what you can and can't do. Is he controlling in other areas?

Btw. My DH loves meat, but was prepared to give it up because I didn't want to eat it any more. He drew the line at cheese though. Wink
Again, I don't stop him eating anything, he just chooses to eat alongside me because it's a nice thing to do.

Wearywithteens · 23/06/2021 20:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Original poster
JammyGem · 23/06/2021 20:11

@Caramellatteplease

I kinda get it. Eating a meal together is one of the joys of being in a couple for many people. Not having similar eating patterns is actually quite divisive.

Side issue: You do realise that just taking the meat out of food isnt enough. You need to he adding in other protein and nutrition sources?

We eat a lot of meals with chickpeas, beans, lentils etc so I don't think I'd be lacking protein. Plus I eat far too much cheese to ever be lacking Grin
OP posts:
Blackcat333 · 23/06/2021 20:12

My husband eats meat and does all the cooking, I don't eat meat. Most of our meals are vegetarian and tonight he cooked a meat dish and made me a vegetarian one. My husband isn't a chef and its no problem. He sounds very controlling. Does he threaten you with this everytime you disagree? I wouldn't ever come to his restaurant if he has this attitude, I'd be worried that he would purposely put a meat product into my food.

I'd be seriously asking him which cds he wants etc. Life is too short for you to be living it for someone else. Good for you for becoming a vegetarian! 😁

Original poster
JammyGem · 23/06/2021 20:13

He does say I'm a good cook and some of his favourite meals I do are vegetarian... I'm not stopping him from eating meat, I just don't particularly want to eat it myself anymore.

OP posts:
User0ne · 23/06/2021 20:13

He'd divorce you if you won't eat what he wants?

Prick

FindingMeno · 23/06/2021 20:14

It's hardly a deal breaker going veggie.
Just do it, and see if he was being out.

FindingMeno · 23/06/2021 20:14

*ott

Original poster
JammyGem · 23/06/2021 20:17

He doesn't have a problem with vegetarians at work, or any allergies or dietary requirements, and actually prides himself on being able to create good menus for events that cater for all the necessary requirements. He just doesn't understand why someone would be vegetarian or vegan because he loves his meat too much Grin

OP posts:
CabernetSoWhat · 23/06/2021 20:17

Given he's a chef, I imagine he took it as if you were saying you don't support/believe in his profession.

I can imagine a doctor being quite put out if their spouse told them they want to go for woo alternative shit instead of medicine.

I can imagine a pilot being upset if their spouse said they'd rather take the ferry because they hate flying.

I suspect he's overreacting because he's feeling a bit hurt. Obviously, you have a right to go veggie, but perhaps be a bit sensitive to the fact that he's probably proud of his, say, his perfect fillet steak and won't take well to his own wife rejecting his best work.

Original poster
JammyGem · 23/06/2021 20:18

Maybe for the next week I'll do all veggie meals and see if he says anything...

OP posts: