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Original poster

Tipping at restaurants

75 replies

Wildgoose84 · 19/06/2021 22:59

Hello, longtime lurker but never felt the need to get a general consensus on anything before…. But I want to do the right thing! So, folks, your thoughts please!
Husband, toddler and I went out for tea tonight, pub/restaurant. Great food, nice atmosphere but really excellent service. Bill came to £65ish and when waitress came to take card payment I asked if I could add a tip on. She very openly said it was not worth it as it got split between all staff and taxed. So I paid the bill and had a discussion with husband over tip. I would usually plump for 10% cash but very very embarrassingly we only had £3 cash on us. I apologised and told her she made the meal! So… in these covid times, almost cashless and people getting minimum wage, not even living wage. What % is reasonable??? Having never worked in hospitality I am never sure I’m getting it right. What do we do when I want to tip a particular sever?? I feel like some kind of social fool! Help.

OP posts:
BirdsandBeesmakinghay · 19/06/2021 23:02

Give the waitress the cash in hand.

Original poster
Wildgoose84 · 19/06/2021 23:04

@BirdsandBeesmakinghay.. yes that’s we did in the end. Ashamed it was so meagre though!

OP posts:
BedknobsNoBroomsticks · 19/06/2021 23:06

I don't have the answer to your question because I don't tip.

I work in a minimum wage job and provide a service but don't get tips. Why should some jobs get and others don't

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Maireas · 19/06/2021 23:07

£65 seems a lot for afternoon tea for three of you, especially as your child is a toddler. If it was dinner I'd tip as that's more reasonable.
However, if you thought it was amazing service, give a cash tip.

ZenNudist · 19/06/2021 23:15

I'd always tip 10% cash. But what can you do if you didn't have cash on you? I make sure I've got cash for restaurants. I would have notes and ask them to break a tenner if I needed then to.

Never ever pay tip on card unless waiter/ waitress assures me that they get it. Even then I know some restaurants make them say they get it so it's a last resort to tip on the card.

I think it's good if it's shared between the staff. Waiters have defended that to me in the past to say the kitchen and bar staff deserve tips as much as front of house staff.

Original poster
Wildgoose84 · 19/06/2021 23:16

@Maireas.. sorry wasn’t, clear it was dinner/evening meal.

@BedknobsNoBroomsticks… interesting point. Can I ask what service you work in that you don’t get tipped for?

OP posts:
Original poster
Wildgoose84 · 19/06/2021 23:20

@ZenNudist lesson learned. Will remember to have £10 cash on me at all times now. I always thought chefs got a better salary and that’s why the tip went to the waiting staff instead… but like I said, never worked in hospitality so have no clue really.

OP posts:
PinkPurpleParade · 19/06/2021 23:21

I was a waitress between 2011 and 2016. I always appreciated tips but never expected them. It was very rare to get a percentage of a meal, usually £2-4 for a couple or family, £5 or £10 for a party of people. Once I got £20 but that was catering for an engagement party of about 20 people and they were v drunk.

I do work in the north west and it was a family friendly happy little walkers pub with good hearty food, not a boutiquey place certainly not upmarket or posh.

I think £3 is fine though your afternoon tea does seem expensive!

PinkPurpleParade · 19/06/2021 23:22

Sorry I think I read afternoon tea in the comments just realised you said evening meal!

Also as PPs have said never too on card. When we were tipped on card we never saw a penny of it.

Keeping2ChevronsApart · 19/06/2021 23:24

This happened to us we haven't withdrawn cash out in a very long time. First time it was a small family business and they said they didn't work for tips they just want people to return. Second time was last week. I had a £10 note and wanted to leave £3 (we only had a small lunch) so I nipped into the shop next door and bought a paper to get change. Really embarrassing to have happened twice so now I keep a small purse of change in my bag!

TheChosenTwo · 19/06/2021 23:34

Dh always tips 20% in cash, I tip 10% however I’ve got it. I feel that everyone works bloody hard to get my meal to the table and make it magically disappear for me so if it gets shared, all the better.

Original poster
Wildgoose84 · 19/06/2021 23:41

New problem, is it called dinner or tea??
Well I won’t use my card to tip again, so thanks for that. Have I got it right that Chefs get a better salary? Or should I be getting the tip spread out?? We were out for dinner/tea a few weeks ago at a different place and the service was perfectly good but not a patch on today. Still tipped though, as I have always thought that was just part of the whole going out eating deal?

OP posts:
CliftonGreenYork · 19/06/2021 23:52

@Maireas

£65 seems a lot for afternoon tea for three of you, especially as your child is a toddler. If it was dinner I'd tip as that's more reasonable. However, if you thought it was amazing service, give a cash tip.
Tea means dinner in the north.
anothernamereally · 20/06/2021 00:00

Chefs probably do get the better salary and often don't take anything from the shared tips but my son spent his a levels doing pot wash and was always grateful for a shared tip

Thunderpunt · 20/06/2021 00:05

Most card machines allow you to separate out the tip, so the server puts in the bill amount and then the customer has the chance to add the value of the tip, the total is the amount deducted from the card. This means it's easier to split out the tips and give them to the staff if they've been paid by card (they also don't attract VAT this way so the full amount can be passed onto staff. Tips (cash and card) are split between waiting and kitchen staff in our restaurant

Proudpeacock · 20/06/2021 00:07

It is tricky isn't it? I always used to feel a bit funny about tipping as it has always been less normal in the UK but having gone out more in the last month I have been more generous and tipped 10% at least because I feel the staff deserve it for working in current conditions. Having said that all my ordering and paying has been through apps so it has been practically easier.

Even pre pandemic I was phasing out cash. I am now deliberately keeping a few coins for trolleys, parking etc but suspect I will revert to online soon.

Carbara · 20/06/2021 00:07

There’s not much point posting this subject here, it always just turns in to ‘tipping is for america, ugh’/‘I don’t get tips in the job I chose, wehhh’

To the non tippers who are jealous/treat servers with contempt: hospitality is crying out for staff, you’ll be able to get a job with tips no bother, yay! Right?! Or do you think you’d be fired within minutes?!

I did twenty years in hospitality, wouldn’t go back to it for anything less than £15 an hour, minimum, awful job.

Original poster
Wildgoose84 · 20/06/2021 00:16

Maybe that’s it… it’s a pretty American thing and we still haven’t got the hang of it yet? I don’t actually like that we tip. People should just get paid a decent salary… but that’s another thread I think!

OP posts:
RightOnTheEdge · 20/06/2021 00:31

I wait on tables and serve drinks, occasionally do housekeeping in the hotel bit.
I never expect or think I'm entitled to tips. I get paid a wage for my job. Not a great one but it's a proper wage.
It is very different to America because they get paid a pittance and tips are expected to make up their wages.

We don't get a lot of tips where I work, I get the odd pound coin put in my hand from some older customers and I usually get myself a cold drink or give it to my kids to get a sweet on the way home when I pick them up.
It's always appreciated and gives you a little boost but it's not essential.

Don't think about it too much OP. It's kind to give anything.
The kitchen staff do get more an hour than front of house.

CharlotteRose90 · 20/06/2021 00:59

I used to tip cash but since going out in lockdown and after everywhere I’ve been has had the tip onto the bill so we pay it that way. I think it’s cheeky as your not obligated to pay but when it’s on the bill I wouldn’t say no.

WorraLiberty · 20/06/2021 01:04

As much as I never carry cash, if we're going out to eat I always make sure to draw some out to give as a tip.

I can honestly say I've never gone with the percentage thing though.

A tip is a gift, so I tend to just give them a tenner regardless of how much the meal costs.

I mean great service is great service, regardless of how much you've eaten or drank.

WorraLiberty · 20/06/2021 01:08

@Maireas

£65 seems a lot for afternoon tea for three of you, especially as your child is a toddler. If it was dinner I'd tip as that's more reasonable. However, if you thought it was amazing service, give a cash tip.
Are you being disingenuous or have you just never heard of the vast amount of people who call dinner 'tea' and vice versa?

The OP said... Husband, toddler and I went out for tea tonight, pub/restaurant

And yet you've somehow got from that, that they went for 'afternoon tea'? Confused

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 20/06/2021 01:56

A tip is a gift, so I tend to just give them a tenner regardless of how much the meal costs.

I mean great service is great service, regardless of how much you've eaten or drank.

I've never understood that, either. If the tip is a thankyou for bringing your food and drink out promptly and with a smile and general willingness to assist, why does it make any difference whatsoever to the server if it's lobster and a triple brandy or macaroni cheese and a Coke?

All I can think of is whether it's assumed that, the more expensive the meal, the richer you are and thus the 'equal gratitude' is demonstrated in your tip as in whether a fiver means a great deal to you or you consider it as 'down-the-back-of-the-sofa' shrapnel; but surely you could be rich and order medium-priced food and drink at restaurants (maybe you genuinely want the options that happen to cost less) or you could have saved for five years for a big unashamed celebratory blow-out?!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 20/06/2021 02:02

I also don't get the faux misunderstanding of different but very common regional terms - and the southern preference isn't automatically the only 'correct' one.

You wouldn't be greeted at an airport with a friendly "Bonjour!" by a French person and, after pretending that you haven't a clue what they could possibly mean, tell them that 'hello' is actually the 'proper' greeting - and the subject of this one is within the same country.

Geauxtigers · 20/06/2021 02:11

Tend to agree with the person who said they give a set £ amount no matter the cost. I usually leave about a fiver tip for an evening meal. If its a special occasion maybe a tenner.
I'll never forget when we tipped our driver in Tanzania 15% of what we had paid for him that week (he really was incredible) - he cried and made us get on a WhatsApp video call to his wife as it turned out we had just given him about a 3 month salary. Ever since that I've just left what I've had whenever as I'm in the fortunate position to be able to afford it and for some people the extra might be a lifeline or for some it might just be a nice coffee on the way home!