What's the most trivial thing you've been told you're doing "wrong"

[BruceAndNosh]

Apparently not using the entire individual hotel mini tub of marmalade to cover 2 slices of toast is "weird".
I like toast with a SMALL amount of marmalade - this makes me odd it seems

I eat right across a Kit Kat - it’s the way you’re supposed to eat them! That’s why they’re connected with chocolate (unlike a Twix for example).

I also eat kiwis like apples which I’ve been told is wrong.

@TacoSunday

I get out the shower wrong. Apparently I should dry my foot before it lands on the bath mat, then dry the other.

No, the bath mat is there for the wet feet!

Whilst making a curry during a visit to DM, she took a sharp knife from me, on the grounds that 'I might cut myself'. At that time, I had been a serving police officer for about 10 years, so was familiar with the concept of sharp things....
Kit-kat-kuntery. Went on a pretty expensive residential craft course. During break times, could have a kit-kat. Must either have been unable to buy 2 finger ones, or the 4 finger ones were cheaper. Organisers went to the trouble of unwrapping the 4 finger ones mauling them and dividing them into two. I hate people mauling my food before I get to maul it myself
On a police driving course. Of my many terrible driving habits, one of them was that I clutched the gear stick wrongly. Oddly, I had been changing gear sucessfully for quite some time, but I often think about it now, when I do it, nearly 40 yrs later

Parking - according to a kindly gentleman he pointed out that I was parking in a non designated bay - there were no designated bays. The car park was predominantly a building site. I thanked the man profusely for informing me of the error of my ways but declined to move my car. He was puce

@FourTurnings

My ex taught me that I did all of the following wrong -

Wipe down worktops
Use a towel after brushing my teeth
Chop potatoes for a curry
Iron a shirt
Put a duvet cover on
Drive the car
Talk on the phone
Walk (I ‘walk funny’)
Read a map (not quickly enough)

I would like to reassure everyone that my performance in most of these life skills has improved vastly since my divorce 😀

Hopefully you now complete these tasks in the same way as you did before getting married. Just to get his back up of course😁

@Newestname001

No, sadly not. I thought it was all my fault and if I only tried harder it would all be okay.

I told everyone I had fallen off my horse. Thankfully he dumped me (It would have been years before I did so) and 6 months later I met DH.

DH does complain about how I load the dishwasher - so he does it now. ;)

@RedRec

I never zip up or close my handbags. Have never had any problems because of it in my 58 years on this planet. And yet I get older women pointing it out to me and warning of dire consequences. I smile sweetly and say thank you despite wanting to tell them to F off and mind their own business.

Don’t walk down Oxford Street, the dippers will spot you in seconds!

Sorry, feel free to tell me to F off.

Friends husband told me I wasn't using potato peeler correctly I let him crack on with the rest!

@FourTurnings I hear you. I see your list and raise you “inability to cut pizza without close supervision and feedback”

I tie shoelaces wrong. I do a double loop, I've taught all of my children to do it wrong too. In fact it was one of them that informed me!

[quote everythingbackbutyou]@FourTurnings I hear you. I see your list and raise you “inability to cut pizza without close supervision and feedback”[/quote]
I cut my pizzas with kitchen scissors. (You know the strong ones you can use to cut chicken bones).

Works a treat.

Dunno but I could give you a long list of all the things my DH does wrong!

I was once told by the owner of a cafe I worked in when I was 15 that a round of toast was one slice of bread, toasted, buttered, cut in half diagonally and then ONE half was a round. Two halves, two rounds etc...

Ex told me I hoovered wrong but he never did it himself

MIL told me I did the washing up wrong - I haven't done it at her house again.

My DH feeds the dogs wrong. He took me through his routine last night as he is about to go away for work. It took nearly an hour. I am not even joking. We have 3 dogs. Not 300.

I suggested his method was 'make work'.

When he has gone I plan to;

1. Get feed bowls
2. Tip dog food into bowls
3. Clean bowls when empty.
4. Pat dogs on head.

Walking - according to a woman in a tour group on holiday who had an opinion on everything. Although I had reached the age of 35 managing to walk just fine without needing any advice 😀

@BackforGood

Not me, but I was shocked to see someone I know open a two finger kit kat and take a bite across both fingers, rather than snapping it into two separate fingers and eating one then the other.

Obviously, I had to clutch my pearls tightly.

My son did this. I was so horrified I had to take a photo.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

peeling boiled eggs

ffs

Well they're pretty horrible in a sandwich if you don't peel them!! @ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

@MrsJackRackham

My dad used to say I shopped wrong. Rather than start at the front at the fruit and veg I go to the last aisle and work my way back. That way the fruit and veg don't get squished at the bottom of the trolley. Makes perfect sense to me. Wrong apparently

Oh that's genius!

Putting veg peelings into my compost bin wrongly. Apparently I tipped them in messily.

I was once told by the headmaster of my DS’s school that I was wearing sunglasses at the wrong time of year.

@OliveHenry

Turning the light on. DP told me I was too stabby with the rocker switch and it needs to be gently stroked into position.

How I didn't stab him, I don't know!

I don't know either

@BlueLobelia scissors are the correct utensil for cutting pizzas. Even my kids know that. However we have been snorted at many times for this as if it's it's a gross faux pas.

I was at a uni event and meeting my best friends girlfriend for the first time as she had been on a placement year abroad and I had said (stupidly) that I would share a house with her next year as there was no else she could share with.

We said hi all fine, and then later I was just sitting on a wall, drinking, chatting with friends etc.

Then she comes up to me screaming! I was like whats happened?!?!

Apparently I was staring at another friends ex girlfriend and giving her the dirtiest evils known to man. I wasn't and didn't even know she was there as she's from a completely different city half way up the country.

I said I honestly have no idea what your talking about etc. and explained I wouldnt do that and dont really think this is a great way to start our relationship. She never believed me and blanked me the whole night, herding her bf away from me when I was staying with them and the only reason I was there was to meet her.

It was insane and the start of an awful year being stuck with this girl.