A piece of black tarmac walks into a bar and says to the barman, "I'm hard, me".
Barman replies "Oh, really?"
Black tarmac says "Yeah, I'm really hard, give me a pint".
Barman gives him a pint.
Black tarmac downs it very fast and says "Give me another cos I'm f** hard".
Barman, rather bored, gives black tarmac another pint.
"More" says black tarmac.
Barman gives him another drink.
The door opens and in walks a piece of red tarmac.
Black tarmac shrieks and runs away.
The barman finds him cowering under a table in the corner. He says "What's up with you? I thought you were f** hard?"
Black tarmac replies "I am, I'm dead hard me but that red tarmac, he's a f*** cycle path"