Tipping at restaurants

[Wildgoose84]

Hello, longtime lurker but never felt the need to get a general consensus on anything before…. But I want to do the right thing! So, folks, your thoughts please!
Husband, toddler and I went out for tea tonight, pub/restaurant. Great food, nice atmosphere but really excellent service. Bill came to £65ish and when waitress came to take card payment I asked if I could add a tip on. She very openly said it was not worth it as it got split between all staff and taxed. So I paid the bill and had a discussion with husband over tip. I would usually plump for 10% cash but very very embarrassingly we only had £3 cash on us. I apologised and told her she made the meal! So… in these covid times, almost cashless and people getting minimum wage, not even living wage. What % is reasonable??? Having never worked in hospitality I am never sure I’m getting it right. What do we do when I want to tip a particular sever?? I feel like some kind of social fool! Help.

I always thought chefs got a better salary head chef may get decent pay but commis level and porters etc get shit pay, and tbh type of place you're describing I'd be surprised if head chef were even on decent pay. Was it a chain place?

Never tip on a card the grafters won't usually see a penny!

I agree tipping should go away in favour of actual living wages, hopefully that time will come sooner with hospitality now struggling to recruit.

I'll never forget when we tipped our driver in Tanzania 15% of what we had paid for him that week (he really was incredible) - he cried and made us get on a WhatsApp video call to his wife as it turned out we had just given him about a 3 month salary.

It's extra difficult in places with a big wealth imbalance, though. On the one hand, you're glad it means so much to them when it's no big deal to you, but on the other, you worry it might make their hard work in their actual job seem to be of no great import to them.

I remember when I was living in Europe (in a rich country) and went on a day trip to a village in a neighbouring much, much poorer country, which I'd been advised was beautiful (UNESCO site etc.) - and indeed it was. I went to buy an ice cream, having only just exchanged some currency, and it cost the equivalent of 5p. The smallest I had in local money was worth £1, so I gave it to the man selling the ice creams. He looked at it like I'd given him £1,000 and communicated (no common language) that he couldn't possibly change such a large note. It was only a quid to me, so I told him to take it and not to worry about any change. He refused to and gestured to take the ice cream for free - I suppose, to him, the differentials swung heavily in favour of that, but I was never, ever going to leave somebody for whom £1 was a fortune in a worse position than had I not traded with them; so I went to the nearby UNESCO site gift shop, bought some postcards I didn't need to get change and returned back to pay him!!

Surely parliament could and should rule on the scam of the restaurant manager simply keeping obvious tips given via card entirely for themselves?

Even if they took 5% for processing fees, possibly; BUT there was the capacity to pass a law banning places from charging extra for card payments than for cash, so it's already baked in to the overall prices charged by businesses anyway. How is it not clearly theft or fraud?

That said, I can see the logic behind sharing all tips among all same-level staff, as it doesn't seem fair that only those working FOH can be tipped potentially because of the chef going all out to cook an amazing meal; but then, it's a disincentive for any worker to try to go the extra mile, unless staff know that everybody working there does so routinely.

@Carbara

There’s not much point posting this subject here, it always just turns in to ‘tipping is for america, ugh’/‘I don’t get tips in the job I chose, wehhh’

To the non tippers who are jealous/treat servers with contempt: hospitality is crying out for staff, you’ll be able to get a job with tips no bother, yay! Right?! Or do you think you’d be fired within minutes?!

I did twenty years in hospitality, wouldn’t go back to it for anything less than £15 an hour, minimum, awful job.

There hasn't been any of that on this thread.

I did say that I don't tip and I provide a service in my job and don't get tipped. However there is no jealousy about it.

Everyone in this country earns at least minimum wage so tipping should not be expected to top up wages as it is in other countries. A lot of supermarket/retail staff get paid minimum wage but they don't get tips.

If it's not specified on the menu I'll ask the waiter what happens to the tips. I'll also happily ask for change if I don't have it so that I can tip the amount I want to tip.
My DDs worked somewhere where new staff weren't allowed tips until they had finished their probationary period. (Which was quite long)
One of their friends worked somewhere where the owners kept every penny and staff were sacked if they told that to customers.

We automatically tip about 10-15% or would round up but eek tricky if needs to be cash only as often don’t have much if any cash on us

When I was a waitress, 20 years ago, at the end of the night, all the card payment tips we’re totted up, and the cash taken out of the till and put into the tip jar.
Then, each week the tips were shared out based on the number of shifts, and type of shifts (more for sat night for eg) to waiting and kitchen staff.
It was a really fair way of doing it and I have always assumed that’s how it’s done in all restaurants, so have always tipped by card.

I’ve had waiters tell me they don’t see any of the tips that are paid by card so I try not to do it. In fact I thought it was pretty well known that it happened. In the South you often have a service charge added automatically though and I generally leave that on. On one occasion I asked them to remove it because the service was so bad. I don’t really like “tightness” about it…I’m not at all interested in “ I work in a service industry and don’t get tipped” attitude as an excuse. I presume if you can afford to eat out you can afford to tip.

Overseeing heads of department in a service industry, I can let you know that the tips are separated into a pool by the accounting functions in the till system and then divided up and awarded to the servers by the management.

It was the norm in one such establishment for the restaurant manager to award themselves 50% of the tip pool and divide the rest among the servers by merit. The kitchen staff do not get a look in as they come under another department head/costing code.

If you want to tip your server, do it in cash so they get to keep it.

Chefs may get a better salary but there are kps etc that also work in the kitchen for the same wage as the waiting staff and who appreciate tips just as much. They only way they get a share is if people tip on cards

I know someone who works front of house in hospitality. Tips in cafes, not all that frequent and not large. Tips in top-end local restaurant, really good. Believe me, for someone on minimum wage tips make a massive difference, though they always share them fairly between serving staff and everyone else.

I've tipped for years, ever since I could afford to.

I always do roughly 10% unless the service was really bad and then I don’t.
So last night’s dinner was £45 and I asked them to charge £50. It’s a small family run restaurant so I don’t mind adding it to the card bill but otherwise will always try to leave cash.

Got to laugh at the chefs getting a better salary. One of the biggest chains in the country is paying my DS £8ph head chef. He left at 9.30 this morning (Father's Day so a busy one) &he usually gets home at 1-2am. So yes he earns decent money in the end but my god the hours he puts in.
Please tip the staff.
Remember to take cash if you can.
They cannot Recruit staff. (Not surprised at that hourly rate though)

I could be completely wrong but suspect your DS Is Head Chef in name only. If he's working for a chain/pub I imagine his chef worki consists of microwaving ready prepared foods or chucking them
In a deep fat fryer. An experienced, qualified chef will not be working for less that £15 per hour.

[quote Wildgoose84]@ZenNudist lesson learned. Will remember to have £10 cash on me at all times now. I always thought chefs got a better salary and that’s why the tip went to the waiting staff instead… but like I said, never worked in hospitality so have no clue really.[/quote]
But the chefs are much more skilled than the waitresses and that's why they deserve a higher wage! If you have had a delicious meal then surely the person who cooked it should get the tip, not the person who just brought you the plate?

I know it’s not technically on the subject but my god have people been generous with tips since reopening after full lockdown!
We’re not even accepting cash yet in my coffee shop so I felt cheeky putting out our little tip jar but had too many requests from customers. In 6 months we’ve already made in tips what we normally make in a year. When I share them out at Christmas, the staff are going to be very happy!

I was thinking the opposite is true for delivery to the house, though, @AmazingBouncingFerret. I haven't given anyone a tip for over a year and prior to that would always give £2 to anyone delivering food. I haven't had any cash in all that time and I know we're meant to avoid using it. I wish there was a way of giving a tip - I feel really guilty about it.

DH is currently working in hospitality having been made redundant from his usual job. Tips are generally paid by card and they are fairly split out each month on the basis of number of hours worked. He got almost £400 last month from ‘service charge’ i.e. tips. Any cash tips are put in a jar and also shared out amongst every one, so not all places are the same.

I don’t tip. I used to be a waitress

@HumourReplacementTherapy

Got to laugh at the chefs getting a better salary. One of the biggest chains in the country is paying my DS £8ph head chef. He left at 9.30 this morning (Father's Day so a busy one) &he usually gets home at 1-2am. So yes he earns decent money in the end but my god the hours he puts in. Please tip the staff. Remember to take cash if you can. They cannot Recruit staff. (Not surprised at that hourly rate though)

Is he under 20? That's lower than NMW otherwise

I would have just tipped everyone. It may get split, but the bar staff and kitchen staff work just as hard as your waitress to ensure you get a good meal.

@EverythingRuined

If it's not specified on the menu I'll ask the waiter what happens to the tips. I'll also happily ask for change if I don't have it so that I can tip the amount I want to tip. My DDs worked somewhere where new staff weren't allowed tips until they had finished their probationary period. (Which was quite long) One of their friends worked somewhere where the owners kept every penny and staff were sacked if they told that to customers.

My daughter works somewhere the same, she isn’t yet allowed her tips, they go to the owners until they say she is trained.

@Thunderpunt

I could be completely wrong but suspect your DS Is Head Chef in name only. If he's working for a chain/pub I imagine his chef worki consists of microwaving ready prepared foods or chucking them In a deep fat fryer. An experienced, qualified chef will not be working for less that £15 per hour.

There's a bit more to it than that and I must admit, I thought the same Re chain restaurant 'chefs' before he worked there but there's a lot more cooking involved than I ever realised. But no, you're right, he'd not be a head chef in an independent restaurant but all the same, he runs the kitchen, cooks, orders stock with the supplier, stock rotation, all food safety/H&S checks.... on and on..... (he's only 19 hence the wage) Good experience though.

Everyone in this country earns at least minimum wage

Do you truly believe that?!

Do you also think it's possibly to live on nmw?

and I have always assumed that’s how it’s done in all restaurants

Why did you assume that?

there are kps etc that also work in the kitchen for the same wage as the waiting staff

Or less

@HumourReplacementTherapy how old is he? That's surely below nmw for him and at that level of responsibility it's a piss take! Ok so barely legal still a piss take!

But the chefs are much more skilled than the waitresses

You ever worked in either role?

I have

I'd argue commis level chefs around same skill level as waitress

Different skills, same difficulty

Calls to mind that friends episode showing Rachel being an arrogant twat to wait staff before becoming one herself and learning its harder than it looks!