What's the most trivial thing you've been told you're doing "wrong"

[BruceAndNosh]

Apparently not using the entire individual hotel mini tub of marmalade to cover 2 slices of toast is "weird".
I like toast with a SMALL amount of marmalade - this makes me odd it seems

I bite the chocolate and caramel off a twix first then eat the biscuit.
I cut cheese wrong.
I cut hot dog rolls incorrectly ( he cuts a channel into it for the frankfurter)
Sticking my finger out slightly while I drink my cuppa is also wrong.

You know what this threads made me wonder why I'm marrying him!

@BackforGood

Not me, but I was shocked to see someone I know open a two finger kit kat and take a bite across both fingers, rather than snapping it into two separate fingers and eating one then the other.

Obviously, I had to clutch my pearls tightly.

This is how I eat Kit-Kats. I do the same with four finger Kit-Kats too.

ExP once explained seriously that the small button, on the toilet in our hotel, was to be flushed for wees' and the big button was to be pressed for poos'. Twat! There were loads others..

@TacoSunday

I get out the shower wrong. Apparently I should dry my foot before it lands on the bath mat, then dry the other.

God sake. That's what the bath mat is for, drying your feet!

Could hand this over to my husband to write a long and unreasonable list. The two that stick in my mind is that I don’t mop the floor ‘properly’ as it is too wet afterwards, and that I use two ‘fucking teacups’ in one day.

I know a couple who split up because he thought she put her flip-flops on wrong. Clearly there was lot more going on but that was the final straw.

When living in London....is it because London's so big there's more chance of coming across weirdos? Hurrying to the tube for an evening out passed a man who said my shoes made too much noise. Another time parking in a street this bloke stopped on the other side of the road and criticised my parking.

I agree ... why have I never done this?

My boyfriend before DH told me I chopped garlic wrong. I also apparently put my bra on wrong. When I 'disobeyed' him by putting my bra on before my pants (he preferred the other way) he dropped me to the floor by twisting my arm behind my back, breaking it (he did martial arts) and screamed in my face.

Ex bf I stress.

@BackforGood

Not me, but I was shocked to see someone I know open a two finger kit kat and take a bite across both fingers, rather than snapping it into two separate fingers and eating one then the other.

Obviously, I had to clutch my pearls tightly.

I do that . . .

Yes, another parallel stapler here - never diagonal. I find it quite ironic that automatic stapling functions on a printer/copier are now about as diagonal as they come (unless I'm doing that wrong too).
My predecessor lasted about 30 days. I think the others in the office tried to warn me as one of the interview tasks involved reading and retyping the boss's handwriting, but I didn't think what that might have implied.

I was told by narcissist step-FIL that I was ordering fish and chips wrong. Apparently you’re not allowed to order eg 2 fish and 1 chips. You must order in complete fish + chip meals. FFS.

Loading the dishwasher according to STBXH. He’d tut loudly then make a big show of rearranging the items ‘correctly’.

It does annoy me/ make me laugh when people load dishwashers badly and then complain they cannot fit everything in. Well, you could if you put the small things on the shelves designed for small things, leaving the big shelves free for big things. But no, do carry on putting small things on big shelves and then whinge when there's nowhere to put big stuff. I don't tell them this though, I just walk off and leave them to it.

Oddest thing I got told off for was not warming a scone before eating it. Look, either eat the things straight out of the oven when they've just cooled enough that you don't burn yourself, or eat them cold. Don't buy them from a shop and then warm them in a microwave, that's just weird and minging.

I have VERY mild OCD. People who don't know me very well would never realize it. One of my friends is just overwrought because when I buy M&Ms or Skittles, I open up the package, sort by color, and eat in a certain order. If I can't, I'll wait to eat them when I can. Apparently, that's just wrong, wrong, WRONG!

I was told by a hateful ex-boss that I'd never make an accountant. My crime? I did not use her preferred number format in excel.

Pleased to report I've worked as an accountant for the last 15 years quite nicely.

I get out the shower wrong. Apparently I should dry my foot before it lands on the bath mat, then dry the other

I had this the other way round. Apparently I get out of the bath incorrectly because I get on my knees then stand up and make it all even worse by drying my feet before I stand on the bath mat. Perhaps we should swap?

As a teenage waitress in a coffee shop, that I was putting the squirty cream a fraction of an inch too high on the rim of customers’ mugs of hot chocolate 😂

I also vividly remember being massively told off - like really shouted at - by an elderly lady for making her a tuna mayonnaise sandwich with the tuna and the mayonnaise mixed together. Apparently I should magically have known that she liked to mix them herself.

In fact the whole job was basically just being shouted at by extremely rude older ladies. I now have no truck with this idea that old people have better manners 🤣

Boss’s boss (who didn’t visit the office often, thankfully) told me I had too many paper clips in my desk tidy, and it made my desk untidy

Assistant in Space NK told me I was using conditioner wrong. You should finish the bottle of shampoo before the conditioner, according to her.

@BlueLobelia

My boyfriend before DH told me I chopped garlic wrong. I also apparently put my bra on wrong. When I 'disobeyed' him by putting my bra on before my pants (he preferred the other way) he dropped me to the floor by twisting my arm behind my back, breaking it (he did martial arts) and screamed in my face.

Ex bf I stress.

Oh my word! Hope you had him arrested and charged! 🌹

I was once told off, in my first nursery job, for hading a preschooler a knife and fork. By passing the knife and fork to them to use, they would apparently automatically use whichever hand I passed it too and would fail to develop their own sense of being right or left handed. Likewise, when I gave them a pen to use.

So sorry if any of your children can’t establish their dominant hand. I probably handed them something.

Oh. I use lots more conditioner than shampoo.

@BackforGood

Not me, but I was shocked to see someone I know open a two finger kit kat and take a bite across both fingers, rather than snapping it into two separate fingers and eating one then the other.

Obviously, I had to clutch my pearls tightly.

Lol your pearls!!

@neekeem

I felt like a total bitch for telling my assistant she was putting the address labels on envelopes in the wrong place.

But tbf, she puts them on the top left. Not return labels, but the actual address.

I maintain that I'm right.

If a bit petty.

I remember seeing a colleague come downstairs to get her envelope and then come back with another one because her colleague had told her the address had to go bottom left rather than centre (not in the UK). I'm pretty sure the first version would have still arrived safely as there was plenty of space for the franking mark.

Preferring slightly under-ripe pears.